Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 04, 2022

That plan is working so far.

Easy to say.

Chico Marx once said that the best cure for insomnia was a good night’s sleep.

And for petesake don’t dye tied!

W.A. misfired on that one. Everybody already knows about that. The secret is in how not to die.

Oh gee! Thank you Captain Obviass!

that is a wise ass!

Recently, my SiL asked me how I manage to stay so cheerful all the time. “Easy!” I says. “Don’t be sad!”

I wish I knew why it is I can’t stand that ass. But I just can’t, lol.

Big Nate > Pearls Before Swine

Keep breathing as long as you possibly can.

Is Rat okay? If anyone else would tell him something like that, he would use his bat on their head.

It help to get up every day, at least to pee.

Everybody keeps saying that “not dying” is an impossible answer. Nonsense! There have been maybe 108,000,000 people on Earth since modern man evolved. There are just under 8,000,000 people alive now.

That means that, on average, each person has a 7.4% chance of living forever.

I used to kind of like Big Nate. I am a man of not totally peccable taste.But my main reason for posting is this reminds me of a joke that’s been going around. It sounds like something Steve Wright would say, but I dunno:“What’s my big goal these days? To live forever.So far, so good.”

Can’t argue with that!

My father used to work for a funeral director driving a hearse, asked how he was doing he would always say “Still riding in the front”!

WA has been reading Jane Eyre.

However, there’s nothing wrong with dying because no one has complained yet. Well, no one that it happened to, personally.

As obvious as that logic seems, I’ve never heard anybody say that when they interview really old people (100 or older) on the news.

Rat, you only have five years to live, so that advice won’t matter, either way.

how does one not die then…

So far, so good

Works every time.

That’s my strategy…so far its working…

Can’t argue with that….

Holy carpe diem! I never knew it was so easy!

The true secret to living forever is to find a job you hate, a spouse who fights with you constantly and have no hobbies. Every day of your life will last an eternity.

That sounds like an answer I would give.

Can’t argue against that

They climbed THAT hill for THAT answer?

How do you insure not dying Oh Wise Ass?….

Spock: “Logical; flawlessly logical.” Also, well, yeah?!

Easier said than done/

But I’m hoping to be the one/

Who proves that it can/

And so far my plan/

Is visibly second to none.

Finally! The truth! Bored with the questions put to very old people. The why’s.

If I told you I’d have to kill you.

Wasn’t this the comic the other day?

His dung pile just keeps getting taller.

The older I get, the more I realize it’s quality, not quantity of years. Being in a coma in a rest home for years is not the way I want to go.

Can one have impeccable logic while sitting on a peak?

I’m going to live forever…or die trying.

Oh great wise ass on the hill, what is the secret to enjoying comics? “Not reading works by Stephen Pastis” O_O

“Good night and don’t forget to tip your sherpas”

The comments are better than the strip itself, so which came 1st?

Not what certain individuals claim, that’s for real.

Sure his name isn’t Captain Obvious?

But people who live a long life also die.

As it is Rit.

Accept the color of your garments

Do Not Dye

The Wise Ass has degenerated into a banal blowhard. It must be from breathing that thin air up on the mountaintop….

I’m always happy to see the great wise ass is doing good

No one gets outta here alive.

I certainly died a bit reading that.

PBS fans > BN trolls