Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 05, 2019


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  1. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 9 months ago

    Is Rat going to be his own lawyer?

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member 9 months ago

    This came up locally, recently. A hearse driver was using the car-pool lane, and when pulled over, claimed the dead guy as a passenger. Cop was not amused.

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    Martin I  9 months ago

    I would think it would be especially important to get the deceased to the graveyard without delay.

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  4. Download
    Kaladin Stormblessed  9 months ago

    “Mama, just killed a man,

    Put a gun against his head,

    Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead,"

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    chris_weaver  9 months ago

    But, your Honor, my case belongs in Traffic Court!

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    kaffekup   9 months ago

    Sorry, Rat. He was a person when you killed him.

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    rk  9 months ago

    Was this Steph, after one too many bad puns?

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    hariseldon59  9 months ago

    You dirty Rat!

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    JasonBall  9 months ago

    This one’s darker than usual, and that’s saying something.

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    Hugh B. Hayve  9 months ago

    A corpse is a corpse of course, of course…

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    EcurbYkspohs  9 months ago

    Hummmmm …. Does the law state that it must be a living person ? Getting technical now ! Croc Power !

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    Troglodyte  9 months ago

    Rat does seem to have other, more er, interesting friends than Goat and Pig!

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    asrialfeeple  9 months ago

    They decided on the firing squad instead.

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  14. Al the fish cup
    alasko  9 months ago

    Ever been in a funeral home bathroom? They have his and hearse towels.

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    Zebrastripes  9 months ago

    Seems twos a crowd here….

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    NoSleepTil_BKLYN  9 months ago

    Our prisons are over-crowded with idiots who really do think like that. (I know because I had a couple in my family)

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    Robin Harwood  9 months ago

    It might be a good idea to get a second legal opinion on that, Rat.

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  18. Gentbear3b1a
    Gent  9 months ago

    Oh no! Looks like Rat hit Pastis too hard this time.

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    Waittilnxyr  9 months ago

    Today’s strip should win a prize of some sort.

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    YippiKiAyMofo  9 months ago

    Dead people count in Chicago. Well, they vote, anyway.

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    aerotica69  9 months ago

    Don’t you just hate it when you get pulled over and the cop notices the dead body in the back seat?

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    walstib  9 months ago

    Can a pregnant woman use the carpool lane?

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    johndifool  9 months ago

    Bernie, is that you?

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    Snoots  9 months ago

    But Officer, he’s not dead. He’s just pinin’ for the f’jords!

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    Carl Rennhack Premium Member 9 months ago

    Rat won’t get the chair? AW NUTS! I was looking forward to the Dead End Kids asking Father Jerry, “Did Rat really die like a rat?”!!!

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  26. Egil skallagrimsson
    Kveldulf  9 months ago

    In Niagara-on-the-Lake (Ontario, Canada) there is an impressive mansion at the north end of Queen Street where it curves west to avoid Lake Ontario. It was built at the beginning of the last century for a very successful lawyer from Buffalo named Penny. When the Depression struck, Mr. Penny was ruined and hanged himself from the chandelier in the stairwell.

    Because he was an American citizen who had died in Canada, his family now faced double death duties so his grown sons packed him into the back of their Pierce-Arrow and high-tailed it to the border.

    When they crossed the bridge, the Customs Inspector asked, “What’s the matter with him?”

    “Oh, he is intoxicated.”


    My parents live next door from 1985 to 1999 (in a much more ordinary house) and I heard this story from both the woman who owned it at that time and from a gentleman who had “married” the previous owner, had moved out on that man’s death, and who used to walk his dogs past the house every day.

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    thelost wizard  9 months ago

    Well, technically, very few of the characters who appear in this strip are persons.

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    codedaddy  9 months ago

    Sorry officer, but my passenger was dying to get home.

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    (Yes, I am a nerd.)  9 months ago

    I wonder who the body was. Steph? A Croc? Rat Clone? Neighbor Bob?

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    WCraft Premium Member 9 months ago

    Is this a Schrodinger’s corpse dilemma? The thing in the back is alternately not/is a person until the cop checks.

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    Concretionist  9 months ago

    Rat gets “The Trap” not “The Chair”

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    Sisyphos  9 months ago

    PBS characters are such thoughtful sophists! Socrates wold really have had fun destroying Rat’s argument….

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    djhaisell Premium Member 9 months ago

    Hospital board: “Misuse of the cadavers…”

    Dr. Nick: “I get to work faster if I use the carpool lane.”

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    weatherford.joe  9 months ago

    What have you done, Rat?

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  35. Copy of logo dodgers
    jrdub Premium Member 9 months ago

    As if torn from this weeks headlines…..

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