Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 14, 2020

North by Northwest

There are totally sixty nine different orientations.

I face the moon.

I like to look upward so I can see the clock.

Missionary?

I lie on my back with no clothes on, so I can be a sundial.

if you’re having a romance towards the west, would it be your sexual occidentation?

I am so putting in “east” next time I have to answer that question

“south by southwest” is, of course, the name of a famous music festival

If you orient using Feng shui the outcome will be more harmonious.

Actually most Feng shui instructions for bed placement are focused on good sleep and prosperity. Sexual orientations appear to be secondary.

A swinger, eh?

Why would someone put that on a form? Is this snail mail dating?

i’d put down ‘positive’…

I’m married. I’d have to say non-sexual.

What’s Austin got to do with it?

Interesting visuals. I’m overwhelmed, lol.

Those north facers are truly decadent…

Orient-ation? Japan? China maybe?

I didn’t attend the orientation class.

Don’t say face-east you might be considered a drumpf supporter"

The Orient is considered the Far East.

Face east? Is Pig Muslim?

If Pig faces west, would that be sexual occidentation?

Remember to practice social distancing

South of de boarder, down Mexico’s way…

North… definitely the frozen tundra…

I can’t believe no one has mentioned… When the form asks sex… I always put “Yes please”…

Pig has a girlfriend, so he’s straight.

This is the wittiest thing I have read here in a while

I’m lost ??

Pig has sex?

Horizontal usually for me.

Sexual orientation? Ask my wife …

Besides, at 76, I’m grateful that I can still get oriented!

Orientation should have a variety of activities in which to become more involved!

Some “Minnesota Nice” from Prince: “Gett off, 23 positions in a one night stand – Gett off, I’ll only call you after if you say I can – Gett off, let a woman be a woman and a man be a man.”

Now I finally understand what the “Q” stands for.

I’d hazard a guess that there is a lot of sex at “South By Southwest.”

Pig can’t follow directions.

I’m human. I don’t know who needs to know more than that.

Doggy style, so you can both watch tv!

My sexual orientation is as frequent and as freaky as possible. TMI?

Given it’s a corkscrew, it depends

I’m fascinated with steam locomotives. Does that make me trains-gendered?

Rat had one of the best comments that I’ve ever read in a comic.

I think a censor somewhere got a brain cramp over this one.

That question is illegal, except for high class ‘dates.’

Best comments ever, in any strip.

I just say “on top”.

“There are men who love women who love men,

And women who love women every now and then;

There are men who love men, because they can’t pretend

They are men who love women who love men."

—R.I.P. Steve Goodman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O2AmgrJ0tY

My sexual orientation is straightforward…I am trysexual. i will try anything with anyone at least twice. I want to be sure i don’t like something before I give up on the activity.

I would skip it or write yes. I skip race, too. I hate forms these days. I know who I am.

What about South by Northeast?

You know you have been working with computers too long when you walk into a bar, and someone comes over to you and asks your orientation.

And you say “portrait”.

At first I thought this was a reference to the 1959 film North by Northwest starring Cary Grant, but as it turns out it is referring to “SXSW and colloquially referred to as South By, is an annual conglomeration of parallel film, interactive media, and music festivals and conferences organized jointly that take place in mid-March in Austin, Texas, United States.”

Just be careful to not get a East infection.

And on the solstice he makes a full 360 degree turn around the compass.

God, today’s strip gave me an extremely badly needed laugh.

Obviously – North By Northwest ala Cary Grant.

I’m 39 1/2 and still have my “V” card, so…same, I suppose.

“Usually lying down in bed.”

“How do I describe my attraction to the stool I’m sitting on?”

“East” is my answer from now on!

Just so long as you get to do “it”! You’re a better man than I, Pig….

East is a very fitting sexual orientation for Pig.