Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for June 09, 2022

You gave it away when you mixed your French accent with your German accent.

Cahlveen fails ageen!

Today he could skip the library and just browse the internet.

Someone who knows the word “synonyms” should be able to look them up for himself.

I learned all the correct words in fourth grade by looking up the vulgar ones.

Hmph! Dumbkopf….

Bookstore is another option. They still existed back then.

Yep! Sharp as a tack and twice as fat headed.

I think he didn’t pronounce his ‘y’ as ‘uh’, that’s a dead giveaway. repeat after me: zunnonums (I actually listened to German giving an English presentation and he always pronounced symbol as zumbl).

Next time, hire Pepe le Pew to speak for you!!

Well-read at least…….

By now, they all must have Calvin ID on their phones.

Try ‘steatopygia’. Look it up; you’ll like it.

The Count does the same thing with telemarketers. ¡Hola No se. No se.

Today, his luck would even be worse with caller ID!

Should’ve used Spanglish.

He needs to talk mom into taking them to the library. Hobbes’ll find the book.

He’s just rushing what’s gonna be heard soon anyway

Sometimes my opponents are truly bright but usually, I’m just dim.

You’d think so – but about 12 years ago I took a graduate course in library science, and discovered that (at least at University of Illinois) they are now defining video gaming as a form of literacy – which is akin to defining group sex as a form of chastity.

‘’ …. Prince Albert in a can? Well, let him out!’’ Can’t beat the classics.

Ahhh, the days before Google was a thing.

Today a librarian would direct Calvin to an online dictionary of vulgarity.

All I can say is “Careful what you Google”. There are things you cannot unsee.

Here ya go, from a friendly librarian. Not sure how many vulgarities are included—would have to see it. https://www.amazon.com/Big-Book-Bodily-Functions-Words/dp/0304366064

I once had a friend who claimed to know enough foreign profanity to get himself thrown out of bars in seventeen countries.

At first I thought go comics printed the wrong Calvin and Hobbes comic for the USA, that it was meant for a different country because of the language. After 3 clicks, with each one coming up on the same comic I finally read it and found it was indeed correct. Great job Mr Watterson!!!!

When learning a foreign language the first words everyone wants to learn are the vulgarities & swear-words.

He might have better luck if he called the librarian “Mon Cheri, or Mon Ami”

They’ve heard it all (according to a librarian friend of mine)

“Dah, he is Ollie, you are Sven. He is Ollie, you are Sven…” Love Calvin’s eyes in the first panel!

Calvin’s made so many of these kind of calls that you would think the entire town would know when to hang up immediately.

Some of them are even acerbic.

Well, that’s Calvin’s problem right there – beeg eemportant rezearcherz know how to use the rezearch rezources to find eenglish voolgar zynonyms for disgustink body yunctions on their own.

Questions like this are why I moved from the public sector to the private.

Librarians dig for answers, especially if a 6th grader asks the question. “Yes, you’ve plagiarized an entire poem! What were you thinking?”

Sounds to me like Calvin has tried this sort of thing before.

Wait until your voice breaks. You can impersonate an adult better then.

Vulgar synonyms? Well, there’s “@#$%%!”

And then there’s &*)?#>/!

Or “$+@%=>!”

And my personal favorite “#$&)_+?/}&!”

Wouldn’t be the weirdest phone call I get on a daily basis.

Although the librarians did a very accurate rendition of the flatulence sound before hanging up on me….

Worse, Calvin just had to come up with something gross and obnoxious.

Even reading this the accent sounded terrible. Well done, Watterson.

Mm

Oops. Better vurk on ze accent, Calvin.

This one made me laugh.

I read it as a bad southern cowboy accent.