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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 08, 2020

69 Comments

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    BE THIS GUY Premium Member 9 months ago

    The Democrats can use Rat.

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    DanielRyanMulligan  9 months ago

    Rat is just like me: unemployable

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    Concretionist  9 months ago

    Change for the sake of change always reminds me of the bills…

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    Nachikethass  9 months ago

    That’s usually a good skill set to get you into upper management, especially in HR!

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    JasonBall  9 months ago

    Hey, everyone! FYI for those who didn’t see my comment yesterday: Pastis’ first film is out today! It’s called Timmy Failure. He co-wrote the screenplay, which is adapted from his series of hilariously funny children’s books. Everyone should go check it out and support him! It’s on Disney+, which means it’s free to watch for those of you that have it, and if you don’t have Disney+, it takes 5 minutes to get a free trial with which you can watch it. It’s great that our favorite cartoonist has gotten this incredible opportunity to write a Disney movie based on his work, so we all should support him. It’s a very enjoyable family comedy with lots of Pearls-style deadpan humor and wordplay.

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  6. Right here
    Sherlock Watson  9 months ago

    Rat also has the ability to raise morale; all he has to do is leave.

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    sirbadger  9 months ago

    He could hire rat to work with whistle blowers.

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    B UTTONS  9 months ago

    All I offered was to read the State of the Union speech, and reenact the speaker tearing up her copy.

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    Gent  9 months ago

    Nobody wants a rat infestation, Rat.

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    wesleylscott1  9 months ago

    Rat could never land a job with Michelle Obama, might he could possibly collaborate with Ludacris. “How Low Can You Go 2020.”

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    WMORAN1  9 months ago

    I was part of a big merger years ago. The agency that took us over promised to improve morale. About a third of the work force quit in the first year.

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    mail2jbl  9 months ago

    He sounds like he’d be a perfect fit to replace the Pointy-Haired Boss at the company where Dilbert works!

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    asrialfeeple  9 months ago

    Rats.

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    Imaginarium  9 months ago

    Rat look for a job at “Debbie Downer , Inc” you said you wanted bring down morale ;-)

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    nosirrom  9 months ago

    Rat can do the same thing with business morals.

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    Zebrastripes  9 months ago

    RAT wearing his interview tie! But it didn’t help him win friends and influence people….his big mouth is the issue….

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  17. Coexist
    Bookworm  9 months ago

    Before I retired, I had a little sign on my cubicle that read “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves.” One Halloween, some coworkers and I replaced the sign on the meeting room with one reading “The Beating Room” and hung a cat-o-nine-tails from the door knob. The HR person and the General Office Manager both got the joke, and the sign and the prop were moved to the HR office after Halloween.

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    EllisAmirRogersArcher  9 months ago

    What skills?

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    b95954297b48a54fcff8fddbcdef6b2f  9 months ago

    Problem solved.

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    kauri44  9 months ago

    I wish we could trade the proportion of Croc strips to the ones starring Rat. A little Rat goes a long, long way…

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    Cathie Fornssler  9 months ago

    The beatings will continue until morale improves!

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  22. Nowyoulisten
    zeexenon  9 months ago

    The whippings will continue until morale improves.

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  9 months ago

    So can Morals.

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  24. Calvin   hobbes   playtime in snow avatar flipped
    Andrew Sleeth Premium Member 9 months ago

    But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

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    Sisyphos  9 months ago

    You’ve got to adjust your Skill Set to the potential employer, you silly Rat!

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    LrdSlvrhnd  9 months ago

    That’s actually a pretty decent job skill. Hire somebody to bring morale down, then watch it skyrocket when you fire him after a month.

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    Tentoes  9 months ago

    Hey, Pastis! Congratulations on Timmy Failure. They sound like books I would have enjoyed reading to my little ones. (They are in their late 20s now.)

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