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Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 10, 2020

201 Comments

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member 10 months ago

    A Vegan Paradise , indeed .

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    Vilyehm  10 months ago

    Remember your German:

    Geh zum tofu.

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    eastern.woods.metal  10 months ago

    They may have come in obese but they won’t stay that way

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    Enter.Name.Here  10 months ago

    You may find yourself WISHING it was Tofu. Down there you probably “eat what you excrete”. YUCK!

    Hey, if LIFE is hell, then what is Hell?

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member 10 months ago

    On the up side, they’ll be destroyed by the lava before they reach the buffet.

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    Superfrog  10 months ago

    On a clear day you can soy forever.

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    Concretionist  10 months ago

    Not much imagination compared to those old time preachers.

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    jmworacle  10 months ago

    And rice cakes, don’t forget the rice cakes.

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    Bryan Farht  10 months ago

    A bonus level when you die? Even in games, you still have to be alive before you can go to the next level.

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    I Mad Am I  10 months ago

    The idea of Hell never made much sense to me. Burning fires, lakes of lava, torment of food and drink, physical tortures… and I can’t mention the sexual aspects. The part I don’t understand – you’re dead. I mean… the body no longer functions… that is what living was all about. All of the things people describe as Hell is all the stuff we have lived through or have lived in fear. But the moment you die those things go with the body. So… they would have no effect except the previous built-up fears. Either Hell is something completely different than our Forefathers could think up… or Hell does not exist.

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    mattro65  10 months ago

    I’ll go with the idea of hell being superstitious nonsense.

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    eastern.woods.metal  10 months ago

    Dad gave me some “fat free” cheese slices 5 years ago. They’re still in the fridge looking like the day I put them in there. I’m afraid to put them in the garbage in case they should go into hazardous waste.

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  13. Saywhat 2016
    Say What?  10 months ago

    Burn fat like a champion, and watch those pounds melt away!

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    willispate  10 months ago

    I’d rather be sent to Oblivion, then eat what’s on the Menu!

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    enigmamz  10 months ago

    Remember to “Kiss The Cook”!

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    gopher gofer  10 months ago

    if tofu isn’t to your taste you can help yourself to all the oatmeal you like…

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    PleaseStay6PixelsAway  10 months ago

    This is why I’m eating all the cheeseburgers and desserts that I can stuff in now.

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    backyardcowboy  10 months ago

    It’ll be good for their cholesterol. that’ s what probably got them in heck in the first place. “Tripple Decker Heart Stopper.”

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    mwest  10 months ago

    I bet the buffet in Hell doesn’t have sneeze guards, either!

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    Pickled Pete  10 months ago

    I fear if I have the audacity to question the existence of hell, I may be sent there just to get the answer..

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    sandpiper  10 months ago

    Oh Good. It doesn’t mention kale.

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    Dobby53 Premium Member 10 months ago

    Hell is eternity (24/7 x FOREVER) standing (standing!) around singing Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna with a bunch of people who couldn’t carry a tune in a paper bag. No coffee breaks. No buffet. To a Supreme Being who only wants praise? (That sounds too familiar). All those pictures of people romping around on clouds with wings? PR.

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    Jeffin Premium Member 10 months ago

    There’s no foo like a tofu.

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    rlaker22j  10 months ago

    you all just keep on thinking that with your small metaphysical minds, good luck

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 10 months ago

    It can’t be all that bad. I don’t see kale on the menu. Imagine what the flatulence would do with all that fire around.

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    sixam  10 months ago

    On the bright side, at least it’s not low sodium.

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    Whatcouldgowrong  10 months ago

    I see bones and a skull. So, you’re dead, you’ve gone to Hell . . . and then you starve to death? Then come back around to Hell? Think I’ll go watch “Groundhog Day,” it’s perfect for the times.

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    HopeL  10 months ago

    It would be hell for me, I can’t have soy (tofu)

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    SusieB  10 months ago

    My idea of a Heavenly buffet, is lots of pssta, bread, potato dishes, hamburgers, chicken, French onion soup, and every dessert imaginable. You don’t get fat no matter how much you eat!

