Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 27, 2021

I read a “zero probability” suggestion that people should be able to sit in front of the TV, swallow a balloon sort of device, and power the TV with their peristaltic compressions.

So not only will people be able to inflate their tires, but also be tortured with that godawful bagpipe “music” at the same time, created by “The Ladies From Hell”, as the Germans called them in WWI?

With Amazing Grace under pressure.

The green I don’t mind, but the plaid…

I don’t want to look under his hood.

Getting rid of air pollution by replacing it with noise pollution?

Sweet music as the main byproduct? Sign me up.

Bag the pipes.

Does no one notice that the piper is still blowing into the bag? If he’s keeping air in the bag, what’s the air pump for?

I’druther run on flats than get air from bagpipes. They are the reason Hadrian had that wall built.

Bob wouldn’t know a good thing if it kicked him in the asteroids

Relax Bob, the Scots ain’t going vegan any time soon. And there is more than enough greenery in their land anyway.

How can you be “too green”?

I know those guys need a lot of air pressure, but 40lbs to lift 4000lbs? I don’t think so.

so that’s how the pig got it’s squeal.

It’s for pipers with asthma.

I’d like to cut off his air!

Fill your tyres and have a quick rendition of ‘’Scotland the Brave’’.

Now. What’s wrong with that, I ask ye?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnG1oUkWBa8

“Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling”

A plumbing song.

Nice pump. Organic and air cooled. Just a small noise pollution problem.

i knew of an eight-year-old apprentice piper who would practice at the local gas station, using the air hose to keep the bag inflated.

Shouldn’t the air pump guy be playing at Wimbeldon?

If that won’t get you to buy new tires, nothing will.

I love all instruments if the person playing them really knows how. As for instruments that need to be inflated, besides the bagpipes we have the Pipe organ that works on the same principle. Now the air horn is not a musical instrument and has a most horrific sound if blown in close proximity.

“The wailing of the dead”. Quote from the movie Motherlode.

Using “rapid” charging it takes roughly 90 minutes to get recharged to drive another 300 miles.

What? You’ve never heard “The Electric Slide Boogie” on the bagpipes? He’ll play it for you at no charge, while your car is charging.

Well, if not a bagpipe player, it’s some guy with a 15-year-old Lexus that’s using the free air at Wawa EVERY TIME I GO THERE.

If the piper has extra air, he can pump up my leaking tire.

IIRC, thsi was from an old “Shoe” strip. Why is the sound a bagpipe make called a “skreel?” Because “AAGRAKNAAOOWN” is to hard to pronounce.

How many times can you listen to “The Green Hills of Tyrol”?

The annual emergency alert on car tire pressure during the first cold snap made me wonder why those tire pressure stations still exist. My last three cars only used nitrogen.

You have a leaking tire if you get a tire pressure check and hear bagpipe music.

Uh, using electricity when you don’t need it is the opposite of going green.

Green in the sense of Irish pipes? They sound a bit different from the Scottish variety. I’ve always liked bagpipes. The drones and the modal scales.

There’s some fairly good bagpipe rock out there

It’s OK as long as he learned from the band “Celtica: Pipes Rock.”

https://celticarocks.com/news/

If he can get up to 35 psi, I’ll be incredibly impressed.

I don’t understand why they put the charging outlet in the back of an electric car. I don’t want to back in every time I charge it.

I wonder what would happen if a bagpiper really tried that?

‘Taint nuttin’ wrong wit da pipes, laddie!

Gang-green!

That’s Scotland

Electrics don’t pay road use taxes, so they have to suffer the noise of bagpipes while recharging for free.

Try this for something different:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-Op1Mng4oY

Guy in Finland blew up his 2013 Tesla {which he apparently bought used} rather than pay €20,000 for a new battery

And now, for something completely different…it’s… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIpNs3jrfc0

PDQ Bach described a bagpipe method as suck, blow, pump, twiddle. Or something close to that.

A Bagpipe looks and sounds like a man holding a cat under his arm while he bites the cat’s tail.

Fun fact: there are two musical instruments aboard the ISS as part of its permanent equipment: an acoustic guitar and a set of bagpipes.