Clay Bennett for March 29, 2020

Not as long as he has breath. Or thumbs.

And his brain is never open.

All we have to do is tune away when he’s on. That will pretty quickly get back to advertisers which will get back to stations and channels which will reduce the noise level. I’m already doing that.

Trump is an idiot, who knew.

Let’s talk ventilators, Governor Newsome’s presser today disclosed that many of the ventilators the Feds have sent need repair.

Forget GM making a modern ventilator inside 6 months. A modern ventilator is as complicated as a Rolex.

GM might be able to put out something like the “Bird 8” respirator. I haven’t seen one in use since before 1970, but they did work – sort of. They had a transparent case that let you see that the guts weren’t very complicated. I remember the Anesthesiologist telling me that I should set the rate by matching it to my own breathing. [Sigh, I don’t recall ever actually killing a patient with the thing.]

You better forget the broken ventilators from the feds. Maybe, you can find some Bird’s in a museum or Peru.

So you may have to make do with 1965 respiratory support. That is better than modern ones that are broken —like Trump’s government sent to California.

Should be closed.

Despite trolls’ whining to the contrary, I don’t think many people would object to the last one being open if the truth came out of it on a regular basis. You know…if he’d actually put the well-being of American citizens over the “numbers” or his perceived image or his petty revenge plots. But that’s not in his skill set.

(Speaking of revenge, Bruce “Driving Under the Influence” Tinsley used to snivel that Obama had an “enemies list” and he was on it because Obama hates him/even knows who he is. I wonder if Bruce has soured on Donny Littlehands yet…but not enough to look at his crappy little idiot-strip.)

Awww, the Orange poopy puppy only wants to be “appreciated” for the yuuuugely bigly job he’s doing… That’s why he just can’t stop whining… Ever.

The governor of my state finally shut down all non-essential businesses and issued a shelter in place order. Then his office made exemptions for a bunch of businesses that aren’t “essential” by any stretch of the imagination.

Remember the Republican Rule… “Open Mouth, Insert foot, Chew Vigorously, Blame EVERYONE ELSE!”

I wish we still had an agile Lockheed Martin “Skunk Works” style can-do company that could rapidly produce the needed ventilators.

Trump’s mouth: Non-essential and still open!

With Trump in charge, America is winning so hard it could die. And it is.

His mouth never shuts, and the steady stream of sh#t coming out of it appears endless!

as my deceased brother would say " bro it’s like shit hittin your ears"…

The horror is his cultists think he’s doing great.

Clay hits the bullsh_t in the eye.

Higher education has had “distance learning” long before CV. Maybe we should be working at gradually implementing something similar for all grades.

Walk (or jog) to the gym. When you get there, walk home. Bonus points; if it’s not on the first floor, walk up the stairs to the door.

Netflix. I stopped going to theaters some time ago; I want to retain as much of my hearing as possible.

Longhairs win!

I don’t know what they’re like now, but it always seemed to me that libraries were already practicing social distancing.

Trump. Can we have Agent Smith from The Matrix take him in for questioning? Mmph!

Since Reagan Republican presidents have been trying to destroy this country,

Trump has succeeded beyond their wildest dreams, Putin is so proud.

All but the last panel is close it and clean it. The last panel shows what can’t be closed or kept clean.

Bravo,Mr Bennett! As usual,spot-on…..

And extremely venomous.

I wonder how many times, has someone asked “Why can’t he just shut up?”. From when he was a kid, to now…millions, I’ll bet.

When logic and proportion

Have fallen sloppy dead

And the White Knight is talking in tongues

And the Red King wants you dead

Remember what the Dormouse said

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

(with a few apologies to Jefferson Airplane/Starship)

If Trump never said anything, he’d be excoriated for not addressing the corona virus. And he should be if that were the case. And now more than one news carrier wants to stop carrying what he says live. I guess they want to edit it to say whatever they want instead of us listening and determining what was actually said. And yes, both sides could do it. I would judge by who does carry it live or does no editing.

Was Mose Allison thinking of the Cheeto when he wrote this song? https://youtu.be/hxZ-scE9mDk

American priorities..

Last Friday, I looked up a map of my state to find a county that had no reported cases of the Trump Plague. I had been self isolated for three weeks, so I felt like it was safe that I wouldn’t infect anyone, then drove 40 miles to the grocery store in that county. I’m 75 and have type A blood, so if you think that’s overreacting, I hope you’re right, but I doubt it. I got $200 worth of groceries, should last at least until the end of July.

Then, I noticed a pharmacy tech and asked her " Are there any cases reported here yet?" Her answer: “We wouldn’t know, we have some people we’d like to test, but we have to get the tests from either St Louis or Chicago, and they don’t have enough to test their own people.” So, if you think you are in a Trump Plague free zone, that may be just another one of his lies.

Talk about rancid spewing, garbage slinging, bitterness cringing….QUICK! Get the duct tape….America can’t take it anymore….

we need to add one more thing to the “closed” list—-HIS MIND!!!

86% of Republicans say Trump is doing an exceptional job of handling the flu. Maybe they don’t live in the U.S.?

Trump BS and Covid-19 still thriving. We desperately need a vaccine for both.

This cartoon is brilliant, as usual Mr. Bennett.

The malignant Shit-Funnel never closes it’s mouth!

Time for a ball-gag, and orange one.

I listen to him as rarely as possible. If I catch his mini-rally – praise for every imaginary action he has taken, his unique capability of standing upright at a podium, and his eye-popping lies – I mute until someone who is speaking the truth. These snipets are becoming fewer and farther apart.

If he keeps pre-empting Judge Judy he is going to p———- off many in his base.

Are his lips moving?

Looking at the closed gyn in the 2nd panel reminds me of Rand Paul. Why was the Senate gym still open?

“Paul’s results came back a week after he cast the lone Senate vote against an $8.3 billion emergency package in response to the coronavirus outbreak, including funding for medical supplies and community medical centers. A self-identified libertarian, Paul attempted to attach an amendment to the package that would make up for the cost by cutting other programs, and after his amendment died, he voted against the entire package to protest adding to the deficit. (Paul had no such reservations in 2017 when he voted for GOP-backed tax cuts for the richest Americans that increased the deficit by a whopping 26 percent.)”

https://www.gq.com/story/rand-paul-coronavirus-non-quarantine

Harry G. Frankfurt’s 1986 essay On Bull$##t describes anything Trump says to a T. Lester’s comics as well.

I wonder which is more hazardous; the coronavirus or the viral verbiage?

After Uncle Joe’s super Tuesday landslide I was certain He would blow Trump away in November. I watched him on the View after that I doubt he will even make it to the election. What a trainwreck this election turned into. Cuomo in 2020

Trump is open for misinformation 24/7.

The man is a deluded, dangerous liar. It’s time to invoke the 25th Amendment before he kills more people.

Some Theaters around the country are “Reinventing” the Drive In. Hang a large outdoor screen on the outside wall of the mall and let the audience watch from their cars.

Tune your FM Radio to the theater’s low power FM Transmitter and you are ready to go.

Bonus, you can bring you own candy & popcorn.

And Beer.

I wish journalists would do their freaking jobs and call out his BS. That, or don’t show up at his campaign rallies disguised as press conferences. Spend your time correcting his crap and quit enabling him.

OHHH…The Stench!!!!!!!!

I don’t watch his narcissism. I never liked his TV show either. I don’t believe he is a billionaire. Why won’t he show his taxes?

I was sad thru every panel; the last panel made me … well, that fish mouth just made me ill.

A roll of Duct Tape would come in handy.

and if his lips are moving, he’s lying