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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 18, 2019

115 Comments

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 4 months ago

    I always thought that was the reason to take up drinking during the day.

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    Kaladin Stormblessed  4 months ago

    I’m wondering if this is supposed to be a President Rat strip, or if I’m reading too much into it.

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    B UTTONS  4 months ago

    Rat’s new anger management – Whack a little ball, chase after it, repeat.

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    TEMPLO S.U.D.  4 months ago

    why else, Goat?

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    Bilan  4 months ago

    He’s got it backwards. Golf (and the drinking) is about avoiding the rest of life.

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    kaffekup   4 months ago

    Rat, have you considered getting clubs that fit?

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    kaffekup   4 months ago

    Also, it really irritates me when golf is used as a verb.

    Whoever said, “I’m off to football”?

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    blunebottle  4 months ago

    Paris is obviously not a golfer if he didn’t realise that already.

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    Chithing Premium Member 4 months ago

    And here I always thought golf was a disease.

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    Ksandler4570  4 months ago

    Once again, another Stephan treasury comment. “I recently started playing golf. It takes a long time.”

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    danketaz Premium Member 4 months ago

    Immediate access to a bagful of blunt instruments is pretty much Rat’s style anyways.

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    WMORAN1  4 months ago

    Not an exact quote, bu PG Wodehouse said that if Cleopatra had had to spend an hour trying to get out of a sand trap on the 14th hole, she might have been a bit less stuck up.

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    EcurbYkspohs  4 months ago

    The best part of golf is driving the golf cart ! ….. Croc Power !

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    James Wolfenstein  4 months ago

    Why bother walking around to find your ball? Try pool! The ball is right there on the table all the time.

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    mjb515  4 months ago

    Learn the wisdom of bored Scottish shepherds.

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    jimchronister2016  4 months ago

    Stephan you need to stick to cartoons! You are totally ignorant about the wonderful game of golf!

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    Masterskrain Premium Member 4 months ago

    MAGA = Millionaire A****** Golfing Again.

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    HarryLime Premium Member 4 months ago

    The Scots invented two pastimes: golf and curling. Both seem to involve alcohol.

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    griffon8  4 months ago

    I can’t tell you who said it first, but…

    “The point of golf is to hit the ball as few times as possible. I take that to its logical conclusion and don’t hit it at all.”

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    aerotica69  4 months ago

    Also applies to white ball with red stitching, large orange ball, or brown ball shaped like Stewie’s head. Black rubber disk, too.

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    Ron Dunn  4 months ago

    Remember Rat concentrate and be the ball….nananananana

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    Zebrastripes  4 months ago

    RAT is right about this! Hitting a little white ball around, just to try to get a hole in one….

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    tripwire45  4 months ago

    Maybe that’s why all Presidents play golf.

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    KeithRoman  4 months ago

    Correction: Best explanation of ANY sport ever. . . .

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    YatInExile Premium Member 4 months ago

    Golf is especially fun when you use balls decorated with the faces of people you hate.

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    KEA  4 months ago

    Golf, like fishing, is a way to get away from the rat race. Rat should know that.

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    Linguist  4 months ago

    To paraphrase Mark Twain … Golf – the definition of a good walk spoiled.

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    Wlly Blly  4 months ago

    Hard to think of a better reason for golf.

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    Diat60  4 months ago

    Has anyone noticed that “golf” spelt backward is “flog”? Apt.

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    Pickled Pete  4 months ago

    Why GOLF : Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.

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    chuck_sa  4 months ago

    I just want to see the swing on a club that’s twice as tall as rat is.

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    Snoots  4 months ago

    Golf is just another reason to socialize with friends and drink beer. My friends play golf for fun. Good exercise, laugh about it when they miss the mark. Those who take it more seriously than that aren’t playing golf; they’re working. You could not get me out there in the middle of 200+ people trying to sink a 2" ball in a 3" hole from 250 yards away (actual diameters and distances unknown because… meh). Same goes for any professional sport. Center of attention of “win or fail” is not my idea of fun. I pity the guy that misses the wining field goal or last-at-bat. Let’s instead just run our heads full steam into a brick wall or sit on a cactus. Sounds more fun. ; )

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  33. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  4 months ago

    I learned that long ago c. 1957 in gym trying to golf a wiffle-ball. As an AT&T middle-manager at subordinate ratings meetings, e.g., The American Club, while my peers golfed, I rode my bike. None of them were promoted.

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    Bruce1253  4 months ago

    To learn the true origin of Golf, go to You Tube and enter “Robin Williams – Golf” Be prepared to LYAO.

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    hariseldon59  4 months ago

    George Carlin had the perfect description for golf, but I can’t post it here.

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    windskipper1 Premium Member 4 months ago

    You make me laugh everyday, Pastis, but not today. There’s a reason why the game of golf has endured for 562 years and it’s certainly not because it makes life pointless. On the contrary, it’s a metifore for life.

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    Jml58  4 months ago

    I don´t need to play golf. My vocabulary is bad enough already.

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    InuYugiHakusho  4 months ago

    Is that why Congressmen spend so much time on golf courses?

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    well-i-never  4 months ago

    379!

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    Bookworm  4 months ago

    I can’t remember, but a comedian a number of years ago did a routine about golf. He said it was a stupid game. You took a ball and placed it upon the ground. Then you took a stick and beat the thing away from you, far away. So far, so good; you didn’t want the ball. But then, you walk after it! You had the ball. You had it in your hand, but you didn’t want it. You sent it away. In baseball, you beat the ball away from you, BUT the other team has nine players on the field to catch the ball in flight, or to field it, and return it to you. But you don’t want the ball. That’s why you beat it away from you with a stick. In football and basketball, you want the ball. You cling tenaciously to the ball and try and prevent the other team from taking the ball away from you. But in golf, you don’t want the ball, but you go after it. Why? To put it, by means of a smaller stick, into a little hole. And then, then, you pick it up, beat it away from you again, to put it into another little hole? It was in a little hole. What was wrong with the little hole it was in? He said it was a stupid game.

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    Concretionist  4 months ago

    Rats generally are existentialists. As are all animals, come to think of it.

    But, as I point out to people who wonder if I’m a fisher-person: I can take a nice walk by the river without carrying a long stick with a snaggy place on it… and I don’t have to worry about being made to look stupider than a fish. Same thing applies to golf, but even more so.

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  42. Spinynorman
    liberalnlovinit  4 months ago

    Now we know why Trump plays all the time…

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    Sisyphos  4 months ago

    You are wrong, Goat. There is no sufficient explanation for golf.

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    Bob666  4 months ago

    So there really is a reason to play golf.

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    Love2laugh  4 months ago

    I’m guessing the creator doesn’t like golf too much…

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