That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 01, 2021

Grandpa finally got to framing that painting of the first date with grandma.

Back in the day when clearing your browser history meant painting it over.

February 2, 2054: Steve Melcher, shown thinking of a “That is Priceless” caption for a work, at long last, not painted by Charles Spencelayh.

How to tell is a painting is art, or if it is porn: did it come in a plain brown wrapper?

Grandpa, reminiscing about the good old days, when he had a libido.

Original “Only Fans” content provider…

Phillip sat in his robe, (very dapper), / having cut off the frame’s plain brown wrapper. / He leered, (nearly addicted), / at the model depicted / in the nude, (she’s why he’s now a fapper.)

As he unwrapped his “Broad of the Month Club” delivery Glenn Hefner hoped his son Hugh would hurry and make this clicker work. “I’m not gettin’ any younger boy – and bring some of them pills ya’ got”.

Coach-mail shipping Onlyfans early years used to be much more suspenseful

This artwork speaks to him: FaceTime for the elderly!

Before Playboy….

Self portrait of Charles Spencelayh, admiring a painting by Charles Spencelayh.

Porn has always been a thing.

Just arrived in a plain brown wrapper

grandad could hardly wait for the sports illustrated swimsuit painting to come out every year…

Trying to figure out how to centerfold that painting.

Melcher tossed this one out as a softball for comments — without even taking the easy, obvious route himself!

Sending his daughter an unhappy text about his granddaughter’s senior photo.

As the Amazon truck pulled away/ Ezekiel sat in dismay/ a downhearted dude/ who’d received the wrong nude/ for Ezekiel, sadly, is gay./// But it’s not an unalloyed shame/ for Zeke is remarkably game/ the affair will conclude/ when he throws out the nude/ but keeps that spectacular frame!/// Ezekiel swiftly replaced/ (though not with unseemly haste)/ that cheap Spencelayh/ with a with a work by Monet/- a display of impeccable taste !

He’s not changing the channel, he pushing the pause button.

BUSTED! The “Grandpa Flasher” just back from the park.

“I can’t believe this guy’s paying me, just to sit here and stare at this picture!”

I was going to thank Solstice for his lovely limerick with another one, but I can’t think of anything that rhymes with solstice.

“Putting my nephew through Art School has finally paid off.”

why would anyone change the channel on a Renoir?

Grandpa sat thinking that he couldn’t possibly hang that in the same room that held his blue-bound Hardy Boys collection.

Every time grandpa questioned why he married grandma he would just give a gander at her 20 years old portrait.

“I know what all the parts are, but danged if I can remember what to do with ’em.”

A Dear Lot: This roughly 9×7 inch, oil on panel, remarkably detailed (shipping labels on floor, newspaper on corner chair, outside reflection on bookcase glass door, etc., on this smaller than letter size) painting, inscribed with 

SPENCELAYH. 

at its lower left, is privately owned. It was auctioned by Christie’s (London) for £59,750 on November 22, 2004 (I’ll let you adjust for inflation, convert £ to $, etc.), under a slightly different title. 

The artist also inscribed it 

Charles Spencelayh R.M.S. 19, Queen’s Road. West Didsbury Manchester. Title “A Dear Lot” No 4. 

on an old label on the back; so, I’m using the title that artist gave it.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2783.html 

So far, 5 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/08/31?comments=visible 

has the prior, and my 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2778.html 

comment has the artist info that I used to point to here. Due to copyright issues (the artist died in 1958 and the painting’s date is unknown), once again, I can’t use Wikimedia Commons for this painting.

Charlie ponders whether he should call Amazon and tell them he’d ordered a landscape, or say nothing and keep the nude.

Where is the damn zoom button on this remote.

Ahhh, she never looked better. What a broad!

Doing a little PhotoShop work on the touchscreen.

Back in the olde days:

1) You received your That Is Priceless picture in the mail.

2) You sent your caption to everybody on the Commentors list.

3) You waited a few days to received the other comments in the mail.

“That’s one fine mama.”

Let us pity the poor old fapper/ for although he’s now rid of the wrapper/ he’s learned to his shame/ that because of its frame/ he can’t squeeze it into the crapper…

Grandpa enjoying an internet popup ad.

Stevie got the wrong panting, he was suppose to get his "picture of Dorian grey, but got a naked woman, all in all it wasn’t so bad. he got younger but his dick fell off.

Ah, he got his monthly issue of ‘Art Gallery’ magazine.

He was so proud of fixing the chair leg, that he would tell everybody about it; even if it was just a painting.

((“Damn… I used to…”))

Struggling with senility, and forgetting that he was in his own parlor, Theo opened his pocket knife and prepared to cut the intriguing painting out of its gilded frame. (It had just been reframed and mailed back to him after his last attempted caper.)

It will be with considerable relief/ that we read he’s retired as a thief./ He’s too long in the tooth/ for the work of his youth/ he must stop before coming to grief….