Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 10, 2019

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    BE THIS GUY  almost 3 years ago

    Larry can avoid all of this by just not going to church.

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    Vet Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    He’s not thinking. If all leave that means more beer!!!

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    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  almost 3 years ago

    it’s like the vicar and Andy Capp

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    Nachikethass  almost 3 years ago

    This is why all religions and their institutions are the same! Whatever you believe, the “keepers of the faith” will all go for more tangible, terrestrial proof!

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Glad to see you, Larry. It’s been kind of depressing around here.

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    Kaputnik  almost 3 years ago

    A reptilian church? What a crock!

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    hariseldon59  almost 3 years ago

    Unlike most of the adult male crocs in the strip, the croc priest speaks grammatically correct English.

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    Kurtass Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    After the rapture, it will be heaven on earth. All the “good” christians will be gone.

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    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Give the beer to the orphans! LOL I love it.

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    gopher gofer  almost 3 years ago

    i’m an orphan!

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    ajmsdca  almost 3 years ago

    I was raised Presbyterian, but my religion is horses, and always has been. It makes more sense, really. I worship five times a week, can always tell what state my soul is in by checking in with my horse and others. (He says I’m good) When it comes right down to it, religion is only intended for two things, instilling some kind of moral framework and supporting the priest/religion. At best, religion is a kind of social club and psychiatry, at worst a con. All religions promise rewards after death if you behave as they direct in life. Who’s gonna come back and complain? I’d rather keep my time and money, spend it on what I want, and ignore the patriarchy that thinks they should get to run my life.

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    Concretionist  almost 3 years ago

    My first response, should I have found myself in that very unlikely (for me) situation. “Oh thank goddess they’ve all gone away!”

    Totally appropriate that the pastor’s a carnivorous reptile.

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    SmallMeadow  almost 3 years ago

    Even though Benjamin Franklin probably never said it, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

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    PICTO  almost 3 years ago

    Be very careful, Larry, you’re dealing with a man of God…

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    RobinDatta  almost 3 years ago

    Beauty lies in the ayes of the beerholder.

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    Gent  almost 3 years ago

    The great bear god in the skies doesn’t have churches in his name and he never asks for donations. He only asks you for sacrifice. Sacrifice of your food by feeding poor hungry bears on earth. So, gimme all your food and redeem thy souls, humans.

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    vics_machine Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Once again we have a church leader resorting to fraud and deception to get money. Tax-exempt probably as well.

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    Breadboard  almost 3 years ago

    Finally we get some Crocs …. but this one is weak , Larry has done better work …. try again Stephan … Croc Power !

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    dadoctah  almost 3 years ago

    Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”: the first draft.

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    asrialfeeple  almost 3 years ago

    This is blackmail/extortion. Do NOT give into it. This is a “Father” who needs to repent. Unfortunately, there are many “churches” like this. “God will certainly bless you with a palace, but you have to give Him a house first”

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    Aladar30 Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    A bit extreme, but it’s work!

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    James Wolfenstein  almost 3 years ago

    Idiot! More beer for you!

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    jessie d. Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Larry can be one of those in name only Christians, i.e., Evangelicals, Republicans and Pence and she-wolf Mrs. Pence.

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    Zebrastripes  almost 3 years ago

    What’s the first thing that comes out of people’s mouths when they are experiencing a tragedy? OH GOD! PLEASE HELP ME!

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    Masterskrain Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Larry would LOVE it… more beer for him! And NO MORE LINES at the KFC!!!

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    BubbleTape Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    A world without self righteous, elitist Christians? Where do sign up.

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    Ignatz Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    The crocs are pre-millennial dispensationalists?

    (BTW, Stephan, they never call their pastors “Father.”)

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    ArtyD2 Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Wow, 7 hours and no “Father” in the closet comments. It is the Church of Peter, little boy peter.

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    jlsnell327  almost 3 years ago

    Or, find a church that does not use this sort of “ theology” to gain compliance!

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    Oakwood13  almost 3 years ago

    If the rapture takes believers to heaven that must means we are in hell now and must earn our way out. The way things are going now the more I believe it.

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    bhamdodger  almost 3 years ago

    Religion is the ultimate hoax.

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    gnome  almost 3 years ago

    rapture is not in scripture… it is a baseless belief…. it was invented in the 1830’s….

    … they must be having a kegger…. all cups, no bottles…

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    mjb515  almost 3 years ago

    “In Heaven there is no beer, that is why we drink it here…”

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    YippiKiAyMofo  almost 3 years ago

    And THAT’s exactly how corporate church operates. You give the money, they get the beer.

