That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 13, 2022

Little Boy Blue got tired of blowing his horn for the sheep. Now, he was just going to blow the sheep away.

Man keeping an eye on his teenage daughter as she sunbathes.

Number 1 in Great Moments In Phallic Portraiture

Sometimes a rifle is just a rifle! Lets hope he doesn’t get fired!

Those German shepherds meant business – nobody was going to rustle their sheep.

Neil never made it as a sniper. For some reason, everybody could tell he was hiding on the hill.

“I may have to carry a gun, but they can’t make me use it!”

/// This shy soldier is on outpost duty.

“His” male comrades don’t know she’s a beauty.

When she fires her rifle,

lustful throbs she must stifle

with the hot barrel nearby her booty.

Accidents statistics? What are you talking about, Bill? And , by, the way, why did you just sent me this “State your pronouns” form?

He couldn’t figure out why the scope on his rifle made everything smaller and look farther away.

“Next time,” the sniper thought, “I’ll sit upwind from the flatulence convention.”

Oh, a backshooter, eh?

“You must be very very quiet when hunting rabbits.” It was fortunate that Elmer didn’t follow his uncle’s suggestion that you also needed a blue hat with matching cape.

The Highwayman before riding to the old Inn door…

Some might say that Fred’s attraction to his rifle was a bit “unnatural”

Do you have a rifle in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

This sniper’s point of view is backwards, and he doesn’t seem to understand the scope of his situation.

Imitation: “The Fool on the Hill”

VERSE:

Say, do you know, alone on that hill

The boy with the thick woolen wrap

Attempts to keep warm in the chill

Nobody wants outpost night duty

It’s the job for a low-ranking fool

But he never dares to complain —

.

REFRAIN:

But the fool on the hill

Watches the cold nights away

Knows his duty’s to keep

Opposing forces away.

.

What does he think, alone on that hill?

Does he think of his mother

And his younger siblings at home still?

Warm in their beds, peaceful

He wishes he were there, too

But he keeps alert, watching —

.

That young fool on the hill

Thinks of the girl left behind

And the love they have shared

It obsesses his mind.

When at Jena Napoleon won/

He thought that the Prussians were done/

He marched into Berlin/

With a triumphant grin../

But the struggle had only begun..///

This chap is a patriot true/

Festooned in a proud Prussian blue/

And you may think he’s lyin’/

But it’s you who’ll be cryin’/

If you’re French, he’s a-comin’ for you…///

He was never a militarist/

But this country is his – and he’s pi$$ed !///

When you get back from Russia/

He’s ready to crush ya../

An ironic historical twist..///

When you’re winning at Waterloo/

And the British are pretty much through/

He will show up again -

(Forty thousand good men !)/

And this time, the loser is…you.

Jimmy didn’t really like scratching his nether regions with his hands so he grabbed the first thing he could find. AHHHH..relief!

Fergus MacManly, thinking: " All this Covid social distancing restriction nonsense is making being in the Army a lonely job. Where’s all the camaraderie? Where are my old brothers-in-arms? The only thing I get to hold in my arms is this d@mn rifle!"

Is this what became of our Little Boy Blue? / So cute as a child, but he grew. / When awake, his skill with a horn / Kept the sheep and the cows out of the corn, / Now an inept sentry, with a gun he doesn’t know how to use.

With any luck, people would think it was his rifle that made that terrible noise.

Given the date, that “rifle” is almost certainly a smoothbore musket.

Hans loved his rifle. I mean he really loves his rifle.

A member of the not-so-feared 22nd rifle yoga brigade

Hot stuff!

“Theirs was a forbidden love, doomed from the start…”

“Sure is freakin’ cold up here.”

“This is my rifle; this is my gun….”

Meryl Streep auditioning for her next role.

This is my rifle

And it’s my gun

It’s a helluva lot bigger

Than the one used for fun

(And it never goes off half cocked)

Mortally wounded, Neil decided to hasten the end by breathing in his deadly atrocious breath.

On Outpost: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Auf Vorposten (1829) by Georg Friedrich Kersting" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the first Google text string, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly A5 paper size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2993 (September 13, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 4 works by this artist have been used here (4 times total, including 1 repeat of the December 20, 2011, strip with 2 works). The July 19, 2012, strip has the prior.

keeping downwind from the pray was not enough, he had to curtail his breath.

You removed the fruit from my hat; why are you still considering naming the painting “still life”?

Close, but you still do not qualify for joining the blue man group.