Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 13, 2020

Rat may need to see a shrink.

I think you are right, Goat.

Depends, what’s in the glass?

Is it Flint, Michigan water?

Will you refill it if I drink it?

A guy I know had an interesting take on it: it depends on your relationship to the glass.

If you’re putting into it, it’s half full.

If you’re taking out of it, it’s half empty.

Add more ice, it’ll seem full.

People are already blowing themselves up, Rat. It’s called austere scholarism.

Rat is a realist.

I see it as not being as tempting as cola.

Silly Rat – we’ll be dead and forgotten long before the sun goes nova, whether we blow ourselves up or not.

Engineer: The glass is too big.

Philosopher: The glass is. I think.

Professor: I’ll leave that as an exercise for my grad students.

Lawyer: How much would a full glass be worth to you?

The current President: Keep your eye on that glass while I fill it by Executive Order (plucking your wallet while you’re distracted)

…

An optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist is sure of it…

As a realist, I see the glass as twice as big as it needs to be.

By the time that happens, me and my cousin will already be in Heaven and with our loved ones. Who cares how we see the glass?

I’m a realist, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The glass is bone dry.

Rat that was a multiple choice question not fill in the blank ;-) … Croc Power !

The likelihood of which increased exponentially since January 2017.

A pessimist sees the glass as half empty.

An optometrist wants to know if you see the glass as more full like this? Or like this?

Isn’t a Delusional Pessimist someone who is always building Dungeons in the Sky?

Jef the Cyclist would calm down by going for a ride. Then he would tell everyone that the glass is always full; half water, half air.

That’s optimistic. Once most humans are dead, the rest will have a wonderful Renaissance.

Long before the Sun expands we will have rendered this planet uninhabitable.

Rat has gone straight to nihilism.

From that drawing I would say that the glass less than half full and more than half empty.

There’s twice as much glass as there needs to be.

Yes, in about 5 million years, the Sun will run out of hydrogen to fuse and start burning helium. At that point, it will expand into a red giant, and Earth will know the true meaning of global warming (and I’m going to be punished for that comment, I suppose).

Rats not far off…..

No, the glass is the wrong size. ;-)

My spin on this question is this: “It matter’s not if the glass is half-empty or half-full IF free refills are available!”

“On a long enough time line the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.” – Tyler Durden

Rat left out killing ourselves by destroying our resources.

considering that we exist as species since less than a quarter of a million years, a few more million years till the sun thing seems relevant

Realist. Most people today have their heads buried in the sand. We don’t have to worry about the sun blowing up in a billion years; we’re working hard on turning the Earth into a burning planet ourselves. What did one comedian say… “The world is great. It’s people that are the problem.”

Realist… like me, except I also keep contemplating the heat death of the universe… and then I puzzle why a universe exists in the first place

Pig doesn’t have ink on his face!

I’m optimistically pessimistic.

I see it as half-way to my next beer.

So let it be written, so let it be done. For you, Rat.

Poor Pig. You did ask Rat, after all.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll no doubt say it again: A pessimist sees it as half-empty, an optimist sees it as half-full – and a realist knows that either way, someone’s gonna have to wash the damn glass.

I’m with Rat.

The question is: are there still people stupid enough to set off more nuclear weapons on Earth while we still have no way to evacuate?

That is one bad attitude rat.

“Is that booze?”

“Yes”.

CHUG!

“Empty”.

It is not half full or half empty, it is time to call the bartender…

Everything ends.

The glass is too small.

Large. I knew what i meant.

I have a friend like that. Normally, I’d avoid someone like her, but she’s part of a social group that has been together almost 40 years. At one birthday party, she spent the entire time talking about how the Yellowstone Park volcanoes are going to wipe out all life on Earth. As a much nicer friend says, “Every group has its own Eeyore, and she’s ours.” I spent most of the same party trying to convert her to the worship of Beebo, god of war and cuddles. (LEGENDS OF TOMORROW) He’s blue, he’s cheerful, and he loves food, cuddles, and crushing demons to death. What’s not to love? (Yes, this is a group of nerds.)

The glass is always full. Full of liquid or air or some combination of the two.

oh wow! the last panel is the same perspective?!

I am an engineer. I see that someone designed this glass twice as large as was needed.

I find laying the Nyquil on an edge yields closest to the last drop.

If it is milk, I see it as never coming out even when I have donuts. Need more milk; or need more donuts…sigh.

“There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty.

The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What’s up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don’t think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who’s been pinching my beer?

And at the other end of the bar the world is full of the other type of person, who has a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over (usually by one of the people calling for a larger glass) or who had no glass at all, because he was at the back of the crowd and had failed to catch the barman’s eye. ”

― Terry Pratchett, The Truth

The Pessimism is strong in this one!

Pass the glass; I need a drink after that Rat-blast!

Is this the answer to life, the universe and everything or is it 42

Your cards are all drawn at birth/ you leave nothing but “pieces on Earth”/ but that shouldn’t mean/ that the time in between/ ought not to be spent seeking mirth !

Bill Maher in rodent form.

Honestly, Rat is me in the third panel.