Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 08, 2021

To serve man….

That’s awful…but funny.

It means you never have to mow the lawn again!

Choice is overrated unless it’s my choice…

Sounds about right. Really want to wash it off first, though…

Read a short story years ago, don’t know the author. The plot was a astronauts set off to an earth like planet. When they get there the planet is shrouded in thick clouds. They land near an ocean which is lined with a white rim. They soon discover the white is bleached bones and the shore is crowded with humanoids. They realize that the humanoids have been introduced to multiply and will be harvested to feed " superior " beings. And we are to experience the same fate

“It’s a cookbook! Oh, it’s a cookbook!”

Today’s Special: Catch of the Day assortment

Would you like ketchup with that? Would you like to super size it?

Oh, you don’t want that one! They’re too hard to clean!

A tractor beam doesn’t pull you outa your clothes,..

The chef’s hat is a nice touch.

Let’s see, shoes, socks, pants, shirt, cap.

That means he went commando.

Those tongs are going to leave a mark.

Not to intentionally be a spoiler here, but could this cartoon actually be a comment about the nonsense of the notion of the rapture?

Oh geesh, Wiley toking and drawing again….

Yes, he was chosen…

Joke

A man from the continent ( Europe ) comes over to America as a tourist. He dwcides to have a meal at a nice restaurant. When he’s seated the waitress comes over and asks the gentleman what he would like to order.

“A quickie” the man says

The waitress blushes and turns around to compose herself.

Again she asks what he would like to order

“A quickie” the man says

The waitress is getting annoyed

She asks a third time what he would like to order

“A quickie” the man says

The waitress can’t stand his behaviour and smacks him cross the face

Man at the next able leans over and whispers to the tourist, “Over he we pronounce it keesh”

Hundred degree heat will do that to you. Especially if you’ve had a couple of beers to keep up your liquid intake.

I think it was Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof who complained, “I know we’re the chosen ones… But couldn’t you chose someone else for a change?”

yep, you’re choosing alright.

I have déjà vu about that last panel, and a lousy memory. Is this a rerun, or maybe some other strip had the same idea once upon a time..

They’re giving the Wiley Bears a run for their money!

Be careful what you believe in…..

That does it. I’m never cutting grass again!

Poor guy probably never got picked first for a team in Grade School. I suppose that makes him more tender.

Hmmm. I bet he’d be well marbled. Like Wagyu beef.

One rapture coming up!

Yet another reason I don’t want to be “raptured”.

I find it repulsive, not humorous.

That’s what you get for being free range. In the house in front of the TV with a beer = safety.

Well, if folks who eat vegetables are vegetarians, then cannibals are true humanitarians.

And you’re nice and fresh and plump!

Quite a revelation, eh?

As it is August, it is once again Vacation time for Wiley. Enjoy the flashbacks to earlier strips.

And to think I thought he was being abducted by aliens…

repulsive

“If you don’t have a seat at the table……..”

Opportunities missed – if this happened to the Blouted Buttwhistle especially when he called himself “the chosen one” and they had a gilded image (was that a graven image or a craven image?) we could have been rid of him. And they’d never be able to get that foul taste out of their mouths so they’d definitely never try it again. Win-win!

There is also an Outer Limits episode where 6 cities blocks of Earth are transported to another planet to serve an alien race. When the humans find out what is going on they kill themselves

No one noticed that the guy thinks he’s being taken up by the “Rapture”.

Take me PLEASE. I ready to leave here.

lemme think*********seems i remember some one else saying he was the “chosen one!” who was—-oh yes-now i remember- and with any luck at all, he will also be in the stew pot with a whole group of others, who, if justice really does matter, will be cooked really well!

Extremist’s hubris…

And THAT’S why I don’t mow my lawn.

Considering the relative size of the eaters, the about to be eaten look more like appetizers. Sometimes Wiley is excruciatingly funny, and sometimes he makes me wince.

what a charming comic! wiley does it again! genius!

I just mowed my backyard. Now keep in mind, I haven’t mowed the rather large (for our “suburban city”) back yard since May…. Needless to say, it was not easy. I sort of wish some aliens swooped me up and away half-way through! I have been mowing the front every two or three weeks to avoid a citation from the city; the back is hidden by the 6’ doggie fence. The back has, quite literally, gone to the dogs and whatever native weeds southeastern Virginia has blowing in the wind or dropped by birds… I am allergic to most of them, so the disposable COVID-19 mask comes in very handy for yard work!

Do not Celebrate until you determine just What that gooey substance you landed in IS.

A fear that is baseless. Humans though have very excitable imaginations.

And after they get done with that grill he’s been rapcharred.

From ‘rapture’ to appetizer.

Clothes must taste terrible to the aliens.