Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 19, 2022

Wiley, it’s not nice making fun of the mentally challenged

I used to have a coworker who claimed to believe the Earth is flat, the moon landing was faked, and Michele Obama is secretly a man. I could never tell if he was trolling me, or just an idiot. I don’t miss him.

So that is where all those flerfer, space denialist, moon landing conspiracy nuts get their “evidence”

And Obama was born in Kenya.

.

Just don’t trip over all the widespread undetectable voter fraud.

I always heard that the moon landings were filmed in my uncle’s garage.

And if you listen closely you can literally hear the bullsh.t ooze out of his flat-Earther grampa.

THOSE BIRDS ARE NOT REAL!

A day at the Q-Anon beach.

When I was very young, my next-door neighbor told me he didn’t believe people could land on the moon. But then, he was born in 1869 and also didn’t understand how heavy airliners could stay in the air. He died in 1969, not long after the first astronauts did the moon landing. I hope the shock didn’t contribute to his “early demise.” (—

Some will believe anything but the truth. For example, some will claim that Bin Laden wasn’t killed by America’s forces, but they believe that him being killed by his fellow countrymen is what happened, and that he’s also still alive. They believe that the aircraft which struck the World Trade Center was a hologram, but at the same time that it existed but wasn’t a passenger jet, because there was no way it could be a passenger jet.

He still doesn’t believe the pizza shop doesn’t have a basement.

Conspiracy Beach in the State of Conspiracy. In other words, Texas. We should make them secede and never come back. If they think they have a border problem now, wait until after that happens. They’ll be begging to be allowed back in. 40% of them would flee the State upon secession, all the national businesses would leave in a matter of weeks, and all the migrants would no longer go there (so no maids, no janitors, no mechanics, no cashiers, no construction workers, no seasonal farm laborers). Oh and the biggest win for the country? Forfeiture of Social Security benefits. Oops, didn’t see that one coming? Wait, there’s more!

Will a crab come out and pinch him on the ear?

The government faked the moon landing in a conspiracy binding hundreds if not thousands of people.

Also, the government is comically inept at everything it does.

I see no difficulty in reconciling these views.

Well of course it was. Doesn’t everyone know that?

I love conspiracy theories. Some recent favorites are the moon is just a light in the sky, JFK Jr. is coming back and drinking urine prevents Covid. The last is silly because as we all know Covid doesn’t exist!! :-o

The conspiracy-minded lightkeeper there constantly flashes three dots, three dashes, three dots.

Of course we did land on the moon. But this comic encourages the idea that conspiracies don’t exist, and that is foolish. The more elaborate the plan is, the more unbelievable it seems.

I didn’t know FOX News had a streaming service.

I miss the days before the internet, when reality was real, and stupidity wasn’t contagious.

No, Dad, that’s the sound of the air rushing through the empty spaces between your ears….

Or “It is all caused by global warming or Donald Trump”.

The fake landing must be true! Candace Owens said it was!

Exactly. Absolutely right. Listen as closely as you can. Tell me every word you hear the shell speak.

PLEASE, Wiley. Don’t give such people your space or time.

opspecial, ultra ammosexual, kat and alfred brown, let’s explore for the opportunity for common ground. Did the moon landing occur?:

Right! I found one shell that just kept repeating RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA!

don’t have to go to beach for that. Many many after dinner tv news and talk shows will do that for you.

“buuuuut, I don’t hear anything…”

Oddly enough, I have some compassion here. My grandfather, born in the closing years of the Nineteenth Century, went to his grave believing the moon landing never happened. It was more than the old gent could wrap his head around. It’s not that he was any sort of conspiracy theorist (although that term wouldn’t come around for several decades after his death). He was there when news of Kitty Hawk came around. He saw aircraft evolve from clumsy bi-planes and dirigibles of WWI (yes, he was a doughboy) to sleek jet liners. But man leaving the planet was a bridge too far for him. Gramps wasn’t a stupid man at all; he admitted he couldn’t articulate why he didn’t believe it. He just didn’t.

And a senile old man hiding in a basement can win a presidential election.

And, if you look out at the horizon, that sailboat will soon fall off the edge of the world.

Historic Facts: Nero did not fiddle while Rome burned. Richard III was not a humpback. Trump lost the 2020 election bigly and fairly.

Conspiracy beach is reached after taking a trip down D’Nial.

“No, Daddy. This is what I’m hearing, ‘Sailor Moon to Lighthouse 1. Do you have Hawaii Shorts in your sights?’”

Which one(s)? Apollo 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, or 17??

The moon landing was fake. After seeing the movie 2001, NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to film a fake moon landing for them. However Kubrick, being such a stickler for accuracy, insisted on actually going to the moon with his crew and actors to film the fake moon landing….

If the moon landing was faked, the Russians would have found a way to.prove it by the end of 1969. And BTW, “staging” the photo is not the same thing as faking the actual mission.

Three things about the human species that keep conspiracies in vogue — an inability to say, “Oops, I was wrong;” an inability to accept responsibility for our actions (and lack of action) [e.g., ‘climate change doesn’t exist. What man does (changing landscapes, cutting down trees, polluting air and water, overfishing, plastics, etc.) doesn’t impact nature — it’s just ‘nature’ doing its thing]; and, a belief that there is always a super being/power that will swoop down and fix everything. After all, Superman was able to make the earth rotate backwards, reversing time, so he could save Lois Lane and Captain America went back in time to rewrite the rewrite of history.

grooming

Conspiracy bingo https://imgur.com/gallery/DAlfu9Q

You can’t hear nothing in the vacuum of space, try again Wiley

Rudy? Is that you?

A conspiracy theory math problem – If Osama bin Laden spent 5 years without going outside of a house with his 3 wives, which one of the 4 called the Navy Seals?

The last time I put a shell to my ear,I heard a GEICO commercial

The island of the Q

It’s just the air whistling through your skull.

Wait until the Moon people tell the Chinese people to never come back.

And of course, the conspiracy theory about “Global Warming” is obviously “Fake News.”

Ah, a ‘shell phone.’ Obviously lost by a memaid.

That is ron desantis on the beach in Florida.

Do they know who shot JR?

When conspiracy theorists plan a meeting, do they aspire to conspire?? It’s enough to make one perspire!! With that – I will retire from this quagmire – or just expire!