Pickles by Brian Crane for September 01, 2021

So Earl wants to be Trigger?

I want to have mine scattered at the Wine Shoppe.

It’s the library/coffee shop for me!

Next question: Have you made out your wills yet?

I don’t care, I won’t be there!

I like Earls style.

Swallowed whole by a giant crocodile.

Flung screaming into the Sun, please.

I’ve told the progeny to spread my ashes in whatever nice natural location they would like to visit. I suspect they’ll choose some other place though: Creepy.

Just dig a hole in the back and stick me in it.

Fossilization. Stoned for eternity.

Nice comeback Earl ;-)

Already pocked out!

Cremated and kept in an urn engraved “Kiss my ash.”

Many decades ago, my girlfriend’s dad, who (I now know) was depressed, used to say that when he popped his clogs, we should chuck him over the fence. His wife pointed out that the neighbours might not be too keen, but he wouldn’t have it.

May Earl’s sense of humor live on in his family and friends.

Lou Grant wanted to be put in the garbage with his hat on.

Final arrangements are generally an obsession of children, who don’t want the hassle of making decisions after parents die. Parents generally couldn’t care less, they’ll be dead anyway..

I like the idea in The Burial Waltz.

If you are cremated, at least have some of your ashes in a columbarium or plot. First, scattering ashes is messy, and second, somebody, someday, is going to want to visit your grave.

Hubby’s sister wanted her ashes thrown off a mountain near her home; the wind kept blowing them back into her kid’s faces. Same thing with scattering them at the seaside. They end up in somebody’s back yard.

My ashes are to be scattered at a Baseball diamond. ANY Baseball diamond!

When I asked my dad that question, he said, “I don’t care. I won’t be there.”

Stuff my ashes in a fireworks rocket and fire it over the ocean

Dump me in the woods. Let the raccoons and skunks nibble on my juicy tidbits.

‘’juicy tidbits’’ what a great name, for a cat food brand.

My sisters friends shot her husband last week. They loaded some shotgun shells with his ashes and went trap shooting.

Always with the JOKES.!!

You know, we keep hearing about Opal and the fabric store, but have we ever seen a strip with her at a sewing machine actually making something?

Obviously, somebody has been giving it some thought.

Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred,

Tan me hide when I’m dead.

So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde,

And that’s it hanging on the shed.

I hope to be wound up in either a sleeping bag or a plastic tarp and placed in the truck of a Cadillac under the hot Tennessee sun. https://fac.utk.edu/

Anyone who vacuums is going to be in for a surprise

Electrocuted in the shower while hiding from a jealous husband.

Pre-arranging your funeral is the best thing you can do for your family. It prevents squabbles among them, takes the stress of which casket, where to bury, and can we afford it. My father pre-arranged AND paid in advance. When he died the account had accrued enought to pay for the funeral and lunch for the entire family. We did add to his arrangements an honor guard. That was the most memorable funeral of all of the family’s funerals. It was misty, taps was played in the background, and the honor guard from the nearby military base stood at rigid attention. My husband thanked their leader and later received a thank you note from their superior.

After stuffing, he wants to be an installation at the museum of stereotypes.

I want to be free to be me…scatter my ashes to the wind….

There’s a coincidence. Two comic strips referencing La-Z-Boy today https://www.gocomics.com/onebighappy/2021/09/01

My dad always loved the beach; he was a ‘shark tooth whisperer’. Over the decades he collected quart sized pickle jars full of sharks teeth he had found. I got some of his ashes when he died this spring. I looked for a unique spot for him while at the NC Outer Banks this summer. The aquarium had a HUGE outdoor model of a mammoth sharks tooth, in a beautiful area with a view of the Sound. Some of his ashes are sprinkled there :-). My sister absolutely loved it.

Cremation all the way..

Stairsteppublishing is right. We’ve prepaid for everything. Brad wants his ashes scattered at the rodeo grounds, which I’m pretty sure is illegal. I told my friend, who will be handling this chore in case Brad goes first, to just drop the plastic bag in the trashcan by the door as she leaves the facility.

Smart alec, but reasonable to me.

Immersed in a vine vat !

Throw mom on top of pile of her fabrics in the back yard and burn baby burn

As for us … victims in the next Anaconda movie.

The unfortunate thing about so many people choosing scattering these days is the absence of memorialisation. Anyone trying to do family tree research in the future will have no cemetery markers to glean info from.

Little known reimbursement program:

If Covid is on a death certificate, FEMA has a program that will reimburse funeral costs up to $35,000 to the person who pays the funeral costs. Google “Fema covid funeral”.

I need to help my mom apply.

Mom and dad here will probably outlast most of us in this life, thanks to the fact that they live in the comic book world. And if you are a comic book hero, you can even die, and then magically come back later on, to make more money for the author(s) of that hero.

Some of us urn for immortality.

She should know better than ask Earl a question like that.

Opal probably wants to buried in her bunny slippers too.

I’m just going to make a reservation at the crematorium, and make an ash of myself.

I want my headstone to read ‘Yeah I’m dead, but at least I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.’

People get scattered (and vacuumed up) at Disneyland all of the time.

I want to be put in a Nam Vet USMC urn.