Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 20, 2019

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    BE THIS GUY  over 2 years ago

    Pig had been waiting for that opening for a long time.

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    Wilde Bill  over 2 years ago

    That gave me a warm feeling. Am I wrong?

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    garcoa  over 2 years ago

    Looks more like tell and show.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    “I also want to know, roughly what do we pay for electricity?” WHAM “And water?” WHAM<CRACK

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    B UTTONS  over 2 years ago

    Pig has been interning with Guido the local loan shark muscle. Rat is lucky not to be left with busted knees.

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    Nachikethass  over 2 years ago

    That’s quite rough!

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    Martin I  over 2 years ago

    He should have asked for a ballpark figure

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    lordhoff  over 2 years ago

    I think Pig’s been planning that for a while --

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    Concretionist  over 2 years ago

    English isn’t too ambiguous. You have to believe that any language in which you can meaningfully say “The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets until it’s too light to light.” had to have been designed to be as ambiguous as possible.

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    Troglodyte  over 2 years ago

    We can safely say Rat was stunned with the answer?! :D

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    Yontrop  over 2 years ago

    But that was roughly roughly.

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    Ksandler4570  over 2 years ago

    This one took me a sec, but I dig it.

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    James Wolfenstein  over 2 years ago

    A hundred bucks?????? how can they afford it? it’s like ultra premium all-sports package!

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    rdav1248961 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Rat deserved it

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    MayCauseBurns  over 2 years ago

    Looking at my cable bill makes me feel the same way.

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    Breadboard  over 2 years ago

    Well played Pig ! …Croc Power !

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    WoodstockJack  over 2 years ago

    It is not so much the interpretation that is lacking, here, as the inaccurate use of the language. Had Rat said, “approximately” instead of “roughly,” there would have been no problem, at all.

    "The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

    S.L. Clemons

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    zerotvus  over 2 years ago

    cable sucks!

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    chris_o42  over 2 years ago

    That’s just plain funny!

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    Zebrastripes  over 2 years ago

    Pig unhinged….now he feels better about himself!

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    Masterskrain Premium Member over 2 years ago

    YEAH!!! GO FOR IT, PIG!!!!

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    Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Today’s question: HOW ARE RAT & PIG ABLE TO PAY THEIR BILLS?

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    Linguist  over 2 years ago

    $100?? Rat’s watching too many PPV porn movies, again.

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    Steverino Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Ambiguity’s great. Used in advertising (and other forms of political speech) all the time. Their message is ambiguous, and your mind fills in what it wants the message to be. Example:Things go better with Coke.

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    YippiKiAyMofo  over 2 years ago

    Worth getting angry about!

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    dsatvoinde Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Reminds me of one day when I went to the in-laws house to pick up a twin bed they were giving to one of our daughters. At the time, they were hosting a foreign exchange student from Germany. I needed help carrying the bed out to the truck, so I asked the student to give me a hand. She paused for a minute and then said, “You want me to give you my hand?” That’s the point I realized that slangs do not translate in all languages.

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    Reader  over 2 years ago

    He forced an answer from him, after all.

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    elbow macaroni  over 2 years ago

    So unfunny

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    Mentor397  over 2 years ago

    I wish I only paid a hundred dollars a month for cable. Our company just responded to the growing threat of streaming services by raising our bill.

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    OshkoshJohn  over 2 years ago

    We cut the cable here. We have three cellphones, one for each of us, and a cellphone that acquired our old landline number. The telephones are all TracFones, costing $12.50/month.

    We dropped the landline and cable teevee, and kept only the Internet. Our bill from Spectrum (formerly Time-Warner) is $73/month. We added Netflix, Hulu+, and Amazon Prime, via streaming with a ROKU device. There was an initial saving of $60/month.

    That savings is slowing going away as prices for the additional services for streaming increases. However, we have have thousands of shows and movies such that we cannot possibly watch everything. I particularly favor the PLUTO channel on the ROKU.

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    Snoots  over 2 years ago

    Not only does cable TV turn your mind to mush… they actually have people paying for the privilege. That’s marketing for ya.

    Imagine what people might accomplish if they had to spend their spare time being productive, or enjoying family time, become artists or musicians or weavers or take up other interesting hobbies. Gasp… society might… mature!

    No no… let’s get serious now… heh heh. I’m such a joker.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Wait, Pig, pays the bills???

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    mapleman  over 2 years ago

    Old joke but still a good one.

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    Ellis97  over 2 years ago

    I never thought I’d see the day.

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    WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I’m guessing Rat should stop running up big Pay-per-view charges!

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    Aladar30 Premium Member over 2 years ago


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    jessie d. Premium Member over 2 years ago

    After looking at and paying said bill, you sure feel like you have been beaten up. Why can’t cable wise up and dump those egregious contracts and many who left for streaming and no long term commitments might return? But no they are still doing their “thing” which surely isn’t profitable now.

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    mattro65  over 2 years ago

    I would think the fact that they pay that much for mindless dreck would be enough to floor him

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    Herb L 1954  over 2 years ago

    Care for some salt to go with your battery,Rat ;)

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    Thehag  over 2 years ago

    Way to go Pig!

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    marilynnbyerly  over 2 years ago

    And that’s why writers spend so much time revising.

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    zeexenon  over 2 years ago

    Very true, but if you’re trained by, say, the patented AT&T Human Resource Assessment Evaluation job, you are instilled with the joy of simple language taking the other person just to the point of stroke. And, I do not apologize to my Financial Advisor.

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    the lost wizard  over 2 years ago

    Well screw me.

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    Mr. Snuffles' Accomplice Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Pig must have been just like me last night, watching “The Irishman”

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    David Peters  over 2 years ago

    Inflection in spoken English?

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    Pointspread  over 2 years ago

    That’s funny!

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    oakie817  over 2 years ago


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    Sisyphos  over 2 years ago

    Pig gives it to Rat roughly?! The world turned upside down!

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    hdcanterbelle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I never saw pig be violent before….or am I mistaken?

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    Bicycle Dude  over 2 years ago

    Someone is paying too much for cable. Better yet, paying for cable.

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    chriscc63  over 2 years ago

    or Betty White

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    Motormaniac  over 2 years ago

    Just thinking of that myself during this morning’s commute. Who decided that ‘raised’ and ‘razed’ should sound the same, but with completely opposite meanings?

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