Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 29, 2021

That should get him tossed out of h3ll too

NEXT!!!!

That and too many songs about alcohol in a place that doesn’t serve alcohol.

This is especially relevant to me, because I’ve been watching karaoke at an outdoor place in Folsom these past days. Alot of them are pretty good. Including a 9-year-old girl who sang Shallows exactly like Lady Gaga would sing it.

The real reason, as I have been informed, is that he refused to give Jaweh undiluted obedience and love.

Karaoke is what started (Name any country) Got Talent. Another one of those rip-off reality shows…

We get Ceet Swaroline.

I call it scaryoki.

They were actually calling him Loser-fer.

Karaoke in Heaven?? Now that’s proof there is also beer.

Well it keeps people off the street.

As long as it’s a HELLuva song like that one from Irene CARA it’s OK for me

It is said, if one digs enough, one might find a nugget. Value determined by amount of digging vs number of nuggets found. From what friends tell me, karaoke nuggets require a whole lot of digging.

I like Neil Diamond.

So it was karaoke that got him cast out, huh? I guess smartphones, lawyers, and privatized healthcare came afterwards.

I always thought it was because of his accordion.

From “What About Bob”— Bob Wiley: “There are two types of people in this world: Those who love Neil Diamond, and those who don’t. My ex-wife loves him.”

7th inning stretch at Fenway!

My brother-in-law and I are under a restraining order not to sing in public or come within 100 feet of any operating karaoke machine.

I never Karaoke’ed. I am indeed blessed. …not sorry

I have sympathy for this guy…I have ‘’Broadway Tourette’s’’ an affliction that causes me to, break into a showtune, without warning. ‘’You say, it’s only a paper moon. Sailing over a cardboard sea. But it wouldn’t be make believe, if you believed in me…’’ Damn, there I go again. Arrgh!

karaoke: japanese for tone deaf…

His audition worked against him…..

So even after a righteous life that gets you into heaven you can still get kicked out!? My priest didn’t warn me about that!!

I dunno. Puts me in mind of Mark Twain’s observation about cigars. Said he, “I once remarked to my friend, Joe Twitchell, that if there is no smoking in Heaven, I shall not stay there. He just looked at me and said ‘oh, I wouldn’t worry about that if I had your chances.”

Every New Yorker knew that Satan was a Red Sox fan.

I was a karaoke king and never once did I sing anything by Neil Diamond. I was so good (so good, so good).

Interestingly enough, this could fit the plot of the TV show “Lucifer.”

The predecessor to karaoke was the Gong show. GONG!

This was the best laugh! Started off my day right …

And now the karaoke machine in Hell has only one song. Brandy.

The name Lucifer is from the Latin for bringer (ferre) of light (lux), a role played in Greek mythology by Prometheus, bringer of fire. As punishment for generosity toward humans, the jealous supreme beings in both mythologies condemned the good-hearted benefactors to eternal torment.

Anyone who ever wondered who were the good guys and who were the bad guys in these scenarios hasn’t been paying attention.

Explains a lot.

Barb, Barb, Barb,Barb, Barb, Barbra Ann . . .

Sorry for the ear worms.

Mark Twain nailed the Real Problem.

All the people down here on Earth who expect to spend Eternity in the Heavenly choir and not a single one of them is taking Music or Singing lessons.

Heaven doesn’t serve alcohol????

Best version of “Sweet Caroline” ever. I met Ted when they filmed a few scenes in the building where I worked. https://youtu.be/4Uk94_crZn0

Definitely worse than the whole the tree of the knowledge of good and evil thing. No wonder Paradise Lost had to be written.

It all makes sense now! Creation, the garden of Eden, the Great flood, the plagues, wiping out entire civilizations! It all makes sense now!