Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 30, 2018

Was the banjo player playing Amazing Grace, because Rat was lost but now he’s found.

You are forgiven my son.

Frankly, the banjo sounds better than the post office line!

Now if he’d been playing “Goodbye, England’s Rose” in waltz time on the accordion…

Then he was accompanied by the accordionist and the bagpipist.

Oh, no. You’re not quite at the “hell” level yet, Rat. That happens when you’re waiting in an extremely long line at the post office and along comes another banjo player…and for the next hour they proceed to “banjo duel” it out. I’ve also had similar experiences with people playing pianos while I’m waiting to board a flight.

It’s even worse when you see the banjo player’s picture on the wall of the post office.

(but I guess they stopped doing that)

Best way to tune a banjo? Wire cutters…

Best way to tune a banjo? Tighten the G-string ’till it breaks, then tighten the others to match…

What’d the banjo player get on his SAT? Drool…

How many banjo player does it take to eat a ’possum? Three. One to eat the ’possum and two to watch for traffic.

Why’d the, ahem…, Polish fellow take up playing the banjo? For the money…

Want me to continue?

Reminds me of the scene from M*A*S*H where the guy says “Father, can I make a confession?” “Of course, my son.” “I killed somebody…. tomorrow!”

1st of all there’s not reason to stand in line at the post office, unless you need some of theirfree Bubble envelopes for properly packing your ebay shipment.

I thought Rat thought the accordion was the music instrument of hell. https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2012/6/21

There’s nothing horribly wrong with banjos or accordions, but I personally think the keytar is the instrument of heaven!

This is so unrealistic. Who goes to the post office?

So would you have preferred a Mariachi Band?

When I see someone playing a banjo, I wait in anticipation for them to play the music from the movie “Deliverance”. (Dueling Banjos).

You’re forgiven, Mr. Swaggart.

If you hear banjo music…go to Fedex

…Banjos were taken off the right track by 1950s and 60s pizza restaurant and amusement park operators!

The banjo doesn’t seem to have done Steve Martin’s career any harm. And who knows, maybe Martin was right thinking it could’ve saved Nixon’s, too.

Relax, Rat. I guarantee Pete Seeger is in heaven.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwki4C6w7JU “Banjo Players in Heaven” by the Austin Lounge LIzards… pretty much sums it up!!!

An “outdoorsy” friend of mine once wore the following t-shirt: “Paddle faster, I hear banjos!”

Your room is right in here maestro. Gary Larson. (I don’t know how to attach the image)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhjsEayry2E

Should have tipped him $5 to stop playing.

A sentence you will never hear, ‘the banjo players Porsche’. Johnny Carson

LOL! LOL!

Shhh … Rat’s had his “road to Damascus” moment.

The difference between a Banjo and a Porsche? You can tune a Porsche. Just Banjo player humor

If Pig was with you there could have been the line “squeal like a pig”

Then the banjo player says “bend over and squeal like a pig”.

Rat has never heard Don Reno.

Any instrument played poorly can be annoying, but almost any instrument played really well has something to offer (though it may take some time to appreciate). On the other hand, where did the guy get a milk crate??

Reminds me of one of my favorite youtube videos. Search for Josh Williams and Mordecai. Something funny happens during the song.

Rat has obviously never heard Washington Square, one great instrumental recording. Now, as to the bagpipes, that’s another story.

Gentleman: a man who can play the banjo but does not.

Perfect Pitch, n. The ability to throw an accordion into a dumpster so that it lands directly on the banjo.

God and Rat are ancient allies. Remember the plagues?

DMV line is worse!

That’s right Rat Banjoes is the devils music. But just wait when they bring in the ukuleles and bagpipes also for all eternity. Repent now Rat

Rat apparently isn’t used to city life.

Goat is correct. Banjos are okay. Free busking is okay. Rat is overacting again….

A few years ago, I found and purchased a DVD of “Tom Terrific,” a cartoon that ran on “Captain Kangaroo.” This was one of the earliest TV cartoons ever. It was good, but it was CHEAP! The music was provided by a banjo and an accordion.

Quickly followed by Peruvian pan pipes…

Next, someone sits down with him and starts playing the spoons. hee hee hee!!

Why would Rat, of all characters, acknowledge his own sin?

GET GARD DUCK GO BLOW IT UP!