Tom Toles for July 15, 2020

He’s gotten his credit line extended so often that it’s apparently frayed all the way through. Certainly, one of the reasons that Putin pwns him is because no ethical bank will loan to him, but Putin’s thumb on the decision-scale means that he can still get a Russian loan.

Our Nation Suffers – {limerick}

When Trump doubles down in his games,

it’s the Nation’s interests he maims.

We anxiously fret

that he’ll get us yet

and that soon we’ll go up in flames.

… Coda: – {3 beats/line}

The Donald can huff and puff,

but as Prez he’s not up to snuff; -

- he’s merely a clumsy duffer.

{For this, our nation must suffer.}

. . . . . . . . . . . .

“But I’ve got a system! It isn’t paying of yet but once it does, I CAN’T LOSE!”

Hey he’s got more citizens he can wager.

However, if it were HIS casino….

If only.

But fear not, sir. The racism casino next door will let you double down all you want!

So this is what happens when a nation gambles on using disestablishment techniques advocated by those who want to make government so small that it can be “drowned in a bathtub”? There are hardly ever times and circumstances when libertarian non-conformity and anarchy are appropriate gambles, especially during a global pandemic.

Takeoff from the theme song to the TV series “Maverick,” Buttolph / Webster

(Hear it on YouTube)

”Jabber-jerk”

VERSES:

Who is the fat, orange Big Mouth there?

“Jabber-jerk” is his name.

Rantin’ and ravin’ “Things aren’t fair!”

Muck is what he’s slinging,

Ramblin’ is his game.

.

Smooth as a barbed wire fence is he,

Ev’ry one ‘round to maim,

Winningest leader e’er to be

(By his own admission,

Though the claim is lame.)

.

CHORUS:

Elephants, stand and cheer,

“Virus Hoax, Not to Fear!”

MAGAS will save his re-election quest.

Each and ev’ry red state

That wants ‘Merica kept great,

Thinks that Jabber-jerk’s the one to do it best.

.

VERSES”

Gamblin’ with real peoples’ lives,

Praying his luck remains,

Hoping enough of his Base survives,

Things don’t look so great now —

Please, let the polls show gains!

.

“Can’t trust my team of docs to lie,

Loyal ones we require,

Let’s choose one doc to mortify:

We should pick on Fauci,

Hoping he’ll retire.”

.

CHORUS:

As more and more people die,

Pence stands mildly by,

Drones on how great the Jabber-jerk to be.

Meanwhile from coast to coast,

The Health Care System’s toast,

Yet the White House Jabber-jerk lies unconvincingly:

Jabber-jerk stands and claims great victory!

Queue up the Dead “Loser”: “Don’t you push me baby, Cause I’m all alone, and you know I’m only in it for the gold”.

Getting help from China might be problematic given trumps recent whining but pretty sure Russia is still there to “arrange” things.

no doubt Deutsche Bank would be only too happy to help.

It’s the responsibility of all of us to make sure that he doesn’t get any more rounds of play!

If we extend him another 4 years of credit, we are liable to loose everything!

He’s known as “Lucky” at all the Casinos . . . the ones he bankrupted.

Now we know why his casinos went bankrupt 6 times

NO – ask them not to…

If you want to dance to the music, Chubbsy-Wubbsy, you have to pay the piper.

He needs a slap for everytime he talks about corruption. I hope His whole family winds up bankrupt working entry-level service jobs. I don’t shop Walmart much but I would to the one that employed him as a greeting. :P

Bet big and lose. Keep it rollin’ Trumpy!

Murderous racist Republicans are losers, vote every one of them out in November.

Good one. Toles remembers that Trump lost running casinos.

Son of Snake-Eyes.

The perils of putting somebody with severe brain damage in charge of a medical crisis……

The Man Who Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo (by running it).

 World Records in Ball Dropping

2001-08-06 • Presidential Daily Brief: “Bin Ladin Determined To Strike in US” • Bush did nothing.

2001-09-11 • 5 weeks after PDB • 9/11 attacks • Death toll: 2,977

2020-01-07 • Presidential Daily Brief: “Analysts concluded [coronavirus] could be a cataclysmic event.” • Trump did nothing.

2020-03-11 • WHO declared a global pandemic.

2020-04-15 • Trump suspended US funding of WHO.

2020-07-15 • 27 weeks after PDB • US death toll: 139,598

For comparison • Korean War (33,686) + Vietnam War (58,220) + Afghan War (7,970): 99,876

Now past • WW1: 116,516

Future targets • WW2 (418,500) • Civil War (~620,000) • Spanish flu (~675,000)

{Off-topic:}

Dirge – {2 beats/phrase}

The dirge continues, // verse by verse: -

- In the president’s venues // it’s worse and worse.

{He’s one of those men whose // persona we curse.}

He weakens our nation’s // very foundations

with his aberrations // and offbeat mentations

and money-fixations // and sundry vexations.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Republicans are leaving Americans broke, diseased and out of work, stop voting for those racists.

Hospitals are being told not to send information to CDC anymore. Information is to be sent directly to a new gov database run by Michael Caputo, a protege of Roger Stone & former Manafort aide. Caputo previously advised Russian president Yeltsin and did PR for Gazprom subsidiary.

We have a national security problem. Our Covid-19 information id being sent to Putin- and not to us.