Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 05, 2018

Don’t try to take on the “Band of Brothers”.

hopefully not Alfred Yankovic’s accordion, guard duck…. man’s a genius!

Overdressed? All you’re wearing is a helmet.

In accordion with all the instrumentalists at hand, and by the way, Duck with his military style tuba should be band, I believe Pig should be drummed into doing REAL service. Sorry to note, but the sax player is really horny, going up against the oboe player, o-boy. The guitarist should not be bassed anywhere near the piano player, who is obviously keyed to win; however, if he turns traitor, he should be stringed up. Must be a high flute-n battle. No organ donors are required, lest we all end up broken harp-ed. Judging by the images I have seen above, there is far less violins in this battle, which would make it less violins than usual, although I won’t fiddle with the details. Cello, and goodbye. And no one will have a trombone to pick with me.

What do you call it when you throw an accordion into a dumpster and it lands on a banjo?

A perfect pitch.

Use an accordion, go to jail, it’s the law!

Disclaimer: No bagpipes were harmed in the drawing of this comic (unfortunately).

GUARD DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where do they expect to find an inflatable accordion?

Bazooka the kazoos!

Accordions don’t play “Lady of Spain.” People do.

I like how Pig grew some stubble for the battle.

Lil’ Guard Duck has really quacked up this time!

Pastis is going to be haunted by the ghost of Myron Floren.

War Pigs

Is Little Guard Duck over compensating? Pig’s helmet has a snout strap, say that 3 times really fast. Yada yada.

If you didn’t have accordions how would you play a polka? The world needs more accordions.

A one anna two…

Guard Duck hates accordions because ah-one-and-ah-two messes up his marching cadence.

Yeah, Guard Duck is back in style!!!

Somehow it just doesn’t seem fitting to see comic expletive coming from Guard Duck.

Accordions are evil and must be destroyed.

I wonder about the musical ability of today’s bands. All they have these days are guitars, keyboards, and drum kits. Whatever happened to the brass, woods, and other stringed instruments? Seems like you can only find them in high school bands and symphony orchestras.

Look up “vote” in your ductionary, L’il Guard Duck. Better would be “I say…”

With any luck, an oboe might be collateral damage.

Tom Waits said it best: ‘A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn’t.’

It’s been a good few months (if not a year) since we’ve seen good old Guard Duck; all we need now is Snuffles.

I like the accordion, pipes, and polkas. I guess I’m one weird person.

Love that duck!

What does L’il Guard Duck have against Weird Al?

That’s o.k. The Who will smash a guitar on your head. And you’ll LIKE it!

Wonder why they stopped doing the battle of the bands at the local VFW.

Thank you Stephan. I have missed Guard Duck!!!

Welcome back, Li’l Guard Duck, sir! But your Righteous Wrath is misdirected. We have entirely too many electric guitars in the hands of one-chord wonders. Blow away a dozen of so of those instruments and we’ll all dance a joyful polka, or mazurka, or something….

Whatever the problem I’m sure Guard Duck will act “accordionly”!

I had a Honda Accord. It was rear-ended really badly. Now it is an Accordion.

If one of the band members play the keytar, don’t destroy it! That’s my dream instrument!

If they could take out Red Hot Chili Peppers and Bon Jovi I would be eternally grateful.

How about a xylophone?

KEEL THE ACCORDIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!