Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 07, 2020

Okay, let’s sing “The Unicorn” by the Irish Rovers.

Noah cried, “Close the doors ‘cause the rain is pourin’, And we just can’t wait for no Unicorns.”

https://youtu.be/_EPsuOEH1fY

But you’d think Sasquatch would know better.

And that, kids, is why we have no Unicorns running around today…..Nor any Wookies.

I wonder what other creatures “Missed the Boat”!

Liiiiike – Mermaids!!! (Smirk!)

No leprechauns?

I so miss the little gray guys that built the pyramids.

I’m curious about what happened to the jackalope.

It’s always fun to make fun of ridiculous mythologies. (Line up to take your shots now.)

The Duck-Billed Platypus did not get on the boat, but did get off it.

Originality vs Addams ripoff.

We don’t have myths about the flood here in the US like many of the peoples and tribes in this world, but we do have the Bible that Archeology has confirmed as true, neither myth nor theory, in many of it’s discoveries. Read it

In the case of the two nearest the boat, just wait for the Falcon

Filled to capacity anyway, they were flooded with requests and the only way to get aboard is to Noah guy…

and Ham no Shem about begging.

Nowadays I’d prefer to take my chances on the land… since the flood is a myth anyway…

Bitter irony for those who enjoyed an extended cruise in the last 9 months.

But I still have the same question as always. All those animals plus the people: which poor soul got to change the papyrus in the litter boxes?

Even Big Foot getting on?

the logistics of such a tale make it impossible…. but I guess faith is believing in something when

common sense tells you not to…….got that line from ‘Miracle on 34th Street’

So, the only way that a few folks had the ability to assemble two of every single animal on Earth and keep

them confined for a month and a half in boat large enough to house them all and have enough food and drinking

water to keep them all alive is to believe divine intervention suspended physics and reality.

Seems to me the Bible, and religions in general, are about god and not of god. They are creations of man, by man, about man and for man’s purposes. Can any of us really contemplate god without any of our religious preconceptions? Turn off everything your religion ever taught you about god and then go seek your own truth. IT’s not that the bible, and other texts, have nothing of value, they do, but they were written in their time and of their time to suit their time.

Is that Big Foot that’s paying attention to the unicorns?

Fantasy.

Noah was an admirable man, but did he really have to include the gnats and mosquitoes? Couldn’t there be bird food that is non-biting?

With or without a Sasquatch or Unicorn, Noah’s Ark gave new meaning to the term “Poop Deck.”

It must take enormous strength to be a biblical literalist, because you have to keep your mind firmly closed, resisting all the forces of science, nature, logic, and reason, which are constantly trying to force it open and let in the light.

Today’s strip confuses me. Unicorns, the abominable snowman and Noah’s ark are all mythological. What does this have to do with extinction theory?

i think it is truly fascinating that there is still talk of the biblical legends as being the truth. though, in these uncertain times some folks take comfort in believing in a black and white world, no shades of grey, with a god telling them what to do and what to think.

That isn’t the way I heard the story. Unicorns, as everyone knows, were magical creatures. The only people who could approach, much less catch, a unicorn were virgins. Well, that let old Noah out what with him having all those sons (and, I am sure there were a few daughters in the mix). So, when he tried to get the unicorns on the ark, they ran away, and were left to fend for themselves in the impending storm. Well, the water came up, and the unicorns started to float on the water. Being magical creatures, they soon learned to swim. Not long after that, they traded in their legs and hooves for flippers and a tail. We know them today as the North Atlantic narwhal.

FUN FACT. Several longtime friends are convinced Noah’s Ark is a true story.

Meanwhile. In Scotland…

The Carnival “Arkess”

Here’s something that should be required reading for all of us – but certainly our “representatives” – AND members of the media:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued,

“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied,

“The one you feed.”

Didn’t matter anyway. Dodo birds got on and that only bought them a few hundred more years.

They should include dragons. Dragons are actually in the Bible, so I wonder if they didn’t get included in the ark? You know… This may explain the dinosaurs?

Glad the Wiley Bears made it on.

I know they’re not, but the unicorn’s companions look like Wookiees.

They were too smart to fall for that scam.

The Truth of the matter is that the Unicorns were still trying to decide Which Two of them would go when Noah realized he’d built the Arc too small and slammed the doors on them.

It’s too bad this thread got all mucked up with religion. I liked the brief Irish Rovers tack it started to take before the religion talk started and totally took over. Religion is an optional delusion.

One of my favorite takes on Noah’s ark is by Alden Erikson, who had a lot of his work published in Playboy. In this cartoon, Noah is slightly dismayed by the sight of an ostrich and a gorilla, arms around each other, standing in line as one of the couples waiting to board the ark.

Maybe the furry guy and gal is Ham and wife.

Forty days and forty nightsDidn’t it rain, childrenNot a speck of land in sightDidn’t it, didn’t it rainBut Noah built the ark so tightThey sailed on, childrenAnd when at last the waters recededAnd the dove brought back the olive tree leafHe landed that ship near Mount AraratAnd one of his children grabbed Noah’s robe and said“Hey Dad, how many animals on this old ark anyway, huh?”

Elementary, my dear, two time two is fourElementary, my dear, two time three is sixElementary, my dear, two time four is eightElementary, my dear, two time five is ten

Two times one is two, of courseAnd it must occur to youYou get an even numberEvery time you multiply by two

Looks like the ark worked.