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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 11, 2019

188 Comments

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 2 months ago

    Kale at dawn — isn’t that a punishment in Hell?

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    gocomics  2 months ago

    Interestingly, almost all the data on “junk food” being “bad for you” is correlative, not causative. Most people who try to lose weight gain it right back, as if there’s a “natural weight” people have that has nothing to do with what doctors tell us is the “correct” weight. Pig’s comment may be deeper than it seems: not only do we not know how long we’ll live, it may even be that “eating healthy” doesn’t really extend our life at all.

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    juncarlo  2 months ago

    Why have a long life if one can not enjoy certain pleasures? And among those pleasures are food and drink.

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    ChristineFoxdale  2 months ago

    I’m not sure which is worse — drinking kale, or rising at dawn. You got it right, Pig.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 2 months ago

    Jef, I wish you a long deprived life. But you may go out and get killed in an accident after drinking your kale. What a last meal.

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    oldpine52  2 months ago

    It doesn’t make any difference what you eat, you’re going to die in the end.

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    wldhrsy2luv  2 months ago

    Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

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    Bilan  2 months ago

    Exercise is great … as long as it occurs after you wake up at noon.

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    GROG Premium Member 2 months ago

    No, it isn’t.

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    dadoctah  2 months ago

    Drinking kale will extend your life by six years. The question now is how much do you want six more years of drinking kale.

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    SquawkTron  2 months ago

    Don’t listen to him, Pig, you’re living the good life.

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    Seth Baldwin  2 months ago

    Now I want chili cheese fries. I hope Stephen is getting sponsorship money from Hormel and Kraft.

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    cdgar  2 months ago

    Life is to be enjoyed. It’s quality is so much more important than it’s quantity.

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    PokemonFan91  2 months ago

    My least favourite character in this strip is the guy insulting Pig. I loathe sports

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    Troglodyte  2 months ago

    Never knew drinking kale results in talking crap… live and learn!

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member 2 months ago

    I ride my bike to get to the hamburger places.

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    Radish Premium Member 2 months ago

    4:20 comes round twice a day, just saying…

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    EdMeiller Premium Member 2 months ago

    To each his/her own.

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    EcurbYkspohs  2 months ago

    Cheese covered Zebra ! … Croc Power !

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    Masterskrain Premium Member 2 months ago

    What is this “Dawn” of which you speak, Jef the jerk?

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    tripwire45  2 months ago

    I often rise well before dawn, but it’s not by choice.

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    mommadillo  2 months ago

    Jef the Cyclist won’t actually live longer than other people – it will just seem a lot longer.

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    Brass Orchid Premium Member 2 months ago

    Inscribe that on my urn, that I wasted my life in enjoying it.

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    wllilly1960  2 months ago

    …Is there a Jef action figure?

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    TheWildSow  2 months ago

    Jef’s getting Moobs. Steroid side-effect?

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    cdward  2 months ago

    I rise at dawn because that’s what my does naturally. And I love that time of day most of all. Drinking kale would not add joy. That’s what coffee is for.

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    GeifuKe  2 months ago

    Hey, Jef the Cyclist, Go to Kale. From Geoff the Sardonic PUNisher.

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    azzir  2 months ago

    Well, I like chili cheese fries AND kale. “I may be going to hell in a bucket, but at least I’m enjoying the ride.”

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    GeifuKe  2 months ago

    Actually, I am kind of surprised Pig did not make a meal of Jef the Cyclist. Pigs have been known to feed off people on occasion.

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    GeifuKe  2 months ago

    I want a Chili cheese fries, Serrano Onion Rings, and a Habanero Orange Drink, please….

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    aerotica69  2 months ago

    When I rise to power, people like Jef the cyclist will be sterilized.

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    GeifuKe  2 months ago

    Just another thought. 45 years ago, a band by the name of ACE had a hit called “How Long (Has This Been Going On)”, written and sung by Paul Carrack. With that in mind, I was thinking of calling this new song, “How Long They’re Gonna Live Jef” and singing it to the same beat as the ACE song with the lyrics being all of the lines in this strip. And then some.

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    Emmett Wayne  2 months ago

    1 Timothy 4:8 Look it up.

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    MS72  2 months ago

    Jef will likely die on the road, some SUV will mow him down.

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    RussHeim  2 months ago

    Waking up at the butt crack of dawn isn’t so bad. It means you can take your mid-day nap earlier.

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    SusieB  2 months ago

    Gotta agree with Pig on this one

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    Pickled Pete  2 months ago

    " Junk like that will take ten years off your life"

    How will I know ?

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    Zebrastripes  2 months ago
    PIG! Is sticking to his guns! Phooey! I don’t want to drink kale when I can have chili cheese fries? Yum yum yum
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    rmercer Premium Member 2 months ago

    I’ve always wondered whether Pastis got run over by a bicycle as a child, or something.

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    enigmamz  2 months ago

    10 years I DON’T have to spend in a nursing home? WIN!!!!!!!

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    bartman666  2 months ago

    Or pureed eggplant ! Yum !

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    stevej Premium Member 2 months ago

    Guy goes to the doctor.

    Doctor says “If you give up smoking, drinking, running around with women, and start eating healthy, you’ll live to be 100”.

