Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 03, 2023

Just bash him with the club

God: Noah, how goes the ark?

Noah: Pretty good. I am exhausted, but I think I’m finally all done.

God: Not quite – the two rhinos you brought on your ark, they are both male.

Noah: I followed your command. I spent years building this here ark. I spent weeks filling it, and I am tired, god. So you know what, you want a girl rhino? You change it! You’re god, You can do anything!

God: Noah?

Noah: Yes, God?

God: How long can you tread water, Noah?

“So far I’ve loaded in two tigers, two antelope, two rabbits, and two chickens. So what do I have? Two tigers. Crap!”

Were there more human races before the flood? Maybe green people, Leprechauns, and Gnomes.

Boy is he going to be surprised!

Neanderthals make good bear food.

So silly…..

Once, there were two Wiley Bears (now how many?!)

Those bears can’t wait to welcome the new passengers!!

Those bears don’t see Neanderthal either. They see lunch.

They were left behind with the Unicorns, sigh!!

this is a joke right? lol you do all know that the neanderthal were not wiped out, they were assimilated!

The crap people believe beggars belief.

Shades of “A dictatorship on the door but a democracy on the dance floor” (Studio 54) – Andy Warhol

Strange that so many people are ready to jump on a story from the Bible that has a morale base to it, i.e. the sins of man being punished by wiping out all the sinners leaving the righteous to survive, but no one ever jumps on stories from Aesop which have the same moral teaching.

“And it makes no difference that you’re Republicans!”

Unfortunately, the Neanderthals did get on board as we now have a proliferation of them!

… or a Gatekeeper.

Eh, we all have a little Neanderthal in us.

Yay! At least the Wiley bears made the cut!

But, with that hole so low on the side of the ark, I am afraid that it won’t stay afloat for very long.

If there was only one doorman, why are there so many of them now???

And then the guy clobbers him with his club, and Neanderthal DNA is guaranteed a spot in our DNA.

Hey look! Its John Fetterman and Nancy Pelosi!

Isn’t there something in genetics about recommending a diverse gene pool? Starting with only one pair of each species, maybe that explains a few things.

Slip the bouncer a couple Denarius

Might have let one on board. After all, someone had to change the paper and empty the litter boxes.

And his name was Darwin.

The bears are in.

Huh. 55 comments and no, “The earth is only 6000 years old.”, crowd.

As consolidation, the Neanderthals got to ride the unicorns that Noah just can’t find.

Noah found out it was a mistake to admit the two termites

Looks to me like the bears are waiting for a pre-historic snack!

Pretty sure neanderthals weren’t around by the time the arc was finished

I see the bears in the background looking quite excited..

But the Wiley Bears are there!!!!

Slip him a couple of $50s Ugg, that will miraculously add you to the list!

Oh they got on the ark alright. But the bears ate them and that is why we have no neanderthals.

Putting the door below the water line is not a good idea.

The whole point was to not admit any relatives of the boss.

I don’t think anyone who believes in the Great Flood can or will answer these questions. Where did all the water come from and where did it go ? Devine miracle ? Giant sponge ? Any reasonable answer accepted.

Nothing is more humiliating than being laughed at by bears and bunnies.

Ha! You can’t stay but you’re invited for dinner.

Gatekeepers are usu female…

Interesting explanation, but not possible. They disappeared about 30,000 years ago, which is at least 5 times longer ago than the beginning of the creation. Totally illogical.

….. no offense.

Ba dum bum, chhhhh!

How did they see on the ark at night, you ask?

Did they have Floodlights? Actually, they were Israelites.

Let them in, the bears need to eat.

Is there an arc to this story? (>ᴗ•)

Trying to explain both the demise of Neanderthals and the biblical flood narrative. Doesn’t work.

The myth of the Great Flood as told in Genesis has a genesis that goes back to pre-Biblical times, and appears in different forms in many ancient cultures. Here’s a good summary: https://time.Com/44631/noah-christians-flood-aronofsky/

I used to worry about all the birds that had to keep flying until the flood waters receded. They must have been exhausted. (and where did all that water go?) Creatures of the sea just kept swimming.

That parchment roll is WAY too short. And those rabbits just aren’t gonna last …

bears would have appreciated them…