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    dflak  10 months ago

    My wife is a nurse, she likes to cook and she’s a good cook. I think our marriage is based on the principle, “She likes to cook; I like to eat.”

    She can make the good stuff taste good. We eat healthy. My issue is not with eating too much bad stuff, it’s with eating too much good stuff.

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    FredWaiss  10 months ago

    If you want to read a really good sf novel that gives a new view on both of those places, read “Job: A Comedy of Justice” by Robert Heinlein.

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    Herb L 1954  10 months ago

    Good to see Drumpf,and Steven Miller still have jobs ;(

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    edstephens74  10 months ago

    Great, finally find a Celiac friendly buffet and everything is made of tofu

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    jgigliotti123  10 months ago

    Aww hell.

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    Buckeye67  10 months ago

    Thanks to Covid, it will be a very long time before we see buffets again.

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    VickiP123  10 months ago

    it’s all in the mind….and was brainwashed into minds a long, long time ago as a control by humans over humans…don’t see how it’s any more depressing than the real ‘ashes to ashes, dust to dust, get where you’re going by eternal combustion’…the only afterlife is the generations coming after you…Mother Nature designed it that way

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    mistercatworks  10 months ago

    I once made a fat-free, gluten-free, tofu cake for friends. Everyone said how much they liked it; no one asked for a second piece (even though it was loaded with sugar).

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    DCBakerEsq  10 months ago

    So, there’s no cheese?

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    thelost wizard  10 months ago

    Just think how healthy we’ll be.

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    Fido (aka Felix Rex) Premium Member 10 months ago

    Alternate gag: Keep the same image (the guys are naked), except now it’s a wonder all-you-can-eat buffet with all the finest gluttonery ever imagined. But the sign reads “NO SHOES, NO SHIRTS, NO SERVICE”.

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    locake  10 months ago

    And all the other people will be Vegans and they will make sure you know that every single day.

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    Plods with ...™ Premium Member 10 months ago

    Bet you didn’t think you’d open this can of worms. OR maybe you did.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 10 months ago

    As long as you’re still alive, things can always get worse.

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    COL Crash  10 months ago

    At least they’re not serving Soylent Green.

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    vanaals  10 months ago

    But…but…it’s barbecue. An eternal buffet barbecue!

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    Another Take  10 months ago

    In hell, there’s always the option of eating your neighbor.

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    scmods2005  10 months ago

    Neither the concept of heaven or hell make sense to me. You die, and somehow your soul – whatever that is that makes you ‘you’ – is still conscious and able to feel pain? Or, if you go to heaven, you… what? For all eternity? If my soul can still feel, then it can feel boredom.

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    bakana  10 months ago

    “Anyone who would live on the Rim would go to Hell for a Vacation.”

    — Commander John Grimes. [A. Bertram Chandler]

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    Triker2011  10 months ago

    And I was thinkin’ to myself, this could be Heaven or this could be Hell…

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    lordhoff  10 months ago

    Conversely, heaven sounds boring.

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    theoldidahofox  10 months ago

    The probability that a god exists, let alone one who gives a rat’s ass about humans, is infintely small.

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    Iwa Iniki Premium Member 10 months ago

    I love tofu; however, Heavenly Tofu only.

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    sml7291 Premium Member 10 months ago

    No worries, heaven and hell are both made up constructs to scare the gullible and control the fearful.

    My one near death experience was simply nothing… one moment I was experiencing the crash and the next I was waking up in the middle of the desert I had crashed into… no lights, no other signs, just nothing, no experience at all. Far too many people are so scared of death that they have to make up something that makes it something to look forward too. As @Kveldulf said earlier in these same comments — “What happens to a person after death? Same as happens to a mosquito after swatting.”

    I would never admit to anyone that I was so ignorant as to believe in any of that malarkey about heaven or hell or gods or devils or that I worshiped a device of agonizing torture as a symbol for a religion. Such death cults are an abomination and deserve to be mocked for the foolishness that they are.

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    librarian4hire  10 months ago

    Fat-free, gluten-free & made of tofu. Given the right seasonings, I can make a heavenly meal out of that.

     •  Reply
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