Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 30, 2016

Oh my God! Rat is being honest about himself!

Try using a hacksaw, Rat.

Try hypnotizing yourself… or perhaps a therapy?

Surprisingly candid assessment.

What? Rat being honest and self-aware?

I have to admit, Rat, sometimes I have felt that way too.

aww, he’s being candid and honest enough that I feel sympathy for him, and he even made it to the 4th panel without screwing that up!

Is that Rat???? What happened to his Everyone-Sucks-I’m-The-Perfect-Guy? The surgery side effect?

I could suggest a few ways, Rat. Some are more painful than others (see the verses of Dorothy Parker for a hint), but all would be extremely and permanently effective….

His analysis was correct…he factored it down to the one common denominator…..but the ME should be below the line.

Don’t remember Rat every dating………………

What have you done with Rat? Check for pods.

He’s overlooking the other common factor: all his dates were women.

Oh, no. Self-awareness. The final step in Artificial Intelligence.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine….

Have a pretty split personality

Insert lyrics to Mercy Me’s “So Long Self”…it fits!

Sometimes I wish Rat’s parents had had a “failed romantic relationship”!…BUT, if that had happened, there’d be no “PB4S”, & Steph would have to go back to being a lawyer…HE doesn’t like that idea either!

Rat is the commonest factor I know.

Hey! I resemble that!

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0535/6917/products/dysfunctiondemotivator.jpeg

I sometimes choose not to comment when others have already made my point, but this is too astonishing to bypass — Rat being introspective? Anybody checking the thermostats in Hell?

You enter the Twilight Zone, that’s all. See you there. We can have a smoke with that guy who died of smoking.

I wonder if Taylor Swift reads this comic.

You know. you know how it is with me, babyYou know I just can’t stand myself.It takes a whole lotta medicine, darling,For me to pretend that I’m somebody else.—Randy Newman

It’s called six down and three across, Rat.

This is what Taylor Swift and Christie Brinkley should ask themselves.

As Lucy once said to Charlie Brown, “The fact that you realize you have a problem indicates that you are not too far gone.”

What about Farina and Christmas tree girl?

Or you could try being a better person. Of course, Pig will probably have his pilot’s licence by then.