Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 18, 2020

Buy some fecks and you will be my fine feckled friend!

Buy some gorms and be gormly!

Buy some ferns and be fernly!

Specials on feckled, gorm-A (the best kind) ferns!

I thought I had gorm & feck until the fern died.

I only became that way by being careless but fortunately, I’m shameless.

Call me feckless, will you? To quote Father Jack (from ‘Father Ted’): ‘Feck off!’

Movie star sunglasses!

But I live in San Fernando, where it is gorm weather the frek or not…

Hey, Guido, leave the gun, take the cannoli….duh

In the after dark chocolate malted, all cat’s pajamas look the same.

I think I’m very efecktive and gormful. That’s enough fern now.

I wonder where Ruth is.

Ya I know Fernny from Gormany Frekas…

…the feckless finger of fate award goes to Fern Gully…

…and the usual bunch of idiots…

…why are sunglasses sexy?…

…and can knights wear them?…

…Mz. Burritt called me gormless…

…bet you never got a gormless…

…just what are the orange and grey/gray boxes?…

…meanwhile, armed apes are marching on statehouse demanding a banana republic…

…I’d rather be blissfully happy thanks…

….the Joker is running the place…

…in kahoots with Lex Luthor…

…while Supes & Bats wallow in fan fiction fantasies…

Gormless, warmest, and formless am I. (Saith the Blob.)

Ok, Ok … I’ll buy a fern … how much for a feckin’ gorm …?

Wanna buy a duck?

Gorm, v. To smear, as with anything sticky. When a child has smeared its face with something soft and sticky, they say: “Look how you have gormed your face.”

Gormless, Chiefly British. Lacking intelligence or vitality; stupid or dull. Origin of gormless. From dialectal gawm sense from Middle English gome notice from Old Norse gaumr.

Feck (or fek or feic) is a form of effeck, which is in turn the Scots cognate of the modern English word effect. However, this Scots noun has additional significance: Efficacy; force; value; return. Amount; quantity (or a large amount/quantity)

feck·less – adjective

lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible.

“a feckless mama’s boy”

.

I have all the ferns I need, some in the backyard are like 6 feet tall.

I see no difference, replied Fern, still hanging on to the ax. This is the most terrible case of injustice I ever heard of.

Muster Mark is here, looking for his quarks. He will not accept gorms.

Fern, I’m gormless about what the feck is going on.

How am I supposed to read this anal print where the moon don’t shine?

Auntie Fern has left us, ’tis sadly true. As for being stupid and ineffectual, well, take off those sunglasses and repeat it! So there! Pbttth!

Eight-ball in the corner pocket, off the far cushion….