Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 23, 2020

a turtle was mugged by a gang of slugs. when he was asked by police to describe events he said " I don’t know…it all happened so fast"

Call Geico. 15 minutes will save you 15% or more on shell insurance.

Sergeant Pepper is taking down their stories. Peacefully. Being snails, they are both avoiding asalt.

They were going to slug it out until the cop get there.

Reckless driving. He was doing 0.00026 in an 0.00025 zone!

Don’t forget to measure the skid marks, officer.

I do so love the comments here.

Wow, looks like that turned into a real slug fest.

So if 2 snails crash into each other they turn into slugs?

If he doesn’t waste time, the cop can recreate the accident by tracing the slime trail before it dries.

A trip to the Shell station soon.

The accident was captured on video but it’s going to take a couple of hours to view it.

“There I was, just proceeding down the lane at a moderate pace, when all of a sudden this madman crosses over the center line and just plows into me head-on! There was nothing I could do.”

A guy hears a knock on his door. He opens it… no-one’s there, but there’s a snail on the stoop looking at him. The guy picks it up and throws it as hard as he can.

A year later, there’s a knock at the same guy’s door. He opens it… no-one’s there, but he looks down and there’s a snail on the stoop. The snail says “what did you go and do that for?”

Well, at least the officer doesn’t have to deal with another high speed chase. The other day, this maniac was doing 100 centimeters an hour down the main drag.

That’s a lot of damage for a low speed collision.

Another day when the comments are funnier than the strip!

How did they get out alive? In fact, how did they get out at all?

Snails have no hands, how’s he writing up his report?(And don’t tell me: “Touch screen”. They don’t work for snails unless they have a slime protector on them.)

It’s not totaled, they can sell it as a Duplex.

They both will have to shell out a lot of money to fix the damage…

You should have seen that S car go!!

What’s the difference between a tornado and a redneck divorce?

Nothing, either way someone is going to lose a house trailer.

“After he blamed me for the wreck, he threatened me with Assault Shaker”

This is what happens when two mobile homes collide.

I usually takes the traffic cop a long time to arrive at an accident, but I bet this was a REALLY long time.

They have blow up your own airbags.

LOL

Call Jake from State Farm!

Sluggo is lit…

The sign said MERGE.

“It all happened so fast, officer…”

Arrest them both for indecent exposure.

You see officer, we were actually trying to mate, and well, things got a little rough, if you know what I mean!

interesting…tailgating snails

How can two snails slug it out?