Speaking of swift kicks, the long-running controversy has finally been settled. Women have long contended that the worst pain in the world is childbirth, while men have always held it to be a kick in the nuts. But think about it. Half a year after giving birth, many women are speculating about wanting another baby, but you’ve never ever heard a guy say “Gee, I think I’d like another kick in the nuts.”
Let me give you some financial advice, Calvin. All you have to do is change the sign to read “Give me a swift kick in the butt for one dollar.” You’ll make lots of money. You might even be able to up the price to two or three dollars.
I see a line forming right here in the comments. Shameful. Just shameful. You people should get a swift ki…oh, sorry Calvin. Didn’t mean to cut into your business.
Oh, I’m sure there’s a market for a little derriere abuse today. In fact, I just watched an episode of “Castle” where women get paid lots of money for such services. The world has only gotten weirder since ’92!
I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would meet her connection At her feet was her footloose man No, you can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want But if you try sometime you find You get what you needRolling Stones
During recess one year boys were singing “one two three kick in the rear we are good old pals.” The group went up to a boy kicked him, then he joined the group to kick another kid. (Only one kid did the kicking. That phrase doesn’t show up on google.)
BE THIS GUY over 1 year ago
Calvin, you may know what people need; you don’t know what they want.
(Yeah, I ripped off Dylan)
Charles Barr Premium Member over 1 year ago
Calvin could make a fortune selling them all to himself.
codycab over 1 year ago
They only hire professionals, Calvin.
The Calvinosaurus That Calvin Wanted To Discover over 1 year ago
Hobbes should buy one just to make Calvin feel better.
Templo S.U.D. over 1 year ago
got a dollar to use on yourself, Calvin?
Macushlalondra over 1 year ago
I know plenty of people I would give a swift kick you know where for free!
Imagine over 1 year ago
Sales would be much better in DC. Can I buy them for others?
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 1 year ago
Speaking of swift kicks, the long-running controversy has finally been settled. Women have long contended that the worst pain in the world is childbirth, while men have always held it to be a kick in the nuts. But think about it. Half a year after giving birth, many women are speculating about wanting another baby, but you’ve never ever heard a guy say “Gee, I think I’d like another kick in the nuts.”
in.amongst over 1 year ago
Kick in the butt is always an iffy proposition.
Peterh778 over 1 year ago
That they need it doesn’t mean they willing to pay for it :)
eastern.woods.metal over 1 year ago
Who’s on the kicking end and who’s on the receiving end? I think the person spending the dollar gets to decide
DaveG1960 over 1 year ago
How to win friends and influence people……..
dlkrueger33 over 1 year ago
Add a “Buy One Get One Free” sign.
chuckcork1 over 1 year ago
Maybe if he offered gift certificates?
rentier over 1 year ago
But nobody wants it! Perhaps you must sell " When you don’t want a kick, pay 1 $."
hariseldon59 over 1 year ago
He’s often the one who needs it.
The Reader Premium Member over 1 year ago
I respect Hobbes for not using his third panel expression in panel four as well.
ACK! Premium Member over 1 year ago
Ask Susie. I’m sure she’d like to buy a kick of his but.
Who, me? over 1 year ago
Let me give you some financial advice, Calvin. All you have to do is change the sign to read “Give me a swift kick in the butt for one dollar.” You’ll make lots of money. You might even be able to up the price to two or three dollars.
oakie817 over 1 year ago
open branch in Washington DC
'IndyMan' over 1 year ago
Makes me wonder if ‘Calvin’ is somehow related to ‘Bucky Katt’ in ‘Get Fuzzy’. They both seem to have the same personality—rampant egotism !! ! ! !
dflak over 1 year ago
I believe in the muleskinner’s approach to management: you have to know all about @$$es.
Which one to sit on and when to get off it.
Which ones to pinch.
Which ones to kick.
Which ones to kiss
But most importantly, which one to call “boss.”
e.groves over 1 year ago
I’d pay a dollar to give him a swift kick in the butt.
well-i-never over 1 year ago
I see a line forming right here in the comments. Shameful. Just shameful. You people should get a swift ki…oh, sorry Calvin. Didn’t mean to cut into your business.
YippiKiAyMofo over 1 year ago
Oh, I’m sure there’s a market for a little derriere abuse today. In fact, I just watched an episode of “Castle” where women get paid lots of money for such services. The world has only gotten weirder since ’92!
djtenltd over 1 year ago
In that case, Calvin should be the first in line!
RobinHood over 1 year ago
Oh, you should be charging people to kick you.
rshive over 1 year ago
Needing is one thing, Calvin. Wanting is another.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 1 year ago
Try reverse psychology. “A kind word for a dollar.” Of course you might run up against church interests there, but it’s worth it.
Otis Rufus Driftwood over 1 year ago
And to think Lucy kept her psychiatry fees to five cents.
Daltongang Premium Member over 1 year ago
Physician, Heal thyself. Okay Hobbs, heal Calvin for us.
wgs over 1 year ago
Calvin SHOULD have said “Everybody knows I need what I am selling!”
hank311 over 1 year ago
MY Goodness! I am now officially old. I have an exact copy of the comic I cut from a newspaper MANY years ago!!
g04922 over 1 year ago
Calvin should be the first in line….
Realimaginary1 Premium Member over 1 year ago
You must make A Swift Kick in the Butt into a documentary film if you want $$$.
Troglodyte over 1 year ago
Another failed start-up story in the making…
mistercatworks over 1 year ago
Yeah, most people are waiting for that slow kick in the b*tt.
Marty241 over 1 year ago
I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would meet her connection At her feet was her footloose man No, you can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want But if you try sometime you find You get what you needRolling Stones
NoSleepTil_BKLYN over 1 year ago
Classic!
skyriderwest over 1 year ago
Know thyself, Calvin.
Norris66 over 1 year ago
During recess one year boys were singing “one two three kick in the rear we are good old pals.” The group went up to a boy kicked him, then he joined the group to kick another kid. (Only one kid did the kicking. That phrase doesn’t show up on google.)
WCraft Premium Member over 1 year ago
It’s all about location. Mover your stand to D.C.!
rugeirn over 1 year ago
Kind of similar to trying to sell colonoscopies, but without recommendations from the medical profession.
wiley207 over 1 year ago
At least here he didn’t make it as blatant… https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1995/07/08
Incredulous over 1 year ago
My favorite comic. I had it on my fridge for years.
LrdSlvrhnd over 1 year ago
I’m sure plenty of people would be willing to pay a buck to swiftly kick Calvin in the butt.
Ammo is on a break Premium Member over 1 year ago
This Strip hung in my Office for decades. It spoke to me.
Bilan over 1 year ago
There must certainly be people that would pay $1.00 to kick Calvin in the butt.
Arghhgarrr Premium Member over 1 year ago
Truth seldom sells. If it did climate scientists would be rich.
Obi-Haiv over 1 year ago
One of my favorite C&H strips of all time.
Angry Indeed over 1 year ago
Maybe paying a dollar entitles you to kick Calvin in the butt?
hagarthehorrible over 1 year ago
Since when Calvin become chiropractor.
eccolibri60 Premium Member over 1 year ago
Give him a dollar and then say “Okay, turn around.”
pixiekitten Premium Member over 1 year ago
He should set up shop outside of Parliament.
gmu328 over 1 year ago
a great product … wish I thought of it – this was a great cartoon when it first and still ranks as one of my favorite – thank you Bill