Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 10, 2020


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  1. 495px trismegistos
    Ἑρμῆς ὁ Τρισμέγιστος, Premium Member 5 months ago

    All is in advertising .

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 5 months ago

    I’ll take a double shot of responsibly, neat.

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    kaffekup   5 months ago

    I’m starting a line of vodka called Responsibility.

    You can’t get the caps off.

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  4. Seattle mormon temple7 thumb 1
    TEMPLO S.U.D.  5 months ago

    and how does one drink “Responsibly” responsibly?

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    B UTTONS  5 months ago

    Bartender, Rat prefers to end his day Absolut with a Scotch and with a desire to drink Responsibly while some drown the day’s woe with Wine and others with a game and Gin.

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  6. Homer  invent that
    comic4matt  5 months ago

    And i named my car ’’Safely’’.

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 5 months ago

    I’m on the wagon so I won’t drink responsibly.

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    Concretionist  5 months ago

    There’s a bar near here called “The Lumber Yard”.

    “Honey: I’m going down to The Lumber Yard to pick something up!”

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    TheodorFælgen  5 months ago

    Actually clever… only does any one meant to hear the message about being responsible ever listen.

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  10. I yam who i yam
    Kind&Kinder  5 months ago

    Better than calling it Rat Poison!

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  11. Major matt mason315
    Major Matt Mason Premium Member 5 months ago

    Endorsed by Alcoholics Unanimous.

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    einarbt  5 months ago

    Rat in marketing? Sure, why not. Campaign manager for KW?

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  13. Catsanddogsportrait
    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 5 months ago

    “Officer, I only drink Responsibly”

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  14. Mrpeabodyboysherman
    iggyman  5 months ago

    Clever Rat, clever!

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  15. Gentbear3b1a
    Gent  5 months ago

    We all need more responsibly in life.

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  16. Blunebottle
    blunebottle  5 months ago

    Smart move. Sort of like the scotch aimed at the Punjabi market called “Kuchh Nai.” The joke is, that when a Punjabi drops in for a visit and the host asks, “What will you have?” to which the guest may at first beg off by saying: “kuchh nai,” which means “nothing,” the host produces the bottle of scotch. (And it’s not bad scotch.):

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  17. Out little avatar
    dadoctah  5 months ago

    Back in the ‘70s, the age of K-Tel, I wanted to start a band and call it “Many, Many More”. Because that’s the line the used in every TV ad for those compilation LPs: “All of today’s biggest hits! From Helen Reddy! KC and the Sunshine Band! Jim Croce! And Many, Many More!”

    Figured they’d have three options: stop using that line, include at least one of our songs on every record they advertised, or get sued for lying to consumers. (And I was kind of hoping they’d go for the second one.)

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    whahoppened  5 months ago

    Many years ago, Brand"X" was created for the same reason.

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    enigmamz  5 months ago

    Sort of like the bar named “The Office”.

    I saw a story about a guy who made a fortune on long distance calls. You know people can get stressed out at hospitals and airports, and, before everyone had a phone on them at all times, when they used a pay phone there, the operator would ask which LD company they wanted. If they had been thinking, they would say AT&T or Sprint or whatever, but if they said something like “I don’t know”, “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter”, well this guy had made phone companies named I Don’t Know, I Don’t Care and It Doesn’t Matter, and he charged something like $8 a minute. So, a 5 minute call to your mom telling her that her new grandbaby came a month early but is OK using the I Don’t Care Phone Company would cost $40 or so. All this guy needed was a decent computer and modem (for the time), which, of course, he had.

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  20. 4429713 frog on a log
    FrogOnALog Premium Member 5 months ago


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  21. Skipper
    3hourtour Premium Member 5 months ago


    … I was looking forward to another sad sack commentary on the world this morning…

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    Troglodyte  5 months ago

    Good idea, Rat. I normally drink responsively.

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    AlanM  5 months ago

    Back when TV ads were comparing their product to other, unnamed, products someone trademarked “Brand X”.

    The face of American advertising changed almost immediately.

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    EllisAmirRogersArcher  5 months ago

    How’s he gonna market and distribute it?

