My mom was a gem: as many as 7 lunches to pack before school each morning and we each got something that was individually tolerable. Jack had to have the ketchup next to the balogna, I hated ketchup and wanted mustard, Molly got cheese instead of balogna (and I got black olives and mayo instead of PB n J)… and so forth for the other kids… and she did it every morning before we left for school. Nice, eh? Of course she was downright strict about finishing the meal… and the homework.
My grandmother used to tell a funny story about a neighbour of theirs on the farm they lived on in the early 1900s. The lady had 19 children and when she asked what they wanted for dinner that night they all said something different. Her solution was to put the whole lot into one very large pot and told them to help themselves. :)
Nowadays, when school is actually AT school, kids can’t bring peanut butter any more, due to food allergies. If they do, they have to sit at a special table.
Adam Newman came up with a better solution and I even tried it and it works. Put PB on BOTH slices of bread and spread the jelly in the middle. He actually did it by accident and was just like “Oh, well.” But then Clayton noticed that his bread wasn’t all soggy. The strip had people making a bigger deal out of it that anyone would in real life. They were even gonna have him on a talk show but then there was someone at the studio that said he’d been doing the same thing for years and I think he ended up being the guest instead.
See, that’s the problem with telling people what to do instead of asking them to do it. However, if you eventually blow up over it they inevitably say “Well, why didn’t you tell me?” Tone of voice is the grease of civil conversation.
I mainly walked home for lunch, but one year I had to take lunch twice a week. Knowing her strange son, Mom packed a pita bread, a piece of lunch meat in a baggie, a piece of colby cheese in a baggie and a little tupper tub of relish. We called relish “Pickle Lilly.” At lunch time, I’d tear the pita in half and pack in the lunch meat, cheese and relish. The other kids that brought their lunches ate peanut butter and said “Tom eats weird sandwiches.” But, before long they asked their moms for pita. For the sake of not being TOO weird and incurring the wrath of teachers on account of my name, I was going by “Tom” not “Tentoes.” Fear not! There were plenty of other things for the teachers to get upset about. “Tom, put that away, sit still and pay attention!” Sit still and pay attention was not possible and it helped to have something in my hand.
Easy solution: Put PB on both slices of bread, then the jam in the middle. The PB acts as a non-permeable barrier due to the oil, and the bread doesn’t sog. Done and done.
We had hot lunch at grade school. $1.25/wk High school was buy your lunch usually a $2.00/day or bring your own. Mom never made ours. We had to do it ourselves and make Dad’s lunch! 7 kids and no one ever went hungry.
My father did the same all the time. Boy, how much I hated that kind of sandwiches. Most of the time they ended up in the trashcan. “First world problem”, and “Why didn’t you make your own sandwiches” comments hit me!
Anyone else remember bringing their whatever meat sandwich to school, storing it in your locker and eating it several hours later and never getting sick?
As it turns out – this is a real problem. My solution was to put peanut butter on both pieces of bread with a slight ridge at the end of the bread – but a thin one. Then add the jam so it is trapped between layers of peanut butter. Since they don’t actually mix, it prevents the jam from soaking the bread. Then I cut the sandwich diagonally so that my step daughter could hold and squeeze along the crust as she bit into it to prevent the jelly from squirting out. … What overthink things? Why would you say that?
My response would have been, OK you don’t like the jelly, you get PB without the J. If that got the expected whine, fine, next day make your own, but you still have to catch the bus, so you’ll have to get up a half hour earlier.
One April 1st, Mother Baker replace the meat and cheese in my sandwich with cardboard and the greeting “April Fools!” Needless to say, I was not amused. And, hungry.
At school lunch until Jr Hi. Skipped it and kept the money after that. My only spending money as I got no allowance and my paper route money had to be saved.
I made the mistake of saying something like this to my mother when i was about 9; after which, she never made my lunch again. She just showed me where to find the fixin’s and left me to my own devices.
People think of gluttony as just overeating. THIS is what gluttony really is – obsessing over getting what you want, no matter how much trouble it makes for others.
BE THIS GUY over 3 years ago
Don’t tip her, Calvin.
codycab over 3 years ago
If Calvin went to a restaurant, he’d take the whole place down.
Templo S.U.D. over 3 years ago
and parents are supposed to understand their kids’ picky eating habits… just ask Madeline Otterloop with her son Petey
parforden over 3 years ago
And she’ll do it again and again and again.
Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 3 years ago
You deserve it , Calvin
su43dipta over 3 years ago
You wouldn’t have complained if she made you a lizard brain and newt eyeball sandwich with those middle pieces soaked in brain juice, would you?
