Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 11, 2020


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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 10 months ago

    Life right now is an effing nightmare.

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    Bilan  10 months ago

    It’s a little odd for Goat to be encouraging Pig to be positive when he’s working on a martini.

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    Sherlock Watson  10 months ago

    Sing along with Sherlock: “When you’re down and out, lift up your head and shout, HELP!”

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    B UTTONS  10 months ago

    Pig – life doesn’t look good in the negative. Listen to Rover.

    Now, drink this apple martini and today may feel better.

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    Robin Harwood  10 months ago

    It helps by relieving the agony of uncertainty.

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    dadoctah  10 months ago

    Only thing positive about me is my blood type.

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    Troglodyte  10 months ago

    Sure it helps, Pig…in a manner of speaking!

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    Sanspareil  10 months ago

    Life is a bowl of scorpions, and then you die!

    If you can wrangle anything better than that then you are in the lucky zone!

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    cdward  10 months ago

    Always look on the bright side of life

    (do do, do do do do do do)

    Always look on the bright side of life

    (do do, do do do do do do)

    Life’s a piece of XXit,

    When you look at it

    Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true

    You’ll see it’s all a show

    Keep ‘em laughin’ as you go

    Just remember that the last laugh is on you

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    Steverino Premium Member 10 months ago

    I was feeling sad and miserable, and nothing was going well, when a voice from the heavens said “cheer up, things could be worse”.

    So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.

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    John Smith  10 months ago

    I remember the good old days when Pastis use to try to make us happy instead of depressed. It time for PBS to go the route of Peanuts – the artist dies and all the old funny strips get endlessly recycled.

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    e.groves  10 months ago

    All the bars are closed where I live. So I guess Pig ain’t got it so bad.

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    Imaginarium  10 months ago

    Pig please stay away from the Debbie Downer pills ! … Croc Power !

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    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member 10 months ago

    A cocktail. Goat’s got the right idea about positive reinforcement.

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    Willywise52 Premium Member 10 months ago

    It’s really GOOD not to be positive right now.

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    lv2sew  10 months ago

    A cousin sent me this one: Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

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    Ksandler4570  10 months ago

    Life is what we choose it to be. As always Goat is right. When you think of all of the positives, your life will get better. #choosehappy

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    Zebrastripes  10 months ago

    Take one day at a time! Who knew in the year of 2020, we would be scrambling for food, TP and hugs from our loved ones?

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    Denver Reader Premium Member 10 months ago

    Unoriginal Classic joke

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    EllisAmirRogersArcher  10 months ago

    Life ain’t fair, bub.

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    Bruce1253  10 months ago

    Here’s a little song I wrote

    You might want to sing it note for note

    Don’t worry, be happy

    In every life we have some trouble

    When you worry you make it double

    Don’t worry, be happy

    Don’t worry, be happy now

    - Bobby McFerrin

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    zeexenon  10 months ago

    Time to review his Dale Carnegie books, especially the one that paraphrases everyting is irie.

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    Blot  10 months ago


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    Shades O’Grady  10 months ago

    It helps to know that this too shall pass

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    DCBakerEsq  10 months ago

    This really is a sorry excuse for a pandemic. I was promised the Zombie Apocalypse and all I got was governmental recriminations, toilet paper shortages and binge watching Tiger King.

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    crocman48  10 months ago

    A little humor would be nice these days and that means crocs!!Dance with who bring ya SP

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    TarchonEtruscan  10 months ago

    Add hyenas to your menagerie to provide canned laughter.

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    Solaricious Premium Member 10 months ago

    Ha! I’ve been using that joke for years, though my response is usually “I’m positive we’re doomed”

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    asrialfeeple  10 months ago

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    thelost wizard  10 months ago

    Life’s a bitch. Then you die. No change.

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    WF11  10 months ago

    Sorry if this is a repeat; I didn’t go through all the previous comments. Anyway, I believe that this was courtesy of The Three Stooges:

    “Only a fool is positive!”

    “Are you sure?”

    “I’m positive!”

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    PBS1!  10 months ago

    You’ll get lost in there

    Stay positive!

    I’m positive you’ll get lost in there

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    SpacemanSpiff Premium Member 10 months ago

    Is every body ok in this horrible time in the worlds history? Im looking for some comfort.

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    Call me Ishmael  10 months ago

    “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation”. – H.D. Thoreau

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    Sisyphos  10 months ago

    Pig is, I suspect, what they call an idiot-savant….

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    kittygatos  10 months ago

    A friend sent me this yesterday, it sure broke me up;

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    ___  4 months ago

    you have no idea how bad life will get.

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