Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for July 07, 2023

It isn’t the parenting that screws you up. It’s the genes.

The fact that you’re screwing yourself up, Calvin?

What assurance do we have that your childing isn’t screwing us up?

When I was a young parent, there were times I questioned my parenting. However, there were also times I questioned my childs childing.

Well Bucko..

Just remind them that you’ll be choosing their nursing home someday — it will help to keep them focused.

Take it or leave!

Calvin’s idea of perfect parenting: no making him go to school; letting him stay up as long as he likes; letting him use power tools; no vegetables; no baths; no babysitters.

Sounds like he’s having a Eureka Moment!!!

That’s what sucks about it; if they are, you usually don’t realize til you’re an adult.

Calvin’s really thinking, “What assurance do I have that your screwing me up isn’t parenting?”

Well gee, Calvin, I don’t know. Maybe a little warming of your posterior region might give you further assurance?

Wait until you’re in your early twenties, then sit down and assess how screwed up you are.

Considering that they never wanted him in the first place (at least, Dad didn’t), Calvin may have a point there.

Looks like he finally figured it out.

There are no assurances in life, Calvin.

It was quite a shock when, as a child, I realized my parents did not know everything and were making it up as they went along.

None

Actually, Calvin, your childhood is screwing them up.

The running joke in my family was laughing at the parents who thought “they” were going to raise perfect kids.

In this society, doing nothing with kids is screwing them up!

Paddling Calvin’s fundament would begin to straighten him up…

TOO late!

Absolutely none

The question could also be interpreted as “How do I know it’s not you?”

None…you have to wait years to find out!

you won’t realize it until you’re paying 200 dollars an hour for an psychiatrist to sort through all that childhood ‘trauma’

Said every kid ever born at one time or another. Then it’s their turn.

None.

Too late, that ship has sailed.

None. Now go to bed.

Ya puts down yer dollar, ya spins tha wheel.

Save it for later, Cal. You’ll get the picture then.

Given his behavior, that could be a valid question.

Phillip Larkin, This Be the Verse

None, Calvin. But you do your best to help.

Absolutely none.

None. Go watch TV.

As usual, Calvin attempts to avoid any personal responsibility for his behavior/actions.

Too late Calvin.

Now days if anything is screwing you up it’s your friends and the internet.

Even if they are you only get to play that card for so long. Then you have to step up and take responsibility for your own decisions and the life you live.

Relax, screwed up kids are today’s success stories.

Despite three STEM degrees, I’ve given up on science. My wife and I come from narrow genetic pools on opposite sides of the world. We raised all three kids the same. But neither nature or nurture seems to work as they are about as orthogonally different as can be.Of course, we should parent as well as we can and can’t stop worrying about them, but they will be what they will be. In over 40 years, I’ve taught over 15,000 university students. This generation is neither better nor worse than previous ones. Yes, they are a little different due to their environment. But not as different as many people (including politicians on both sides) think.

Too late.

What about drug experimentation ? And money ?

It comes down to what your therapist says.

None.

“Because you’re already screwed up? The most we can do is reverse it.”

It’s how you react to the parenting that screws you up.

No parenting is perfect, just as no human being (any age) is.

I bet the Dad said the same thing to HIS parents!

Typical Calvin — trying to shift the blame for his bad behavior.

Be assured it is. No one comes out of childhood perfect.

It’s not like he has a lot of other options.

/\ Actually it can be either, or both, and there is no guarantee even if things seem ok to you as a kid.

None right now, Calvin. Wait about fifteen years and if you’re not in jail, they didn’t screw you up.

None that you can understand at your age, Calvin.

Absolutely none. Same as the rest of us.

This is weird. It looks like their couch and end table are floating in a void.

3 times meals, with loads of cookies, a stuffed tiger, a bathing tub, a separate room, a tree house in the yard, advices on building character. What more can a six year old ask.

Go clean your room!

None.

Already too late.

I’m not the least bit paranoid but I’m 100% certain Watterson is following me around!!!

how did i miss this?? great pristine toon plus the discussion is fantastic.. !

Look in the mirror, boy.