Concretionist over 3 years ago
My mom was a gem: as many as 7 lunches to pack before school each morning and we each got something that was individually tolerable. Jack had to have the ketchup next to the balogna, I hated ketchup and wanted mustard, Molly got cheese instead of balogna (and I got black olives and mayo instead of PB n J)… and so forth for the other kids… and she did it every morning before we left for school. Nice, eh? Of course she was downright strict about finishing the meal… and the homework.
JoanHelen over 3 years ago
My grandmother used to tell a funny story about a neighbour of theirs on the farm they lived on in the early 1900s. The lady had 19 children and when she asked what they wanted for dinner that night they all said something different. Her solution was to put the whole lot into one very large pot and told them to help themselves. :)
cracker65 over 3 years ago
I have a sister like Calvin. We went to a restaurant with her, and she was embarrassing. The wait staff hated her.
Charliegirl Premium Member over 3 years ago
Big surprise, Calvin. heh heh heh
LeftCoastKen Premium Member over 3 years ago
I’m SURE it was completely unintentional, Calvin. LOL!!
rshive over 3 years ago
Too much intricate detail, Calvin.
DaveG1960 over 3 years ago
I would say make it yourself, but, knowing the mess he would make….
jagedlo over 3 years ago
He’s grossed out by jelly soaking into bread? Seriously?
PaulAbbott2 over 3 years ago
Good help is hard to find, Cal
ForrestOverin over 3 years ago
And she’ll NOW make a point of doing it that way every time she makes you a sandwich for the rest of eternity.
jonathan over 3 years ago
You put peanut butter on both sides of the bread and the jelly does not soak through.
Wren Fahel over 3 years ago
Nowadays, when school is actually AT school, kids can’t bring peanut butter any more, due to food allergies. If they do, they have to sit at a special table.
posse1 Premium Member over 3 years ago
& cut diagonal, please.
Ralph Newbill over 3 years ago
I agree with Calvin about the end pieces!
redback over 3 years ago
sure thing kid, from now on there will be lettuce between the jelly and the bread so the bread doesn’t soak it
YippiKiAyMofo over 3 years ago
Yes, Calvin. She “got it”. Get it?
bookworm0812 over 3 years ago
Adam Newman came up with a better solution and I even tried it and it works. Put PB on BOTH slices of bread and spread the jelly in the middle. He actually did it by accident and was just like “Oh, well.” But then Clayton noticed that his bread wasn’t all soggy. The strip had people making a bigger deal out of it that anyone would in real life. They were even gonna have him on a talk show but then there was someone at the studio that said he’d been doing the same thing for years and I think he ended up being the guest instead.
A Hip loving Canadian... over 3 years ago
Trusting you with a knife?!?… good one Calvin.
david_42 over 3 years ago
The main grossness I remember from packed lunches was oil-packed tuna with Miracle Whip. One of those things that tasted better than it looked.
Dino_Charger_24 over 3 years ago
Now that was something!
joannesshadow over 3 years ago
Please is not in Calvin’s vocabulary.
33Angel over 3 years ago
I BET she did…!
john over 3 years ago
I thought Calvin liked gross things.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 3 years ago
See, that’s the problem with telling people what to do instead of asking them to do it. However, if you eventually blow up over it they inevitably say “Well, why didn’t you tell me?” Tone of voice is the grease of civil conversation.
Tentoes over 3 years ago
I mainly walked home for lunch, but one year I had to take lunch twice a week. Knowing her strange son, Mom packed a pita bread, a piece of lunch meat in a baggie, a piece of colby cheese in a baggie and a little tupper tub of relish. We called relish “Pickle Lilly.” At lunch time, I’d tear the pita in half and pack in the lunch meat, cheese and relish. The other kids that brought their lunches ate peanut butter and said “Tom eats weird sandwiches.” But, before long they asked their moms for pita. For the sake of not being TOO weird and incurring the wrath of teachers on account of my name, I was going by “Tom” not “Tentoes.” Fear not! There were plenty of other things for the teachers to get upset about. “Tom, put that away, sit still and pay attention!” Sit still and pay attention was not possible and it helped to have something in my hand.
uniquename over 3 years ago
Shades of “When Harry Met Sally”.
jrankin1959 over 3 years ago
For a comic strip, Mom’s pretty subtle…
Mando over 3 years ago
MY DAD IS ANNOYING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! That was very off topic.
