What the -- how did I get here?! Where am I!?
She’s a pro bono unpaid volunteer worker.
Me too. Or I’ll find the milk in the microwave.
Either I have gremlins, or early onset dementia. I’m hoping it’s both so I’ll have someone else to drive crazy.
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s 5:25 in the morning and I have some vacuuming to do.
I was one mistaken for Tom Selleck.
I had to pay money for it, but I stiffed the guy, so it all worked out in the end.
I didn’t write it, I just found it on the innernits.
My mother calls hers a personal PIN information number.
Or wait, maybe it was personal information PIN number
Rats! I can’t remember which was it went now!
But the point is…uh…I forget that too.
I used to pull impractical jokes, but it eventually became unfeasible.
Luckily, no one has ever loved me more than at the moment they met me.
It’s alllllllll downhill from there, ladies!
…unless he eats the shark.
“Gather ‘round people as fast as you can
“I’m gonna tell another story ‘bout an animal called man
“Well, he struts all around with his tailor made suits
“But his mind is all filled up with bull****”
And here I thought they just sat there on the floor.
Guess mine is old school. The seat even hurts to sit on and everything.