Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 02, 2020

near perfection

This reminds me, I have to delete a few things before my interview next week.

Nothing gets completely deleted on the Internet!

He should claim it was the only place he could book a close down Sea World rally.

Did Rat post the video or was it posted by one of his “friends”?

If Rat is the best candidate, what were the other candidates doing at Hooters??

I’ll give you four nickels for paradigms.

Thank the gods social media had not been invented when I was in university — I would have ended up in a cell, padded or otherwise. And my drinking buddies were worse.

It’s quite simple, really; he was at a party to celebrate his favorite movie, and trying to dance like a whale would.

rats just wanna have fun…

But that happened 10 hours ago!

The good news is that it’s going to look strange in a few years if you don’t have such videos floating around. I’d rather work with someone who knew how to let their hair down occasionally anyway.

Those words work better with Dogbert .

No, we can’t uninvent it, but we don’t have to use it. I quit Facebook in October 2018, and I don’t miss it.

Rat you don’t need a necktie to be a Beer Taste Tester ! … Croc Power !

It’s not social media’s fault if you make poor decisions.

Oddly enough, they would probably find someone like myself, with no Facebook or Twitter account, to be even more suspect. No social media presence? What’s he trying to hide?

Sorry, but a paradigm is STILL worth less then a quarter…

On my very short bucket list is to just once go to a Hooters (cuz I heard the wings are good there), but my wife always says no.

Uhh, I was just trying to shift my paradigm?

Rat’s meaningless phrases would work well if he were being interviewed by Dilbert in today’s comic.

I was wondering what corporate experience Rat has. From the video, we know he has corporeal experience.

And based on his out of work actions, he doesn’t get the job and or is fired. WRONG!

“Yes, its a little something called ‘having fun.’ Ever heard of it?”

Even better than uniniventing social media – Let’s uninvent corporate jargon.

Buzzwords-R-Us.

Corporate synergy. It’s really getting out of hand. Thank God, Disney maxed out their limit of hostile takeovers.

Rat would fit in well in the corporation. Most of them are rats anyway.

I good way to get fired in corporate America is to insist the the company follow the corporate values statement. I speak from experience.

He’s obviously Over Qualified for that Snake Oil Corporation.

I dare you all to find compromising videos of me online. Triple dog dare.

Free Willy okay. Free THE Willy not so okay.

Somewhere out there on Facebook is a video of me dancing on stage with a drag queen. I know, because I tagged myself on it. All I can find on a quick search is the still picture https://tinyurl.com/tfdhmpl

Public schools are now teaching kids online safety which includes not posting stuff that will be problematic later. Some kids have lost scholarships for things they posted.

Sometimes you need to dance as if no one is watching…

I feel your pain, brother Rat.

During my 35 years of teaching social media made it ugly presence known. Students began to share “special/private” photos with each other. Slowly, after breakups, said pictures were sometimes exposed to a wider media platform. I would warm the next “generation” of students establishing a footprint that would follow them for the rest of their lives.I read about a woman who went upon a college beach vacation. While drunk she joined a gaggle of other girls to flash the camera. That ended up on a girls gone wild video. Now over 15 years later she still had to deal with some consequences of that one foolish act….

I’ve just bought a new camera with Wi-Fi/Bluetooth connectivity. Now I worry where my pictures might turn up…

Rat has mastered CorporateSpeak buzzwords! So, hire him. Who cares if he does a PeeWee Herman at Hooters?

Don’t worry. There are a few other things we also can’t uninvent that could put an end to social media — along with everything else.

The problem usually isn’t social media, but stupidity.

Buzzword of the day: unvent.

I would actually favor un-inventing social media. (He says right here in the comments section). But I’m pretty sure that particular Pandora’s problem is irretrievable.

It does mean that Democrat candidates for high public office must now be lucky as well as offering voters something positive, because one thing that social media has done is make youthful errors and lapses embarrassingly public… and permanent. Which means that only luck will prevent any particular episode from appearing in “Most embarrassing videos of the year” or some such.

Republican candidates, of course, have no such requirement. It’s obvious from the last couple of elections that Trumpist voters don’t give a rip about such things.

I’m on it, rat. But can D&DBeyond stay around?

I would hire rat