Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 01, 2024

A sentiment shared by the tv shows, house, Md, Sesame Street, and parks and recreation, to name several others…Dan aka…

How long did it take goat to put that hat on?

Rat has a point; there’s no such thing as Smart Day.

One advantage of paper hats is that you can get them over horns.

I hope this year goes better for my baseball team than last year.

Then again, having your worst season in over 30 years is hard to replicate.

Nobody does that in my neighborhood. Does that mean the morons learned their lesson, or that they all died while doing moronic things?

BTW, Happy ’24!

The fireworks have stopped where I am. I’m sure the dogs are happy.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

1st day of new year is a Moanday. This sure gonna be a great year me thinks. Happy 2024 frens. Now stops dreenking and gets back to works!

I worked in Columbus, Ohio years ago, and some knucklehead came out of the apartments next door with an AK-47 converted to full auto. He let loose 2 full magazines then split, that was the most insane thing I ever saw!

Life is tough, but it’s tougher if you’re stupid!

all our morons fire professional sky rockets from 3 in the afternoon until July 5th…

Plus, it’s a Monday.

And they breed like rats. No offense rat.

January 2nd that’s my birthday

Hopefully there will never be any AS (Artificial Stupidity). There’s already too much of the real stuff.

Sorry Guys, “Cows may come, and cows may go, but the ‘bull’ goes on forever”!

In all human history, people have not stopped acting like people.

I know a story about a moron with a gun. He had a pistol loaded with blank cartridges. He put it to his head and said something like, “I bet I don’t miss”. His last words. The blast blew bone fragments into his brain and killed him, in front of his shocked friends. Evolution strikes again, weeding the stupid from the race. I don’t know when or where this happened.

Hoping that morons stop acting like morons IS being optimistic. As well as unrealistic.

I noticed that Goat’s hat just says “New Year” — nothing happy there.

Rat should make a resolution to stop being such a narcissistic pinhead. Ah, who am I kidding? It’s Rat. He’s never gonna learn.

Rat speaks the truth

Happy New Year!

A big NOLA tradition, I spent $1500 2 months ago, patching my thick gage steel roof for what appears to be a bullet hole that came in from an angle. Still gotta redo the ceiling, where the leak came thru. Put women in charge. By the law of large #s they are not nearly as idiotic.

I have to agree with Rat on this one. Wow, that’s twice this week!

Sounds more like Tejas-which went on way after 2024.

I’m afraid rat is right!

“Once the rockets are up,

Who cares where they come down?

That’s not my department,”

Says Wernher von Braun.

—Tom Lehrer

I’m going to narrow it down – my hope is that moron drivers stop behaving like morons.

Not too long ago, a few days after Jan 1 when I had taken vacation time and not used my car, I noticed what I thought was bird poop or something on my hood. Turns out it was a slug. I left it there (it plugged the hole it made).

Years ago, I read an article about a young woman who was shot in the head. At least that’s what the first thoughts were. Turned out, some moron shot a gun up into the air and when it came down, it killed her.

What goes up must come down

Spinnin’ wheel got to go ’round

The 2nd Amendment: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

When will the “well regulated” part start?

Morons are year round. Rat nails it again.

You can say what you want about Southerners, but a majority of us know what happens when you shoot up. Those that do just don’t give a crap about anyone.

Unfortunately Rat’s right…

still surprised more people havent been hit. One hit my house once. Loud

Amen!!!!!!!

You know Rat, a bus driver told me he had a full bus one day and had to tell the people at the bus stop “No more on”!

Someone sent me “Seasons Beatings” as a greeting, I like it. An accurate description of the past month. I may use it from now on !!

Morons are eternal, boys. Happy New Year.

Sorry Rat, but, here in the great U. S. of A., it’s a Presidential election year and we morons elect only based on feelings, not facts.

Well, that comment threat deteriorated quickly. And predictably. Into the usual morass of deflection, puerile name calling, and racist fantasy. Score another one for Rat.

HIPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

I’m in agreement with Rat this time! ☹️

It’s amazing all the news stories about this happening. Does anybody ever get caught?

On the contrary goat, thinking there’s any possibility that morons will somehow stop acting like morons strikes me as the most ridiculously optimistic thing I’ve ever heard.

Challenge someone firing into the air to shoot absolutely straight up. But do it by calling them from the next county.

Spot on, Stephan; sadly so.

Our only hope is massive amounts of duct tape. It fixes anything, right?

I have an off the wall question. What happens when the lead comes back down? Can it be harmful or damaging?

MythBusters Episode 50: Bullets Fired UpPremier Date: April 19, 2006

Bullets fired into the air maintain their lethal capability when they eventually fall back down.BUSTED / PLAUSIBLE / CONFIRMED

In the case of a bullet fired at a precisely vertical angle (something extremely difficult for a human being to duplicate), the bullet would tumble, lose its spin, and fall at a much slower speed due to terminal velocity and is therefore rendered less than lethal on impact. However, if a bullet is fired upward at a non-vertical angle (a far more probable possibility), it will maintain its spin and will reach a high enough speed to be lethal on impact. Because of this potentiality, firing a gun into the air is illegal in most states, and even in the states that it is legal, it is not recommended by the police. Also the MythBusters were able to identify two people who had been injured by falling bullets, one of them fatally injured.

(This is the only myth to receive all three ratings at the same time.)

Rat is smothering in his own negativity.

Happy New Year!

In Memphis, this is very common. We play a game every holiday. Fireworks or Gunfire. I first became aware of the firing into the air at midnight when a car parked next to mine had a downward bullet hole through it’s back window and deep into its back seat. Security guard informed me how it happened. Couple of years later, sitting in my living room on NY Eve, at midnight, the neighbor downstairs stepped out into the courtyard and emptied a magazine in the air. I grabbed my shotgun, opened the window, and yelled at him “you missed”, chambered a round and said, “my turn”. He freaked out. Quite hilarious. These bullets come down and go through cars, roofs, and would put a hole in you skull if it hit you.

I shot an arow into the air…it fell to Earth I know not where….

At least nobody pressed any charges

Simple farmers, people of the land, and common clay of the new West are year round, you mean.