The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and pondering, “Where the %$#& is my roof?”
I remember having an argument about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in college. My friend ended it by standing up and shouting, “Those! Kids! Are! Dead!”
62% of all pythons are named Monty.*
*87% of all statistics are made up.
Being very specific can make you sound extremely suspicious. “Last night I visited, Karen, who was completely alive when I left at 10:34 PM.”
Cursive had its day. I’m glad you still like it but it’s a waste of time to teach children something with so little use today.
It was years before I finally got the joke.
My dad told us kids to be sure we can clip our fingernails with either hand because someday you might lose a hand, and you’ll still want to be able to clip your fingernails.
The Georgia Guidestones were put up by right-wing nut case, and later blown up by a right-wing nut case. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
I used the Inflation Calculator:
The BLS agrees with you, though.
But I’m not going to apologize because I’m not polite to people who are not polite themselves.
He works all the time. Once you’re married, you’ll hardly see him… but you’ll see a lot of his money.