That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 01, 2022

“Off in the distance, Major, is the Alamo. I recommend we trademark it in case people decide to use it to peddle everything from rental cars to cement.”

/// He is stylish, The Mexican Major,

and a man of great pride, I would wager.

On his boots, silver spurs.

Palomino prefers

he not use them, (they simply enrage her).

/// Spurred too hard, her gold coat may well bleed.

She might bolt; he could not intercede.

Then the Major might find

his troops charging behind

in a huge inadvertent stampede.

“I thought it was your turn to bring the snacks.”

well, at least it’s not a walk right? Just watch what you do with your reigns!

Looks like they held a war and nobody came.

Jill said she Loved our Breakfast Burritos. Here we are!

“We don’t need no stinking badges!”…………now you know where Mel Brooks stole that line from.

“OK – who said ‘send in the cavalry’?”

Did anyone remember the dimes for the tollgate?

Si, Americans are crossing the border to bring slaves and grow cotton. Should we build a wall?

But you said you knew a “good shortcut” to get us to the parade route

“Ohhh, Ceeesco !” “Oooh, Pancho !”

They finally did get rid/

Of the nuisance called “Cisco Kid”../

They sent him to Texas/

(That noxious nexus!)/

And told “never come back !” So he did.

Sir, the men are complaining about having to follow a horses derriere

He was given a tedious task/

“Take back Texas”: Why’d he fail ? Don’t ask !/

He was stopped at the border/

And returned (in good order)/

They would not let him in with a mask…

I’m confusing Cisco and Zorro./

These ideas you’re welcome to borrow./

Poor Ish posted late/

For sleep would not wait:/

I will worry about it tomorrow.

He seems to be going to war/

But that’s not what he’s dressed up for../

No wise man would wager/

On the Mexican major/

He’s just going to visit his wh0§e.///

He’s well known for his “triumphs” nocturnal/

(He’s recording his feats in a journal)/

It is said that he thrives/

On seducing the wives/

Of his sergeants. He will never make Colonel !

Dos amigos looking for tres.

Since we’re already here, if they don’t show up in an hour, we’ll pick sides. …. And I get all the guys with automatic weapons!

Who was in charge of telling our enemy that we were going to have a war?

What if they gave a war and only one side came?

Spinal Tap is very far from the stage….

Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!

Wait a minute, this isn’t the line for the new Steven Seagal movie?

“Using the tactics of our forefathers, we shall defeat the Cartels once and for all!”

“According to the map, there’s supposed to be a Denny’s here.”

His troopers are proudly arrayed/

Every man is prepared for parade/

But the Major is cursed/

As “the worst of the worst”/

For he can’t learn to park in the shade !

“Remember, guys, the higher value targets will be wearing goofy hats…”

“Gondor, huh? Ooookaaay. Well, they say they need some help, so who are we to refuse?”

Captain are you sure we need all these men to capture the Lone Ranger?

Men before we start…count off!

One Chalupa Supremo and 2000 tacos; to go.

♪Pancho met his match you know / On the deserts down in Mexico♪

I told you we should have taken a left at Albuquerque!

All dressed up with no place to go.

Looks like the Alamo is toast!

The Mexican Major: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings by Frederic Remington in the Art Institute of Chicago" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Yahoo, Bing, DuckDuckGo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Major, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2969 (August 1, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 3 works, by this artist, have been used here. The February 8, 2017, strip has the prior.

“Behold my treasure! Sand! Enough sand to corner the world glass market! Bwah-ha-ha!”

/// They’re protecting the Mexican nation

by a show of force (intimidation)

lest the Yanks come to call

(clamb’ring over “the wall”)

fleeing Monkey Pox, coups and inflation.

Poncho: i am here where is cisco? we could have had dinner at my house.

Enrick the gay millionaire and his band of subjects. just looking for a shady spot to rest.

He’s probably having a señor moment.

the mexican army pauses to remember the alamo…

The Major’s costume is ornate/

He looks like he’s dressed for a date/

But he’s looking defeated/

Since the lady just tweeted/

“Ride out to the desert and wait”