Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 12, 2023

Don’t worry, you won’t even realize you’re dead.

I’m allergic to tobacco, but I do like fried chicken and pizza.

Now I’m wondering if there’s a place that serves chicken pizza . . .

I’m feeling some Velveteen Rabbit here

After a while youse guys become public domain, recently happened to Winnie the Poo.

This is going to be a great shock to the many readers who seem to believe comic characters are real beings.

If he develops dementia, the quality of the drawing will go down and it will be the exact same joke every day.

Kudos Pastis. You is goes The Watterson Way of not letting anyone else after you to retcons and ruins your characters.

Too bad. The Peanuts gang will live forever.

You will lives in reruns Pig. So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

That is until some PC-CC gang in future decides that you must be cancelled.

I volunteer. Or, I could do a comic called Pearls Before Pigs under the name Steve Pastiche.

They’ll meet Little Nemo, Steve Canyon and Charlie Brown in Comic Strip Heaven.

Self-aware comic characters? What’s next? Artificial intelligence?

The samurai code of honor. When a samurai died, his retainers committed seppuku.

what does he drink with that?

Well, at least Pig will be a smoked ham when he dies.

Just point me in the direction of the desserts.

Pearls just became Death Wish comics.

Happened with Peanuts, will probably happen with this as well.

Houston, we have a problem.

Everybody Got Die Sometime Red ……. Platoon

Smoking is the most disgusting habit in the history of Earth

I say take him out now and write the strip yourselves.

Uh, Stephan—Redrawing TVs and hairdos on “Family Circus” reruns doesn’t make them new episodes.

Pig is the prescient one here?

Eat right, don’t drink, don’t smoke, get plenty of exercise.

Die anyway.

(not advocating poor lifestyle choices or anything, mind you!)

You mean Steph’s contract doesn’t have a coronary…er…corollary?

Perhaps now Rat will think twice before pummeling Stephen when he makes pun comics.

No, what happens is like the Peanuts characters – They end up on memes on Facebook saying things Charles Schultz would NEVER have them say in a million years. Linus supporting your political agenda? Little Sally cussing? Please!!!!

Blondie also on the list, with Beetle Bailey. And each one has been greatly diminished.

Well, the characters live on in our hearts and memories for all time and eternity. Take Peanuts for example, it’s lived on forever in new animated iterations and reruns of the strip. Not to mention all the merchandise overseas in Japan. Even if the original creator may be gone, his legacy will live on forever.

They should be worried. Stephan is almost old enough to wear his baseball cap frontwards

I think this is Steve’s first pun-less appearance, it must be serious.

Uh-oh, now the characters are going to go on strike until Pastis takes up a healthy lifestyle. This could get interesting. Or really boring.

And don’t forget “Blondie” and “Dennis The Menace”.

Is this foreshadowing?

What about Libby? >

Save the crocs!

Quick! Get him the eternal life pill!

I’m joking, of course. Outliving the Earth sounds cool, but there are more downs that ups, I’d imagine.

Pig is having a Back to the Future moment when he realizes his mother smokes.

Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do? Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do? Subtle innuendos follow. There must be something inside – Adam Ant

Pastis doesn’t really smoke. I wonder why he pretends to do it in the strip. Maybe so the older kids will think he’s cool?

…see Big Nate today.

He could have his characters exhibit his symptoms of cancer when he gets it

Wonder if Pastis is signaling….

Well “The Argyle Sweater” {Scott Hilburn} had been getting Bad Punny lately. So I’m sure Dad Jokes and Puns will live on.

No, Steph has issues. You have a problem. There’s a difference.

…there’s always re-runs…☺️❤️

What about my pet Demodex arachnids?

I see a problem.

oh well…there’s always reruns…

Charles Schulz died many years ago, but his reruns have run since then. If Pastis wants that, he needs to up his game. Not that that’s an insult. Charles Schulz was one of a kind.

I’m a big fan of Pearls and Stephan but this is his best that I can recall. I love when he breaks the fourth wall.

… We can’t knock off Steph without harming ourselves.

How’s the gag order coming along?

Yes, I’m always of afraid of contracting cancer from second-hand chicken…

Well,Steph has promised that this strip won’t end up like ALLEY OOP or MARK TRAIL. That’s one small favor

So if he lives to 105, he will still be drawing them? Or will Rat, Pig, and crew already be dead

When Steph dies the PBS legacy strips will be out of his hands.

Don’t believe him.

The Surgeon General has determined that cartooning may be hazardous to your health.

Still better than a cartoonist killing their characters. Berkeley Breathed killed Opus.

Hm, I recall having seen or heard Pastis stating that he quit drawing smoking in the strip (both himself and Guard Duck (where art thou, GD?)) because he didn’t want to promote smoking. And from what I understood, he doesn’t smoke. Has he fallen off the wagon.

They’ll never die…they will just run in endless repeats, like with Peanuts.

Even the lesser-known strips have repeats – when was the last time Agnes had a new strip?

More like a serious situation!

Pastis started smoking when “Pearls” became successful.

Pastis is choosing to go the route of his hero, Charles Schulz.

Don’t think about it too much, Pig. Que sera, sera.

Besides, Cartoon-Boy may be just pulling your leg….

I have faith the Estate will sell out…

Oh, crud, Steph needs an intervention to live forever, now!

So, you’re saying… This comic might end a bit early? Thank goodness! I already feared you lived very healthy and would become 100 or more. :DGo eat more pork, btw. :P

Chichen Itza in Mexico. Mayan ruins known by some as Chicken Pizza.

Ha, ha, I’m better than you, Steph. I eat fried food too, but I don’t smoke.