Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 14, 2021

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    BE THIS GUY  over 2 years ago

    When Tim Apple says upgrade your software, you should say:

    You’re not the Jobs of me!

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    BasilBruce  over 2 years ago

    “Oompa loompas”? That’s nuts.

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    Alexander the Good Enough  over 2 years ago


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    sirbadger  over 2 years ago

    When I got my new phone, I put my old phone in airplane mode so it would not ask for updates. I use it as a kitchen timer. I sold my most recent old phone, but still have 2 previous old phones.

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Yesterday I Charged and re-used my 2013 Windows8 Nokia Lumia and I discovered that WStore don’t work anymore since 2019.

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    Obi-Haiv  over 2 years ago

    My Samsung phone is almost six years old. It no longer gets updates, and it works just fine!

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    willispate  over 2 years ago

    I can’t remember the last time i read the words “I’ll kick you right in the Oompa Loompas”.

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    Baarorso  over 2 years ago

    I remember Microslops…er..Microsoft trying to shove Win 10 down our throats when we were perfectly comfortable with older versions of the OS. :/

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    GROG Premium Member over 2 years ago

    You oughta give that Tim Cook a kickback he won’t forget.

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    tudza Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Resist! Last update messed up my lock screen art.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Now I know what happens if I ignore the upgrade notices! Okay, okay…Sheese

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    Templo S.U.D.  over 2 years ago

    You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Cook.

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    Bilan  over 2 years ago

    I’ve never had Apple updates mess up anything, but I’ve had two Microsoft patches that screwed up our systems.

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    suv2000  over 2 years ago

    And then it died

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    marilynnbyerly  over 2 years ago

    I’ve had major issues after transferring my old iMac’s stuff to my new iMac. The old one gave it demenia. (No, it’s not a virus. Something was really screwed up in my old computer.) I just upgraded in hopes of it improving and it got worse. Sigh. The Genius Bar is in my near future.

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    oompa  over 2 years ago

    Kick him in the what? What’d i do?

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    LookingGlass Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Never had an “Apple” product and never will!! Thank you very much!! If I want to purchase an “apple,” I’ll go to my nearest grocery store!!


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    ronaldspence  over 2 years ago

    updates are a plot!

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    jessie d. Premium Member over 2 years ago

    One advantage of being old is you still have a landline. I keep the cell thing with a different number for the junk stuff. That blame thing gets enraged and hops around for not being answered.

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    iggyman  over 2 years ago

    Updated mine yesterday! (I don’t want to be kicked in the Oompa-Loompas!)

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    pauljmsn  over 2 years ago

    I have a flip phone. What is this “update” of which you speak?

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    AtariDragon  over 2 years ago

    This is why I no longer use an iPhone.

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  23. Whatever  over 2 years ago

    This might be the cheapest way to get you a meeting at your place with Tim Cook ever.

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    Gent  over 2 years ago

    Somehow the phone always gets slower and space always gets lesser and more unwanted stuffs gets installed after every updates.

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    HarryLime Premium Member over 2 years ago

    In my part of the Metaverse, we use the expression: “right in the crab apples.”

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    MayCauseBurns  over 2 years ago

    More spyware for you!

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    The exact reason why I stick with android phones

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    The whole Windows 11 thing is to get people to buy new computers to run it!! Well I got 4 more years of Windows 10 and can wait.

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    Ignatz Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Programmers have to justify their jobs after they’ve finished programming. So they have to keep producing useless upgrades, and tinkering with the thing until they break it.

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    Ellis97  over 2 years ago

    You gotta update everything nowadays.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Next comes updating the phone so the one he has is obsolete and no longer works and has to buy a new one. Told to me by a friend who lost all of the unreplaceable pictures on his old flip phone when it happened to him. :.(

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    MS72  over 2 years ago

    My favorite” “Account action required. Add birthday to your google account now”

    Does g send out presents? :-)

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  over 2 years ago

    Sell your oompa loompas, Pig. Mountain oysters.

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    kirico  over 2 years ago

    Can you refuse a phone update? On mine you can put it off 3 times I think before it says it will do it without your ok. This is a Samsung, so Apple may be different.

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    txmystic  over 2 years ago

    Ahem. It’s “family jewels”, Tim…

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    YippiKiAyMofo  over 2 years ago

    Or, just don’t use an iPhone and your oompah loompahs will be fine.

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    david_42  over 2 years ago

    A couple weeks ago, my phone spent five days downloading an update. Same version of the OS I’ve always had! Still messed the phone up and I had to purge all of my call history to clear the problem.

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    Steverino Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Computers are the works of the Devil. How many times have you seen someone sitting at a computer keyboard taking the Lord’s name in vein? Ditto with cell phones.