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    sapepgoldman  5 months ago

    Problem is, when someone calls for help saying, “I drank so much responsibly!” no one will help him

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    Qiset  5 months ago

    I can see a lot of new companies being formed. Drive the new 2021 Responsibly and your Responsibly dealer today!

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    f_murphy  5 months ago

    There was a Soup 2 Nutz but with a brewery a few years ago.

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    Imaginarium  5 months ago

    Rat what will you call “Gin” ? … Croc Power !

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    Markov Da Hamilton Cat  5 months ago

    I guess it’s rat progress there.

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    Aladar30 Premium Member 5 months ago

    Great idea.

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    Jimvideo  5 months ago

    You can drink or you can be responsible, but you can’t be both. :)

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    Znox11  5 months ago

    That is way better than naming it “Andrive”…because everyone knows not to drink and drive.

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    Reader  5 months ago

    Like calling a bar The Gym.

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  34. Fasseddie
    FassEddie  5 months ago

    That’s brilliant!

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    Whatcouldgowrong  5 months ago

    There’s a town in Japan named Usa. In the ’60s and ’70s it was believed the name was chosen so that products made there could be sold here with the label: MADE IN USA.

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    Zebrastripes  5 months ago

    Well, I guess the Gray Goose has flown the coop…..

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    pheets  5 months ago

    Once in a while, Rat nails it : D

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    diskus Premium Member 5 months ago

    Im voting for Rat

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    Ponykeg Premium Member 5 months ago

    Who is Moderation?

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    Tallguy  5 months ago

    But it’s still vodka…

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  41. Alice nyah
    johndifool  5 months ago

    So, The Most Interesting Man in the World is now out of a job?

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    effyman Premium Member 5 months ago

    It sounds like an idea Ryan Reynolds would have for his vodka

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  43. Froggy with cat ears
    willie_mctell  5 months ago

    A cat we had when our daughter was little once stole some roast beef. We got him a hedgehog toy from the pet store and named it Roast Beef.

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  44. Kiwi kea
    KEA  5 months ago

    kinda why I changed my name from “Will” for safety’s sake

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    DCBakerEsq  5 months ago

    Drinking responsibly is for the unimaginative.

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    SunflowerGirl100  5 months ago

    Way back, there was a commercial for hair oil for men that advertised it was “better than that greasy kid’s stuff.” Soon stores reported customers were coming in asking for that “greasy kid’s stuff” and then someone actually put out a hair oil with that name since they didn’t have to spend a dime on advertising!

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    thelost wizard  5 months ago

    That’s the spirit.

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    Geophyzz  5 months ago

    Mad Magazine hatched the idea decades ago, proposing brand names like “Aloafa” bread, and “Apounda” butter.

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  49. Thinker
    Sisyphos  5 months ago

    Remember to drink responsibly (or Responsibly)? —Heck, just remember to drink!

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    COL Crash  5 months ago

    A couple of old Government Construction Quality Inspectors that worked for me said that in Retirement they where going to find a Disabled Female Native American Veteran to be the President of a Company called “Others” because almost every Contract Drawing set has the note “Provided by Others” all over them.

    It seems like a winning business strategy to me.

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  51. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  5 months ago

    How about a beer called Just One, so you can tell the wife that you’re going out to have Just One beer?

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    PBS1!  5 months ago

    At this point, Goat knows better than to think the name is a subtle reminder to drink wisely.

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    asrialfeeple  5 months ago

    If he names his bar “Moderation”, they can drink Responsibly in Moderation.

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  54. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  5 months ago

    And then drive responsibly. Full of responsibly.

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    oakie817  5 months ago

    most excellent

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    richhill48  5 months ago

    When you see the blimp…Think Goodrich

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    RonBerg13 Premium Member 5 months ago

    How about calling it Miracle vodka?

    If it’s good vodka, it’s a Miracle.

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    Beware of Duck (Happy Pride Month!!)  5 months ago

    I tell the police officer I drank responsibly

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    Beware of Duck (Happy Pride Month!!)  5 months ago

    Just like Rats bar, moderation

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  5 months ago

    I’ve had times in my life that I could’ve used some Responsibility.

     •  Reply
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