Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 16, 2023

Just say, “I don’t want to tell you.” That way, you won’t be lying.

That dentist is actually a serial killer.

Beware the dentist who pulls out a drill and barks More Power! like Tim Taylor.

Instead of laughing gas, he’ll give you truth serum.

Like I needed another reason to hate the dentist.

Still better than a dentist asking Is it safe?

It’s like being in the movie “Marathon man”.

True that, And their patients are too trusting….

I don’t know why they bother to ask unless they just want to see if you will lie to them. As soon as they examine your teeth they can tell if you are following proper dental hygiene.

Yes Pig, they do have a lot of “Pull”!

I always tell my mom I’d rather go to the dentist than what she wanted me to do.

I like to eat spinach and poppy seeds just before my dentists appointment. Make him work for his money.

Aha. Me is always knews dentists is eeevil.

If they ask you “how often do you floss” they know you don’t, ever. They just want to make you admit it.

Just start flossing a lot beforehand, Pig, and that should save your skin if they ask you.

Is it safe? …. whizzzzzz

They ask every time, and I simply say, “Same answer as last time. At my age, I’m not changing the way I do things.”

I haven’t had a cavity since starting Keto 4 years ago! No cereal, fruit, grains, but I eat well and don’t get hungry.

Pig should think of the floss dance while answering the question.

I just love whoever it is sitting on the pillow : )

A dental hygienist that I had years back told that she tried to guess what people had for lunch while cleaning their teeth. So it is a good idea to brush and floss beforehand

You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else in search of a dream! You’re a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs: “Hey, denty!” Next thing you know you’ll be saying, “They should have their own schools”! K. Kramer

He will really refer you to a periodontist. It will only FEEL like being pushed off a roof.

Bah. That dentist is much too soft. He should be like Steve Martin’s character in Little Shop of Horrors.

“Son, be a dentist…”

One more thing Dr. Smith’s assistant said to Pig: “We don’t accept your insurance.”

That cannot be legal. I’d recommend a different dentist.

Anybody ever notice the maximum cap on what dental insurance plans pay?

I tell them I have a Teflon allergy.

That’s pretty harsh. My last dentist did waterboarding and I thought that was harsh, my current dentist only uses shock therapy.

I’ve never had a dentist ask. They always tell me (these days I do, but I wasn’t so good in my younger days).

As I sometime remind a dentist friend, Doc Holliday was one of them too.

The whole “dental hygiene” thing is a racket. ;)

I always say “More than before”.

Only floss the ones you want to keep.

I just love it when my dentist and his assistant discuss their plans for the evening and how each other’s kids are doing as there’s a screaming drill in my mouth.

that’s not what they mean by roofies?:}

Don’t bother lying, they can tell if you floss regularly or not. I actually enjoy flossing

I floss every night after I eat.

Dentistry must do something to a person… Dentists are so grumpy all the time!

Dr. Smith’s assistant will yell “Danger Will Robinson” and electrocute you with his claws

Well THANK YOU VERY MUCH, Mr. Pastis! I already have a severe case of dentophobia. This plays right into my darkest suspicions!

I figured he just wouldn’t use novacain.

Just so you know, the scientific evidence that flossing helps is pretty thin, >

Corbin Bernsen in THE DENTIST—1996

You can’t lie to a dentist…the answer is obvious. (don’t ask me how I know)

Joke from an OLSEN&JOHNSON Movie

The two comics are on stage. Instead of asking “Is there a doctor in the house??”—they ask “Is there a dentist in the house?”

A dentist stands up and identifies hiMSelf.The comics pull guns and shoot him,and yell—“hOW DO you LIKE BEING DRILLED?”,

It’s enlightening when you research why dentistry (teeth) is not covered by standard medical insurance. And how in recent decades many times the dental profession ranks right up there with used car dealers in the top of consumer complaints

There is a 1996 slasher movie “The Dentist” that stared Corbin Bernsen that was loosely based on an actual serial killer dentist. I highly recommend viewing this rather graphic movie before your next dental appointment.

Doesn’t look that difficult to me. Yours truly the dentist Corbin Bernsen

What? No references to Little Shop of Horrors, especially the movie musical with Steve Martin as The Dentist?

Just once I’d like to be this guy, and really stick it to my dentist:

https://www.youtube.Com/watch?v=XB7R0ZxNgC4

If you were born too late to join the Spanish Inquisition, don’t worry.. you can always become a dentist and still get the same experience…

Floss?

He won an award for dentist of the year. They gave him a plaque

Time to find a new one

Remember on ‘The Simpsons’ and the psychotic dentist on one episode?

I haven’t flossed with string in many years. I used a WaterPik flosser. Works perfectly and my dentist says no problem with my teeth. If you dislike using string, try it.

Easy answer… I don’t floss. I have dentures, so I don’t need to. Then again, that also means I don’t have to visit the dentist, so they won’t be asking me that question anyway. So it’s a win-win for me.

Fillings, nothing more than fillings, trying to forget my…

A good dentist can tell how much you floss during the examination.