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    mjb515  almost 3 years ago

    I am not sure there is any church that refers to its clergy as “Father” that also believes in The Rapture.

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    geekboy_x  almost 3 years ago

    Read the whole bible. Didn’t see a single word about any “rapture”. Huh.

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    @Rad-ish  Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Boom boom boom, out go the lights.

    Support your local tax free mega-church with its millionaire pastor who has his own private jet to spread the word.

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    stipox  almost 3 years ago

    MORE CROCKYDILES PLEASE!! I can almost hear their hissy voices when i read ’em

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    JohnNeal  almost 3 years ago

    see this is why I dont drink and offer at Church

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    Ellis97  almost 3 years ago

    Larry is doing the sensible thing. I heard some churches use that money for their own personal gain.

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    tripwire45  almost 3 years ago

    “Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the LORD your God and rejoice.” – Deuteronomy 14:26 (NIV).

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    Lou  almost 3 years ago

    Years ago…decades really, I was in a deep relationship with a woman my age until she determined that she played for the other team. Also, we went to the same church* Heartbreaking at the time, but I get it now. Sad as the breakup was, after the breakup, I got a letter from the church office offering their condolences about my “domestic issues” (um we weren’t living together), but I did pledge to offer x amount for my tithe and it was time to cough it up. Since this was before the Internet, I wasted an entire afternoon at the library to find a way to say f**k off in Latin.It was then that my relationship with organized religion started to deteriorate.

    *Bonus fact: I learned later that the pastor who was trying to shake me down had multiple affairs with several (or many, accounts differ) women in the church. He was defrocked and ultimately wound up selling used cars. It was a long time ago and he might be dead now. I call that a win/win.

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    chuck_sa  almost 3 years ago

    Thank God for the believers. Think of life without the threat of an afterlife. With the sole arbitrator of morals being the government.

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    KEA  almost 3 years ago

    To paraphrase a Star Fleet Captain… “what does God need with money?”

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    Thank god I’m an atheist…

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    COL Crash  almost 3 years ago

    I think they have that whole Rapture concept backwards. The way God has explained it to me is the Evil folks are the ones who will disappear to be tormented in their own personal Hell. The rest of us get to stay here and return to the Garden of Eden to live in peace till the end of days.

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    Eric S   almost 3 years ago

    What accent is that from using????

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    cupertino jay  almost 3 years ago

    coincidentally (lucky 13) dropped RSCs, above, are also featured in today’s Ripley’s Believe It Or Don’t, ’spaining..> "red solo™ cups are a popular souvenir when leaving the united states due to their fame in american movies

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    marilynnbyerly  almost 3 years ago

    The comments here certainly show that it’s not just religious people who are self-righteous.

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    hitek1st  almost 3 years ago

    Yep, that’s exactly how phony every ‘house of worship and fleecing’ is on this planet.

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    T Smith  almost 3 years ago

    The big difference is, I have evidence that gives me good reason to be confident that beer exists.

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    Bohica Premium Member almost 3 years ago

    “The youth pastor fell asleep in staff meeting. So we laid some clothes on the chairs and exited quietly.

    “Then we blew a trumpet”

    — Somewhat old joke I heard several years ago. Not unlike Stephan’s.

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    sailor956  almost 3 years ago

    Just another lie from “the church”.

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    Snoots  almost 3 years ago

    Sadly, this is exactly how many religions work. “Pay us or burn forever.” Or alternately if you pay them enough money they can pray your dead loved one to heaven.

    I’m a Christian, and I find this offensive. Not the comic itself— the accuracy of it. Pastis has some guts bringing a major con game to light, I’ll say that for him.

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    lv2sew  almost 3 years ago

    Church history- tithing was made mandatory in 585 at the Synod of Macon. Tithe or be excommunicated. It was used to keep the coffers filled and the peons in line. And churches still adhere to this mess. Extortion indeed.

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    Sisyphos  almost 3 years ago

    Larry’s minster is too clever! If he can coax Larry into doing good, though, bully for him, I say!

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    Charlie Tuba  almost 3 years ago

    Someone should do that to Donald Trump.

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    One Navy Seal  over 1 year ago

    “Officer I drop-kicked that child in self defense.” -One violent pig

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    Guard duck  3 months ago

    Isn’t that a tad illegal, Larry?

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