    Guy says “If I do all of those things, why would I want to live to be 100”.

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    JudyAz  2 months ago

    Sounds like Pig would love poutine!

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    chinagrove  2 months ago

    Don’t worry Pig…Jef just inhaled too much auto fumes!

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    garcoa  2 months ago

    Jef gets up at dawn so he can do his 100 mile fun bike ride before lunch.

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    MarkGardner1  2 months ago

    News flash! Jef is gonna die too…

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    MeGoNow Premium Member 2 months ago

    Six hours later, Jeff was killed when the driver of the bus beside him sneezed. With his last breath, he whispered, “chhh eee sss eee f f f r r r i i i e e e ss s s”

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    GeraldLawhorn  2 months ago

    Can we get an amen……for a lot of us, it’s raining, so time to stop saving up

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    randy.m.wagner  2 months ago

    U.S. Olympic cyclist Kelly Catlin found dead in her Stanford residence at age 23.https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/u-s-olympic-cyclist-kelly-catlin-found-dead-her-home-n981591

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    Plods  Premium Member 2 months ago

    Too bad he can’t grow a beard. Then we could make fun of his hipsterism too

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 2 months ago

    Hey, Jef, go cycle off a cliff

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    Nuliajuk  2 months ago

    I don’t know any keen cyclists who are diet fanatics. Just the other way around – they tend to inhale anything that isn’t nailed down after a long ride.

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    HatersGonnaHate,thereaderformallyknownas"s8901064"  2 months ago

    Jef the cyclist suxxxxxxx

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    DCBakerEsq  2 months ago

    The Devil’s greatest trick was convincing Mankind to eat kale.

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    B UTTONS  2 months ago

    Living life, enjoying the simple and complex, in moderation is the most sensible approach – many fitness gurus who stuck to a rigid regiment died early in life.

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    k_aplin  2 months ago

    what a dweeb – glad they wear costumes to give us fair warning

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    tinner2000  2 months ago

    Give me the fries,the kale wold make me puke for 2 hours!

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    NobodyAwesome Premium Member 2 months ago

    The way some of the cyclist ride on the roads makes me feel that they don’t care about long life, or believe that kale makes them invincible. The cyclists will make turns (left and right) without giving any signal, slow down randomly, or just sail through red light. And groups of cyclists are even worse. They are quite rude and obnoxious to other vehicles & pedestrians on the road.

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    willie_mctell  2 months ago

    Jim Fixx, one of the earliest big names in jogging, died of a heart attack in early middle age. Adelle Davis, health food superstar, said “I never knew anyone who drank a quart of milk a day to die of cancer.” Enter dramatic irony.

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    cmforzetting  2 months ago

    Sheriff Bart: “If you keep drinking like that, you’re gonna die!”

    Waco Kid: “When?”

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    JohnE.Jablonski  2 months ago

    LOL. I totally get why Scott Adams like this strip.

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    Bookworm  2 months ago

    “Rising at dawn to drink kale,” indeed!

    I’m with Pig on this one. Once Mark Twain was convinced to give up his beloved cigars after being told he would shorten his life ten years by smoking. He later remarked, “at the end of two hours, I was convinced that the decade wouldn’t be worth living without any smoking in it. So I gave thanks and resumed these delicacies yet again.” On another occasion, he added, “If there’s no smoking in Heaven, I shall not stay there.”

    I am not advocating smoking. But the sentiment is the same for all those people out there who would deprive you of any happiness and replace it with dreariness. “Rising at dawn to drink kale,” indeed!

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    zeexenon  2 months ago

    Dawn? Pfft! I got up at 3 AM every day, ran 5-miles, cleaned up, had breakfast made the 40-minute commute to get to work before my subordinates in time to kick ass and take names. And my routes were uphill both ways.

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    Concretionist  2 months ago

    Bicycle Guy’s stripe makes him look like a cardboard cutout.

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    Dippy  2 months ago

    Mmmmm. Kale juice.

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    katzenbooks45  2 months ago

    Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

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    edbos1_1  2 months ago

    If you rise at dawn and drink kale, you might not live longer, but it will seem like it!

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    The Brooklyn Accent  2 months ago

    I’ve found kale to be edible, if cooked to within an inch of its life and covered with chili and cheese.

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    pchemcat  2 months ago

    I am with you Pig. Life is uncertain, grab as much joy out of it as you can for as long as you can. There are too many “Jefs” out there whose only joy is denigrating others.

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    whelan_jj  2 months ago

    I’d rather enjoy a short life than be miserable in a long one.

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    Sisyphos  2 months ago

    Let me put this gently (since we know Jef the Cyclist is in RL a friend of Cartoon-Boy). Jef the Cyclist, you are crazy….

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    neatslob Premium Member 2 months ago

    Rising at dawn to drink kale means you’re actually still asleep and having a nightmare.

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    eddi_tbh  2 months ago

    Team Pig.

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    jonesbeltone  2 months ago

    Kale helps me clear my tubes.

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    litchick32  2 months ago

    I agree with Pig

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    chromosome Premium Member 2 months ago

    I think the Buddhists have it right… moderation. I find a life with some exercise, some goofing off, some kale and some chocolate quite satisfying.

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