Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for November 23, 2023

“When anything can happen, who CARES what happens?” —Roger Ebert

And yet they’re eating it anyway.

Funny, I thought Thanksgiving dinner was over last Sunday when they were cleaning the dishes.

Plus, if Batiuk to going to schlep the “Sam ‘N’ Ella’s” turkey joke over from “Funky Winkerbean,” couldn’t he have plopped Mopey Pete at the table why he was at it, seeing as he’s Mindy’s fiance twice over and would be a more logical dinner guest than Lillian the Lizard? Or is the Mopester busy trying to restart the pizza ovens at Montoni’s? It also would have broken up the space between Jessica and Mindy so that folks wouldn’t think they’re seeing double.

I’ve thought about doing this some year by skewering on extra drumsticks.

Tom went with this for Thanksgiving morning: “You who get food poisoning later today will envy the ones that die of radiation poisoning now!” What a great way to start your Thanksgiving morning but by being told that your relatives want you all dead. HA! HA! He’s CRANKY!

Apparently Crank did not use the oven… somebody nuked the turkey!

This seating arrangement emphasizes the fact that Max’s wife and sister are indistinguishable, other than their hairstyle. Make of that what you may.

“We’ve got chicken tonight. Strangest dang things. They’re man made. Little darn things. Smaller than my fist. But they’re new!” Henry: “So I just, uh… I just cut them up like regular chickens?” “Sure, just cut them up like regular chickens!” Eraserhead is the BEST Thanksgiving movie!! Show it to your grandparents today!

I wonder what’s up with Blonde #1 wearing a Charlie Brown shirt.

Let us never forget——if it wasn’t for mutations, none of us would be here.

More dark meat? I can live with that.

And there is still not enough drumsticks for everyone.

Sioux Falls had an early short-lived nuclear power plant back in the 1960’s. It never worked properly and the reactor was shut down shortly after it started. Whenever we had a visitor and I passed by the site, I would mention the Pathfinder plant. Then I would casually mention the 6 foot tall jackrabbits that were seen in the area.

Six drumsticks? Has Batiuk set a trap?

Why are there only two individuals sitting on the one side of the table, but four squeezed into the other side?

Ugh! Is that even safe to eat?!

Is this a tip of the hat to John Madden?

…..and they all seem……“dressed to kill”!!!!!!

You see, it’s funny because they’re all going to get radiation poisoning and develop cancer. And then a decade from now we’ll get all the sequel books. Ed’s Story, Lillian’s Story, Pmm’s Story, Jff’s Story, Mitch’s Story (while will finally reveal how his age fluctuated so much), Blondie’s Story, Other Blondie’s Story, I Forget His Name’s Story. Pulitzers and Oscars galore!

Ha. Ha. Boy, I can’t believe he held onto this gem for all these years.

There’s something vaguely disturbing about seeing Max’s wife and sister side by side…

I don’t think I’d want to eat that turkey.

One of the few comics that show the back of someone’s head. Happy Thanksgiving!

Tired of the old nuclear waste jokes. You want mutations look to people who live near large chemical plants.

…the Perry nuclear power plant?…

The hater is back.

still not enough

4 breasts?

True story from the dinner table:

Me – “I want a drumstick.”

Big Brother – “I want the other one.”

Little Sister – “I want one, too.”

Mom – “Sorry, your brothers spoke first, and a chicken only has two legs.”

Little Sister – “That’s not true – how could they walk?”

And yes, while Sis is strange, she is as bipedal as any of us……………..

No no, not a nuclear waste dump. It was raised on John Maddens farm.

Still impressive. May be deadly but still impressive…..

no silverware or plates just that guy with the little wine glass

Also, this might coming from a confirmation bias but – why does it seem like so many of Tom Batiuk’s strips rely on the preparation or consumption of bad food as the subject?

Not at all funny……actually it’s ignorant!

And when was the turkey farm founded? 1957? Which means the land was a nuclear waste site in….. 1820?

I am pretty sure “Blondie” was doing the “Sam ‘n’ Ella’s Grill” joke before Batiuk discovered it.

Fun fact of the day: the gene regulating the number of limbs and digits is called “Sonic Hedgehog.” Not making this up. When it’s improperly regulated during fetal development, this is what you get.

And for the main course a pizza from Montoni’s.

Homer Simpson would approve

And seven people became vegans that day…

Strontium! It builds bones 90 different ways!

I am uncomfortable at the thought of eating a mutated turkey

That’s a John Madden Turkey. They had them all the time when he called games!

It works for Madden

When I was a kid, my mom bought 8 legged Turkeys all the time.

That way, there was enough left over turkey to make the Turkey Noodle Soup.

And, they are still two drumsticks short.

Lets just hope they have two White Meat Only fanatics at the table.

Is that even safe eating a mutated radioactive turkey?