WCraft Premium Member over 3 years ago
Well, duh! Did you put anything in the Tip Jar before you took off with your lunch pail?
geekboy_x over 3 years ago
Easy solution: Put PB on both slices of bread, then the jam in the middle. The PB acts as a non-permeable barrier due to the oil, and the bread doesn’t sog. Done and done.
sundogusa over 3 years ago
We had hot lunch at grade school. $1.25/wk High school was buy your lunch usually a $2.00/day or bring your own. Mom never made ours. We had to do it ourselves and make Dad’s lunch! 7 kids and no one ever went hungry.
SweetSinger over 3 years ago
I want what I want the way I want it.
Vangoghdog01 over 3 years ago
When I was Calvin’s age I was very particular about how my eggs were scrambled. I can relate.
dsom8 over 3 years ago
That’s not Calvin in the first 3 panels. He’s calm and reasonable.
BiggerNate91 over 3 years ago
Related strip: https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2018/12/22
Felix Raven Premium Member over 3 years ago
My father did the same all the time. Boy, how much I hated that kind of sandwiches. Most of the time they ended up in the trashcan. “First world problem”, and “Why didn’t you make your own sandwiches” comments hit me!
BalognaVirus over 3 years ago
Anyone else remember bringing their whatever meat sandwich to school, storing it in your locker and eating it several hours later and never getting sick?
VickiP123 over 3 years ago
I believe the correct response is ‘if you don’t like it, make it yourself’.
Numbnumb over 3 years ago
Calvin is such a little TWIT!!
mistercatworks over 3 years ago
If he can spread jam at lunch, he can make his own sandwiches (with supervision).
Thinkingblade over 3 years ago
As it turns out – this is a real problem. My solution was to put peanut butter on both pieces of bread with a slight ridge at the end of the bread – but a thin one. Then add the jam so it is trapped between layers of peanut butter. Since they don’t actually mix, it prevents the jam from soaking the bread. Then I cut the sandwich diagonally so that my step daughter could hold and squeeze along the crust as she bit into it to prevent the jelly from squirting out. … What overthink things? Why would you say that?
Billys mom2022 over 3 years ago
Well Calvin, I suggest you get up 30 min. early to make your own lunch.
ChessPirate over 3 years ago
Mom: “I keep hearing this strange buzzing noise!” ☺
yangeldf over 3 years ago
who puts jelly on untoasted bread? That seems strange to me.
locake over 3 years ago
Kids can’t have knives at school. They would get expelled, even for a plastic knife.
57BelAir over 3 years ago
Jelly’s for toast anyway, not to spoil a good peanut butter sandwich.
gantech over 3 years ago
He must have been watching When Harry Met Sally.
paullp Premium Member over 3 years ago
Another golden oldie:
Tuna sandwich! Tuna sandwich! Everyday for lunch it’s a tuna sandwich!
Why don’t you ask your mom to make you something else?
That wouldn’t help, I make my own sandwich.
billdaviswords over 3 years ago
Not a kid in the world who prefers the crust or the ends of a loaf.
raybarb44 over 3 years ago
or you could make your own sandwich in the morning before school…
Stephen Gilberg over 3 years ago
Eating only the heels makes you a heel.
hagarthehorrible over 3 years ago
That much instructions do not work with moms.
Nuke Road Warrior over 3 years ago
My response would have been, OK you don’t like the jelly, you get PB without the J. If that got the expected whine, fine, next day make your own, but you still have to catch the bus, so you’ll have to get up a half hour earlier.
DCBakerEsq over 3 years ago
One April 1st, Mother Baker replace the meat and cheese in my sandwich with cardboard and the greeting “April Fools!” Needless to say, I was not amused. And, hungry.
Spacetech over 3 years ago
Simply spread butter before you put down the jelly. No soak
boydjb47 over 3 years ago
At school lunch until Jr Hi. Skipped it and kept the money after that. My only spending money as I got no allowance and my paper route money had to be saved.
AllieLin over 3 years ago
Hello
AllieLin over 3 years ago
Lol
STACEY MARSHALL Premium Member over 3 years ago
PB&J sandwich: when packing for lunch, make sure the PB side is down, to lower the rate of jelly soaking into the bread.
theincrediblebulk over 3 years ago
And please cut the sandwich into right angle triangles, remove the crusts lightly toast the bread for 22.5 seconds.
Sailor46 USN 65-95 over 3 years ago
I have found when I tried to tell the cook how to cook, I became the cook.
pamela welch Premium Member over 3 years ago
I made the mistake of saying something like this to my mother when i was about 9; after which, she never made my lunch again. She just showed me where to find the fixin’s and left me to my own devices.
Will_Scarlet over 3 years ago
People think of gluttony as just overeating. THIS is what gluttony really is – obsessing over getting what you want, no matter how much trouble it makes for others.