Now a days all toasters come internet enabled so some one out there has an algorithm that determines you need more bread and feeds you ads for bread ( forever )
Back in the 60’s we had an old toaster. It had two doors, one on each side. You put a slice of bread on a door and closed it. You had to watch it so the bread didn’t burn. When one side was done you opened the door and the bread slid out, toasted side down and you closed the door and toasted the other side. I think it was major entertainment on weekend mornings.
Want a new toaster? Just let a child try to make grilled cheese or PB on toast with a toaster. Neither one bodes well. Oh, and be sure you dial 9-1 and keep your finger hovering above the 1 key while they’re doing it. (For those that can’t figure out why, the clue is “Do not be surprised when they a). Combine steps and/or b). Get the steps out of order.”)
It would seem, in this advanced and fancy age, that it would be possible to buy a toaster with a colorimetric sensor that would detect the “brown-ness” of the toast rather than using a simple timer or heat sensor. Also, I’m sure applied physics would allow the use of infra-red diffusers which would produce uniform heat distribution. I’m not expecting it to cost $19.99 but it would certainly have a market somewhere. (Degrees in Chemistry and Physics with a minor in Frustration)
I am reminded of my father, a dry land farmer. He said that irrigating crops looked like a lot of work and he’d rather sit around and wait for it to rain anyway
This brings to mind a passage from one of Bill Bryson’s books (I’m paraphrasing): My father was the last man in the Midwest to buy an air conditioner. He thought air conditioning was unnatural. He thought anything that cost more than $30 was unnatural.
BE THIS GUY about 3 years ago
Mom should have a say in this.
dadthedawg about 3 years ago
There’s nothing worse than…..a dumb toaster.
in.amongst about 3 years ago
Aye Calvin, these ‘larger perspective’ guys are a really hard boiled lot.
oldpine52 about 3 years ago
Maybe Calvin should have turned the bread over before trying the second time.
EasternWoods about 3 years ago
Now a days all toasters come internet enabled so some one out there has an algorithm that determines you need more bread and feeds you ads for bread ( forever )
sirbadger about 3 years ago
The worst is when the toast fails to pop up and then smoke starts coming out of the toaster.
cleokaya about 3 years ago
Dad might give consideration to trading you in though
Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member about 3 years ago
This could be a Stupendous Man task.
Concretionist about 3 years ago
Just use the microwave…
codycab about 3 years ago
Let’s not teach him how to make grilled cheese.
Kind&Kinder about 3 years ago
Stop complaining, Calvin, or you’ll be toast!
Ivy Valory Premium Member about 3 years ago
I think I will adopt Dad’s outlook — And yet, somehow, live goes on. No use getting my knickers in a twist.
EasternWoods about 3 years ago
Back in the 60’s we had an old toaster. It had two doors, one on each side. You put a slice of bread on a door and closed it. You had to watch it so the bread didn’t burn. When one side was done you opened the door and the bread slid out, toasted side down and you closed the door and toasted the other side. I think it was major entertainment on weekend mornings.
rentier about 3 years ago
He is a skinflint!!
Susan00100 about 3 years ago
How about this thought, Dad: if you were to meet your Maker today, life would STILL go on!
su43dipta about 3 years ago
Larger perspectives build character…and save money!
Display about 3 years ago
Want a new toaster? Just let a child try to make grilled cheese or PB on toast with a toaster. Neither one bodes well. Oh, and be sure you dial 9-1 and keep your finger hovering above the 1 key while they’re doing it. (For those that can’t figure out why, the clue is “Do not be surprised when they a). Combine steps and/or b). Get the steps out of order.”)
Algolei I about 3 years ago
As soon as I find my baseball bat, life for that toaster is over.
jagedlo about 3 years ago
Dad doesn’t want to waste his bread on a thing that toasts bread…
JoeStoppinghem Premium Member about 3 years ago
Let me know when you find a good 4 slice toaster. Haven’t found one yet.
uniquename about 3 years ago
Thus we have a larger perspective within the larger perspective.
MS72 about 3 years ago
Got a toaster oven. Much better toast and i can get 6 at a time, …, if i ever want to.
Troglodyte about 3 years ago
It’s a fine line between parsimony and philosophy, young Cal!
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member about 3 years ago
There are two types of people who have antiques. The ones who can afford them and the ones who can’t afford to get rid of them.
dflak about 3 years ago
We refer to these kinds of events as “First World Problems.”
e.groves about 3 years ago
Why do toasters have burn settings?
david_42 about 3 years ago
Our current toaster has a “bagel” setting, which does nothing. Even said so in the instructions, but not the ad.
A R V reader about 3 years ago
Cheapskate Father,“Burnt toast builds character.”
yangeldf about 3 years ago
it took me YEARS to get my mom to replace our crappy old toaster
Otis Rufus Driftwood about 3 years ago
This seems like user error, not a worn out tester.
Snolep about 3 years ago
Obla di obla da.
SHEEP on gocomics! about 3 years ago
wow. what a bad toaster. never had that happen to me!
j.l.farmer about 3 years ago
just take a knife and scrap off the burnt side of the toast.
DanWolfie about 3 years ago
My dad tends to be like that, often with a sardonic/rude “Oh well!”
Lightpainter Premium Member about 3 years ago
I can’t believe that Dad doesn’t realize that burning the toast is a sure sign of the Apocalypse.
mistercatworks about 3 years ago
It would seem, in this advanced and fancy age, that it would be possible to buy a toaster with a colorimetric sensor that would detect the “brown-ness” of the toast rather than using a simple timer or heat sensor. Also, I’m sure applied physics would allow the use of infra-red diffusers which would produce uniform heat distribution. I’m not expecting it to cost $19.99 but it would certainly have a market somewhere. (Degrees in Chemistry and Physics with a minor in Frustration)
Ray Helvy Premium Member about 3 years ago
Next, Dad will explain how to turn the bread around before toasting it the second time, to “even it out”.
PaulLeckner about 3 years ago
Oh, if that was the worst trouble I had to deal with, I would thank my lucky stars.
oldlady07 Premium Member about 3 years ago
I am reminded of my father, a dry land farmer. He said that irrigating crops looked like a lot of work and he’d rather sit around and wait for it to rain anyway
Scott S about 3 years ago
How wonderful is life when you’re 6 years old. While downsizing, planned obsolescence, creeping obesity, etc. are all still meaningless concepts.
smsrt about 3 years ago
Ahh… the genius of Calvin.
the great calvini about 3 years ago
life isn’t easy calvin i spill water sometimes, but eventually you learn to roll with it
Santaanacanyon1 about 3 years ago
…backstage, Dad is laughing his head off!
BamCat about 3 years ago
This brings to mind a passage from one of Bill Bryson’s books (I’m paraphrasing): My father was the last man in the Midwest to buy an air conditioner. He thought air conditioning was unnatural. He thought anything that cost more than $30 was unnatural.
hagarthehorrible about 3 years ago
Beneath that dumb toaster there is a guy who does not go for the new sibling for obvious reasons…
Godzilla The King of the Monsters about 3 years ago
This is the exact reason people put toasters in bathtubs.
They’re evil.
Zardy about 3 years ago
i’ve been there, calvin
GiladMarcus almost 3 years ago
I like calvins face. HA HA!