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    uniquename  over 2 years ago

    Apple sells an impressive amount of phones, but most of the world does not, in fact, run on Apple phones. In fact, Samsung sells more phones.

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    aerotica69  over 2 years ago

    I am never bothered by prompts to update my phone……because that doesn’t happen on land lines.

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    Display  over 2 years ago

    Whichever phone, tablet, or computer you own just how many people actually look into what they’re about to update before they start the update?

    How many use anti-virus let alone anti-spyware or anti-malware? And how often if ever do you check those to be sure that their auto-updating protection is actually doing that and that they are also not auto-updating each of their apps and programs?

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    Linguist  over 2 years ago

    My wife bought me a new android phone with all the bells & whistles for my birthday. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I was perfectly happy with my old cell phone – which I seldom used. This one has so many apps – especially gaming apps – which I will never, ever use – and so many daily message requests to download some app – I find most annoying. I found the Do Not Disturb button so I don’t have to listen to the constant pongs and pings. All I want is a phone that I can use to call someone if I have to, not another computer!!

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    Zebrastripes  over 2 years ago

    NOOOOO! Not the family jewels !

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    kaycstamper  over 2 years ago

    Does it work now?

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    Goat from PBS  over 2 years ago

    Never would’ve happened if he had a Galaxy.

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    Andrew Bosch Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I wait a week after one of these updates before applying.

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    FassEddie  over 2 years ago

    I’m gonna not update just to get a visit from Tim! That would be great!

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    B UTTONS  over 2 years ago

    Rat, I’ll be singing soprano for a while my oompa loompas take their time traveling back down. They are painfully singing

    Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee, If you are wise you’ll listen to me. What do you get when you …

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    Cerabooge  over 2 years ago

    I simply don’t update the phone. I also don’t have financial information on it, like credit card info, nor do I use it for email, and I rarely use it for browsing. As long as it doesn’t go wonky, I’ll keep the same version of the OS that it came with.

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    chris_o42  over 2 years ago

    I hate updates. They do mess everything up, so I never do them.

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    skipper1992  over 2 years ago

    As a person with dwarfism: please don’t kick me, Tim Cook.

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    Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 2 years ago

    And your next update should be on the TV you’re watching. It looks older than my combo TV/VCR, if such a thing is possible!

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    WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Kind of reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer didn’t want his junk mail. Earned him a visit with the Postmaster General…

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    skyriderwest  over 2 years ago

    Never owned any Apple products. Never will.

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    schaefer jim  over 2 years ago

    Did Tim Cook approve this message?

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    NatureBatsLast  over 2 years ago

    Has anyone else figured out his business model?

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    old_geek  over 2 years ago

    If the Pope Tim Cook says to update….

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    zeexenon  over 2 years ago

    The CEO a Jehovah’s witness?

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    Buckeye67  over 2 years ago

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve lost all my respect for pig.

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    moondog42 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Most times, Apple devices are smart enough to know they can’t handle the update. But not phones, go figure.

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    Mentor397  over 2 years ago

    And guess what? The updates messed everything up. As least the Oompa Loompas are safe, for now.

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    donwestonmysteries  over 2 years ago

    That’s how I feel about Windows. It always has bugs that screw something up on my computer. Luckily Bill Gates is retired.

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    Znox11  over 2 years ago

    Wow! So many comments, I had a funny joke about Apple but no one would read this far down so I’m not going to bother commenting today.

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    rgcviper  over 2 years ago

    Nooo—not the Oompa Loompas!

    That phrase always makes me laugh.

    Fun comic here.

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    BeniHanna6 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Apple just wants you to update it to eventually make it inoperable, then sell you a new one for over $1000.

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    president Lincoln log  over 2 years ago

    to much tim, to much

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    knight1192a  over 2 years ago

    Yeah, don’t bother listening to him

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    cat3crazy Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I don’t use Apple products. Android works fine for me. And I only need one cord to charge any of my devices.

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    Sisyphos  over 2 years ago

    Apple is a tad imperious….

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    andrew.scharnhorst  over 2 years ago

    That’s exactly why I don’t have any Apple products.

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    TIMH  over 2 years ago

    Don’t you understand? You must accept the updates so that we can screw your old phone up so much that, in frustration, you buy a new model. Do your duty. Submit!

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    McGehee  over 2 years ago

    Shenanigans. Tim Cook would be telling him to buy a new phone so the update won’t mess it up.

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    AndreasMartin  over 2 years ago

    At least he didn’t say ‘buy the new iPhone’. Probably even he can’t think of a reason to do that any more.

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  74. Missing large  over 2 years ago

    Bring back “The Princess Phone”—-women will prefer it.Especially if it’s pink.

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    Steve Smith   about 1 year ago

    Oompa Loompa

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