Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 23, 2018

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    BE THIS GUY  about 6 years ago

    Eavesdropping is very rude and offensive.

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    Wilde Bill  about 6 years ago

    I find the fact that you have no mouth offensive.

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    Adiraiju  about 6 years ago

    My favorite incident of that type was when I was telling some friends about the evil Navajo spirit named “He-who-kicks-people-off-cliffs”, or Tse’tahotsilta’li. Someone else overheard and gave me an earful, assuming I’d made the name up. I hadn’t…

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    alaskajohn1  about 6 years ago

    Shades of You Bet Your Life with Groucho Marx : Say the “Secret Word”.

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    AtariDragon  about 6 years ago

    If he’s related to Li’l Guard Duck, I’d advise against troubling him too much.

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    ND Cool Z  about 6 years ago

    Is that Guard Duck? No it can’t be, because Guard Duck has never learned to fly.

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    chris_weaver  about 6 years ago

    “Don’t stand underneath when they fly by” – Tom Lehrer, in a different context.

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 6 years ago

    Pig knows enough to turn around and check after the second “that’s offensive.” Then he’s thoughtful enough to warn the others before he hits the deck. You couldn’t ask for a better roomie.

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    Bilan  about 6 years ago

    I’m still trying to figure out what’s offensive about the No One Cares Duck.

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    dadoctah  about 6 years ago

    You’re going to need a lot more than just one duck.

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    blunebottle  about 6 years ago

    Where can I buy me one of those?

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    Alexander the Good Enough  about 6 years ago

    Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: ONE!! And it’s NOT FUNNY!!!

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    derdave969  about 6 years ago

    Finally! We have a useful application for drones!

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    bbbmorrell  about 6 years ago

    I really want one of those.

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    mattro65  about 6 years ago

    The duck would be more effective if it did give a poop-right on her head. Although I understand the sensitivities of some people and do avoid some inflammatory language I also recommend the “In one ear and out the other” philosophy.

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    Masterskrain  about 6 years ago

    Maura? She came back???

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    Plods with ...™  about 6 years ago

    Oh for cryin’….

    Where the heck is panel 4??

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    skipper1992  about 6 years ago

    I’m an amputee and had a teacher in seventh grade who, on April Fools Day, was sanctimoniously offended on my behalf by comments about me wearing my leg backward. And then I came in wearing my leg backward, and he got even more sanctimoniously offended and told me to fix it. He actually called home to talk to my mother about it. My mother … once she was done laughing … told him to lighten up.

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    aimlesscruzr  about 6 years ago

    If I say something that offends you and not another, that proves that “offense” is subjective, and therefore a personal choice. Frankly, it’s not my business who is offended, and I have made the personal choice not to care. It’s not my responsibility to manage anyone’s emotions other than my own.

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    Willywise52 Premium Member about 6 years ago

    No one gives a duck.

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  21. It  s a gas station    by todd sullest
    Max Starman Jones  about 6 years ago

    This past week, an Astros commentator, during a game, talked about the slider. He had been a ball player himself, and talked about how horrible the slider had been to him. “If I could go back in history and change one think, I would skip right past slavery, and get rid of the slider.”

    He is an African-American, who has making a joke, that’s all, using a form of ironic hyperbole to explain his hatred for the slider. Did anyone take him seriously?

    The woman in the panel above. White liberals, most of whom, I am sure, have never watched or listened to a baseball game, picked up on this, and demanded an apology for this “horribly racist” comment.

    The announcer obliged. An African-American submitted to white people and apologized for a joke.

    Somewhere, Jackie Robinson is shaking his head and laughing.

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  22. It  s a gas station    by todd sullest
    Max Starman Jones  about 6 years ago

    Sorry for the spelling errors: * “thing,” not “think,” and *"was," not “has.”

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    TurbosDad  about 6 years ago

    I have learned that we would care less what people think about us if we really knew how little they do…

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    !!ǝlɐ⅁ Premium Member about 6 years ago

    Oh, the next fly-by should be primed with duxatives.

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    BiathlonNut  about 6 years ago

    As I said before, when someone says to me that they are offended, I reply, “That’s your problem.”

    When I was working in IT at a certain university, a secretary needed to connect a peripheral to her computer but the interfaces did not match. I told her we needed a “gender changer” and went off to collect the part. After placing the package that was plainly labelled “Gender Changer” on her desk I found out that in the meantime she had lodged a complaint against me with the university authorities.

    Anybody or any group that does not have a sense of humour is dangerous.

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    WCraft Premium Member about 6 years ago

    More sad than funny. Happens all to often today.

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    Gent  about 6 years ago

    So, if I eat that duck, no one cares, right?

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    Gent  about 6 years ago

    What we need is the Shut Up and Get Lost Duck.

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    Bookworm  about 6 years ago

    My favorite comeback is “I didn’t mean to offend you. That was just a bonus.” Said with sincerity and a broad smile, it totally confuses the offendee. I didn’t make it up. It was on a tee-shirt a good friend gave me.

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    eladee AKA Wally  about 6 years ago

    We’re gonna need a LOT more ducks!!!!!!!!!

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    Coyoty Premium Member about 6 years ago

    The duck has a trigger trigger.

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    mantydad  about 6 years ago

    Finally a good use for the AFLAC duck!!

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    joefearsnothing  about 6 years ago

    Being offended seems to be the thing today! I hope it’s just a fad!

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    John W. Vinson Premium Member about 6 years ago

    Somebody needs to come up with a cure for Offense Kleptomania.

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    DarthRevan  about 6 years ago

    The “incoming” is guard duck with a rocket launcher, firing missioes labeled “Nobody cares”

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    B UTTONS  about 6 years ago

    Who cares? Enter “BBQ Becky” and her supercharged phone.

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    AwelCruiz  about 6 years ago

    Coming up next, the “Mind Your Own Business” duck.

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    17bsch  about 6 years ago

    I miss Guard Duck!

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    cdward  about 6 years ago

    Dang Pastis. Why you so easily offended by people who are offended? I guess nobody cares.

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    SomeOtherGocomicsGuy  about 6 years ago

    16 years and he STILL cant draw- Rat

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    Zepp Jamieson Premium Member about 6 years ago

    “…and a large number of ducks were not given that day…”

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    Aladar30 Premium Member about 6 years ago

    This is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

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    Sisyphos  about 6 years ago

    A whole flock of them! Please! More! We need those ducks so much!

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    Teto85 Premium Member about 6 years ago

    You’re offended? I’m offended that you’re offended.

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    This Guy(Am I Right?)  about 6 years ago

    Anyone notice the Bob Dylan reference?

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    TwilightFaze  about 6 years ago

    “You offended me.” My response: “Tell your therapist.”

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    glowing-steak32  about 6 years ago

    Is Freddie Mercury involved?

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    tad1  about 6 years ago

    I usually try to avoid offending people. If being considerate of other people’s ,feelings is wrong, I sure as heck don’t want to be right!

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    gammaguy  about 6 years ago

    I’m not offended. I’m on-ended.

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    Ragnar Premium Member about 6 years ago

    If someone were to post this comic on a wall at a college campus, there would no doubt be all sorts of demonstrations, sit-ins, and an investigation into who could disseminate such a terrible, insensitive comic strip. The college President would be asked (no, ordered) to resign, and there would be much caterwauling and calls for play-doh. It would be great.

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    SuperCharged5-  over 2 years ago

    don’t be offended by something that is not related to or directed at you

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    Squirrel Chaser  about 2 years ago

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