Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for July 02, 2020

Hmm, puts me in mind of a Steven Wright joke—My girlfriend said, “If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?” and I said, “No”. She said, “Forget it then.”

If Agatha Christie we’re still alive, she would see nothing but ads for poisons and toxins in her Internet feeds.

What? No old lace.

That doesn’t explain all the ads I get for lonely singles who want to meet me.

OTOH, she’s got to be enjoying those Cyanide and Happiness cartoons she’s getting now, right?

“Checks, please. – No, separate. And call a taxi.”

If I were him I’d start getting carryout from now on.

No old lace, dearie?

Ain’t that the truth!

Time to leave—-NOW!

No Old Lace?

Big Google is watching you.

So when did they release Blanche Moore?

Scroggled. I had a discussion with a friend of mine on Gmail about photography. For the next couple of weeks I was shown ads for cameras and like equipment.

Sometimes I like to confuse the bot and I will Google diapers and pacifiers and retirement homes in the same session.

As he violently spews his coffee all over the table!

Grub hub it is.

Not to mention the old lace.

Did Quaalude come up on Bill Cosby’s computer?

that happens to me too

This one should be in two panels with the second on showing the man doing the classic “Spit out your drink” gag

Don’t forget the strychnine.

Drink up. You haven’t touched your coffee!

get out. get out now.

Her search was for “alternatives to retirement homes”.

Time to cover up that book you’re reading. She’s on to you.

Shouldn’t that have been ‘Arsenic and Old Lace’? With listings for formaldehyde?

Must be working on a new recipe….

That explains why I get ads of naked women.

AdBlock plus!

And she was hoping for something a little more tasteless… or at least coffee flavored.

No ads for lace?

Mine are all for nicotine and ricin