Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 14, 2023

Calvin is a “Moby Dick” fan.

And the gift will be a note saying, “Nice try, Calvin!”

What else would you expect from the little cretin??!!

That’s a whale of a tale.

You could ask Santa for a genie that grants wishes.

Santa passed away in 1876 40 years after being responsible for the death of the legendary Dave Crockett.

I suspect that Santa will catch on, Calvin.

Santa, and your parents, won’t fall for it, Calvin.

And stop being so d@mned selfish; you’re old enough to know the TRUE meaning of Christmas! After all, A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS is on TV every year.

‘Melville and Hobbes’ doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Next year’s brother’s name will be Moby.

Calvin is the best birth control his parents have ever had.

Mervin would’ve been good, too.

Next year, he’ll add “Ahab”.

Anythings better that Queequeg or Stubb

His next alias will be Billy Budd.

Starbuck, maybe?

Next year’s letter will start “My name is Ishmael”

Calvin, you’re writing a fraudulent letter to a guy who supposedly knows all and sees all (re., that song).

I spot a tactical error here…

Not another alter ego for Calvin?!

Ha! All you’re writing is a one-way ticket to the top of Santa’s naughty list!

dodging, weaving, laying false trails which gets him . . . nowhere

Cavin, save it until you have to file income tax.

it’s a whale of a tale!

You expected “Spaceman Spiff”, Hobbes?

I like comics I can read, and Watterson’s and even Calvin’s writing is great.

Don’t forget to explain Santa why a baby needs a rocket launcher and a wrecking ball.

“Machiavelli” would be more believable in a household with “Hobbes” and “Calvin.”

I guess “Melville” seemed hipper than “Herman”.

It was a toss-up between Melville and Hubert.

Calvin is in the depths of desperation this Christmas. Even Hobbes doubts it will work.

It won’t work, Calvin.

Les Enfants terribles!

I’m surprised Calvin didn’t stick with the Christmas theme and name his “new” brother Whoville.  He was so close and yet went in a totally different direction.  But then again maybe Calvin considers Santa his great white whale!

Calvin must think Santa is really dumb if he would fall for that.

Well a common name would be odd. Perhaps Bruno or Lockert?

Think this through, Calvin. According to Santa Claus lore, he knows if you’ve been good or bad. This letter is a lie, so Santa will know it is a lie (How many babies write letters to Santa?) and lying is bad. Hence, there’s one more check in the “bad” column by your name.

Babies don’t often use the word “enclosed” in their letters

Kind of like what some people have tried with the IRS!

Calvin’s going to get a whale of a surprise.

Like Santa’s really gonna fall for that, since they say Santa is frequently watching the kids. Also, the fact that a “baby brother” would probably ask for the same weapons and other stuff Calvin asks for… though of course, an older sibling would logically be able to write a Christmas wish list for a much younger sibling that can’t write yet, but even so…

Melville and another ‘friend’ of a different philosophical bend.

“Call me Ishmael…”

Next comes Emerson.

Jean Pierre or Herman?

It’s a whale of a lie…

Well, if he applys the ‘Cheaper by the Dozen’ model, he’s set for a decade..

As usual, cold hard reality will hit Calvin in the face.

Seems like it should be Luther, or Bacon, or Descartes or Machiavelli or…

Given how much Santa is supposed to know about him, what makes Calvin think he can get away with this?