I recently went to my dermatologist (a compulsive punner) who was removing something on the side of my head. I asked him how deep he planned to go. He responded, “When I strike oil.” I said, “I appreciate it if you would stop before you get to my brain.” He said, “I don’t do microsurgrey.” I looked at his assistant and said, “I walked into that one, didn’t I?” She just nodded.
That’s fake news, Santa. I am a victim of a witch hunt. Crooked Hillary is behind it. Anti-American haters!
We now interrupt our scheduled program Luke’s account of Jesus’ journey to Jerusalem) for this special announcement of the incarnation. Film on the 25th.
He’ll have to pay extra if he wants a seat where the distance between the seat back to the seat in front of him is at least as long the distance between his hip and his knee cap, and extra for an aisle seat, and extra to be seated with his elves and extra for earlier boarding and extra to be allowed a carry-on and extra for his ho-ho-hos.
Then there are the taxes and FEEs (whatever they are).
Welcome to Nickle-and_Dime Airlines, where our CEO’s bonus is worth your inconvenience – KACHING!!!
S o here is the Trump defense:
Trump didn’t do it, but if he did, it was not a crime, but if it is, it’s OK because Biden did it first, but if he didn’t, then it’s not an impeachable offense, but if it is, the Democrats are not using the right process, but if they are, then the Republicans in the Senate will vote to acquit him.
Might makes right! Vote GOP 2020. King Trump Forever!
When my son was a teenager, he would complain about how cold the house was. He was running around in shorts and a T-shirt while the rest of us were bundeld up in our sweats.
Now he complains when his daughters leave the door open too long on a cold day!
Yes, if you live long enough, you get to see your revenge.
My wife is studying to be a Deacon. She’s been through the Bible several times already. We have the most interesting theological discussions but I never challenge her on scripture.
My end of the discussion usually goes like, "Didn’t Jesus say something like …’
It is the truth to the “true believers.”
Remember people, when the facts contradict your theory, call the facts “fake news.”
I had a boss whose handwriting was so bad I swore he went to medical school to study penmanship.
Penmanship – a word that will be obsolete in a generation.