Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 13, 2019

It would help if Pig read the assignment.

I’m thinking that if Rat took that class, he’d mistake Cervantes for cerveza.

Alexander Pushkin, poet and author, unsuccessful duelist. That should get you a pass, Pig.

That’s a very open-ended question.

“Nothing. And that’s the correct answer.”

That question would also be tough for the smart kid — he could write pages and pages.

It would help if Pig learned to speak properly. Then he’d be able to hear the difference between “Pushk I n” and “pushk E n”.

What Vladmir Putin dared Trump during their first meeting. Putin took off his shirt and said: push skin

Don’t worry, Pig. Before the next quiz on a Russian author, just “Gogol” him.

Pig knows even less about Warren Peace!

Pushkin. Wasn’t that one of Beatrix Potter’s characters?

My brothers were blocking my path again, so I had to push kin out of the way.

How did you pass a reading class?

Frankly, I like Pig’s version better. :D

Did he mean the Puppet Master?

Pig probably thought it was supposed to be a fast class. You know, Rushin’ Lit.

Well… there’s all that darn reading, for one thing…

Oh Pig, you’re such a card.

He should get some points for that response. Not easy to think those things up. Just ask Stephan.

Oh, I know this! In a James Bond film. Fat Russian. Had a girlfriend played the cello.

And then she Chekhov him off her list.

“It’s so difficult to dump your boyfriend. He keeps floating back up to the top.”

Who is someone who has never been in my kitchen?

A Puskin lead to a shove.

I think that was an episode of Forensic Files.

?Wait, What?!…..Pigs IN a class?!

Dostoyevsky. Now, say it three times really fast.

I would’ve flunked that class, too. I thought it said ‘Push Pin’, lol.

Wrong spelling of “kin” (he used “Ken”). Now if it would’ve read: “Barbie hated her family so she decided to push kin off of a cliff” it would’ve worked better.

This is SO obvious…and funny, too!

Pig me thinks you need a hearing test ! ;-) … Croc Power !

Keep Stalin like that and you’ll get poor Marx…

Pig has been having Larry tutor him for this class.

Is this a racist-like comment on southpaws? My dear brother is one and he only pushed me off a cliff once. Ken

Barbie ran off with GI Joe years ago.

Russian Lit?!?!? Oh please, Classical Lit was bad enough, but at least that class had fun monsters in it. Besides, one can get a job in retail (Starbucks, McD, Taco Bell, etc) without wasting money and loans on a useless LAS degree that would include that class and yield a degree that will earn no money.

Ya think?

pushkin is the opposite of pullkin…

I kinda know how “Pig” feels…On my first day of Algebra class the teacher told us “Let X equal the unknown” !“X” succeeded and remained unknown ( to me ) that entire semester.

Pig rhymes pen and pin, ken and kin. Just like I do… unlike all my ken KIN, I meant kin who always give me considerable static.

Do not confuse Pushkin with Foreskin. Fo-res-kin – accent on the “res” , that is !

Blame it on Cartoon-Boy, Pig. We all know that he wrote your atrocious pun….