Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 08, 2024

You can just block it.

Maybe if you just send it all to the spam folder.

Generally, and if it’s actually spam, about the worst thing one can do is to try to “unsubscribe.” All that you’ll accomplish is confirming that your email address is actually verified as good and that someone is reading the spam emails.

Those instructions look a tad like those in Heinlein’s Space Cadet where Matt was taking one of the skills tests, said test a bit like a pinball machine but with very covoluted instructions for scoring.

I just mark as spam and empty the spam folder.

I sense a way to make ChatGPT come to a halt.

That’s how they make their money back(some online subscriptions require you to pay for ad-free content.

Rat clicked … Please subscribe me to all promotional email that I just unsubscribed to for the past 12 months.

I’m doubly positive that a double negative in my options will cause me to be charged double.

I wish there were some way to spam ’em right back!!

The truth is that they spam huge lists of email addresses compiled from everywhere over thousands of years… yes! I exaggerate for effect… When you click “Unsubscribe”, you’re telling the spam server that the address is good, that there’s a real human behind it. Then, you go to the “premium” list and they sell that to other spammers. Just set a rule to throw it all away. Seriously… is there anything worth reading in your email inbox? :D

5 seconds to subscribe, 2 weeks to unsubscribe.

Oh no !!! He clicked the box that said “please send me twenty times as much crapola”

Don’t hit any of them. Just use the SPAM or Block sender function in your email.

Click the one that says “Hi Phishing Scammers. I read and am responding to your request for permission to access my bank and credit card accounts.” Well, you don’t have to. Clicking anything on that page will do that for you. Actually, just going to that page already did.

The spamers hire the same folks that write voter initiatives.

I stopped unsubscribing. If you unsubscribe, they know it’s an active account. If you ignore it, they take you off the list.

Remember it’s @ before # except after $

Uuuuuugh, one of the banes of modern existence.

Only unsubscribe to soemthing you know you subscribed to

This is funny. The Lockhorns went through something similar today!!!

They do unsubscribe you. Of course, they then sell your name to everyone else…

What, no “prove you are not a robot” test? John Mulaney…and others, do a joke about how we spend most of our time online proving to robots they we aren’t robots.

A similar issue is having some service done and then be harassed to fill out “satisfaction” forms for weeks. Filling them out doesn’t help much.

You just can’t get rid of spam. They’ll just keep coming back to haunt you.

and more times than not, the unsubscribe link is buried in the small print at the bottom!

It doesn’t matter which one you click – you’re always subscribed to something.

Rat must be subscribed to a politician’s news feed. They speak politician just fine.

I have a website that will block your address from magazine and junk mail. The problem is, every time I enter a new one, it says to use the unsubscribe link on that companys’ website. So, to me, it was useless.

I think the first box is the one you want?

I was getting annoying robocalls from “emily king”. They started off Hi this is emily, do you remember that last week you asked me to call you back. I had a few minutes so i tried to screw up the robocall script. "hi emily – hows your mom – the last time we talked you told me she was in the hospital. The robocall kept trying to bring the conversation back but I persisted and finally I had the satisfaction that the robocaller was the one to disconnect.

Another one that hits the nail on the head. This is exactly what some of them do. Except for Rite Aid who apparently just ignores whatever you do to get rid of their ads.

Telemarketers are easier to play with. I normally tell them that my credit score is -3 and I am 250k in debt, do they really want my business.. That’s for the live calls obviously >D Works pretty well!

That third option is a grammatical and logical nightmare, but my best interpretation is you check all three and then click the HERE.

None of? How about any of? No wonder he’s confused, the way everything is phrased!

and next thing you know, there’s a knock at the door……..

Oh, I LOVE this!

It’s called “dark patterns” and it’s designed to make sure you get too frustrated and give up

Stop Forwarding That Cr@p to Me" by Weird Al

https://Www.youtube.Com/watch?v=KCSA7kKNu2Y

NEVER-EVER Unsubscribe! Then they got ya. And remember, cheap router firewalls do not allow you to block only the Top-Domain.

The Digital Goddess Kim Komando informs us not to click on the unsubscribe button and just Spam the email. That way the sender does not capture your data!

“Why do they make this so #$@# hard?” Answer: The people who design the “unsubscribe” form, are descended from the people who designed the old paper Income tax forms.

“unsubscribe” just lets them know it’s a valid email address

Be vewy vewy quiet. I’m twacking spammews. hehehehehehe.

It’s better than junk faxes, that use your paper & ink. It’s like junk mail postage due.

The real profit is in compiling and selling valid emails to other spammers. Unsubscribing to unsolicited spam just lets them know you are real.

I finally had to delete my primary email because I was getting a hundred spams a day. Just like snail mail: one piece of mail vs six pieces of junk mail. Now I use a Yahoo address for shopping, etc. and another email for important info.

I second that emotion.

I think I’d go with box 1 here—especially since #2 has a triple negative in it … However, three negatives still make a negative, right? Ow—brain exploding. Ha.

My Google phone also has a screening option. If a call from an unidentified number comes in, they get a message that the call is being screened and a transcript made of the call. Usually results in an immediate hang up.

If Rat clicks on the first box, the junk sender will likely send him more non-promotional emails. Poor Rat.

Never offer “proof of life”. I drowned in spam and had to cancel that e-mail address completely and start over with a new address.