Close to Home by John McPherson for July 19, 2023

Looks like he got the shaft!

What gave you a clue doc.

that’s a BBQ wound

Joust a flesh wound

That’s what you get for amateur jousting.

A Nurse Practitioner response.

“I could cut that out, but it counts as surgery and the insurance company won’t cover that until we try everything else first. So take these pills for two weeks and if things don’t improve we’ll move on to physical therapy.”

“I told you jousting wasn’t as cool as it looks… um, we’re you riding your horse backwards again?”

Who’s been doing your acupuncture?

Ya think?

Let’s not be too hastilude…

First, please remove your shirt.

Too funny! What was his first clue?!

You were told not to vault the gate but did you listen …….

How would you describe how you feel? Does it feel like a stabbing pain?

Maybe he got distracted while officiating at a Track & Field meet? Bleeb? Dude! The OB/GYN office is down the hall.

Sadly, with the lawsuit-crazy culture, medical facilities almost have to be like this.

Spear me the small talk doc and get to the point!

No, sir, my nipple entered another dimension and came back like this. It’s a long story.

Looks like a pre-existing condition, therefore it’s not covered. Also, the doc would like to administer a tetanus shot, but the patient has suddenly developed a fear of needles.

Start him on a low-spear diet.

I think the doctor graduated 199th in his class of 200.

Ya think?

Yep, American Health Care in Action. Most expensive with mediocre results for a first world nation.

I think the comic colorist got all mixed up. Behind him is another green wall, both above and below the spear. It’s not a wall further away plus the floor.

“Describe the pain. Is it sharp, dull, stabbing?”

I see the wife ran out of pots against you…

“…I’d bet you’re looking at some kind of puncture wound.”

Actually, in the cartoon, he’s looking at the doctor.

“Hold still, you’re gonna feel a little stick.”

“Whhat mhakes you >WHEEEEZE!< say hthaaaat?”

Standing too near the Pequod again!?

Oh, and that battery of tests? It’ll break even your insurance company. But I don’t want to get sued for malpractice, so I’ve gotta be over-cautious.

Four years of Med School, two years of internship and a year in residency sure weren’t wasted on that Doc.

I want a second opinion

There’s gotta be SOME kind of pill for that! (“Ask your doctor!”)

When I experienced a kidney stone, it felt just like that patient!

The next time you need someone to…lance a boil, find someone not prone to hiccups.

That is expensive test.

Uh oh, Bleeb actually looks concerned.

((Sigh))Another TikTok challenge.

Acupuncture of the future.

“Sorry, Medicare does not cover that!”