Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 17, 2022

Goat was just being polite; he wanted to say that it sucked like a black hole.

You are supposed to fish for complements by attaching a fish hook to some part of his body.

Dorothy Parker said “I hate writing, but I love having written”

Rat says “I hate writing, but I love hating critics”

Never be friends with friends.

From writer’s block to writer knocking your block off!

Another “Adventures of the Buttocks”?

“It was certainly neither unsurpassed brilliance nor unparalleled genius, but I liked it…”

I wanna clobber a goat with a mallet!

“What a book!”

How do you annoy a writer? Be another writer.

Me never knews Rat was a sinister writer.

Arc fans I Ned some help here. Is it my imagination of this I’m not sure and I could use a little feed back. My question is that this strip (arc) seems to be awfully negative lately, I really don’t remember it being this bad. I remember it being pretty funny, not so of late. What do you think.

Goat, never volunteer information. The correct answer would have been, “Yes, I read it. My, look at the time, I have to go somewhere and do something, and I’m running late.”

Writers and cartoonists have similar delusions.

I’m always thrilled when someone says they liked what I wrote. Then I asked if they wrote a review.

There is nothing wrong with Rat’s ego, except being overly large. It is unsurpassed and could be considered brilliant.

Yeah, my response to my aspiring-writer-friend’s question basically destroyed our friendship. In my defense, his premise was deeply flawed.

“The moving finger writes and having writ moves on..” Rat, having writ, does not.

What an ungrateful brat.

“Yeah I liked it.” Code for “No I Didn’t read it.”

My wife is writing a novel, so I can’t wait to see her reaction to this strip. It’s a keeper!

RATs expectations are astounding and pounding…..

Rat is Putin, and Goat is Ukraine, no matter what Goat says, he’ll still receive the wrath of Putin.

Hey you wanna a dark joke,

how did the black hole lose so much weight?

he ate light.

Why dont black holes get good grades?

Because they arent bright enough

The writer who resents the reader for not appreciating his work is like the chef who resents a diner for not appreciating his food. In either case, the possibility exists that they both offered up slop.

The title of the book was “How To Build A Better Mousetrap”

Compliments means less when beaten out of a person….

Never be friends with someone who enjoys carrying around a giant mallet. Where’d he even get that thing?

" It occurred to me that your manuscript would make nice toilet paper".

Writer must be Trump

Every writer needs a scapegoat.

Why doesn’t Goat have hooves?

Handy phrases when asked that question: “I found it to be uniquely, you.” “I’ve never enjoyed any of your work, more than this one.” “You have outdone yourself this time.” “It’s grandeur, left me speechless.”

Forthright rejection letter: “I am sitting in the smallest room in my house. Your manuscript is before me. Soon it shall be behind me.”

But, did it sell enough to join our top 10% Club?

…or a brilliant cartoonist!

BRILLIANT Cartoonist!

I am not a writer, but I am a dedicated and rather good, if I say so myself, amateur photographer. I appreciate both positive and negatives critiques, as long as the latter provide constructive criticism.

You don’t have to be brilliant to be successful. See Stephen King, who has been phoning it in since the late 80s.

I’ve got two words for you, Rat. ‘Dickie Cockroach’. Need more of a reminder? Okay, you’re ‘Dickie Cockroach’ book sucked so badly not only were you the only person to buy it but at the book signing everyone flocked to get Stephan’s autograph and ignored you. (Of course this was back when Pastis’s in strip avatar wasn’t depicted as a looser and looked more like Jef the Cyclist without the spandex)

You should know better, Goat; Rat can’t handle criticism at all.

Maybe Goat has just fallen.

Rat is dangerously monomaniacal, and dangerous with bat or hammer. But sometimes he does a necessary good (as when he punishes Cartoon-Boy for his outrageous puns). Goat probably did not deserve this, though….

Why the hammer?

This comment is unsurpassed brilliance and unparalleled genius. Go ahead – say it.

I wonder if Stephan if projecting here using Rat.